


Edge Of Faith

by LogicalHeart



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers:Endgame, F/M, Happy Ending, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Tragedy, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2019-10-07 16:32:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 88,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17369465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LogicalHeart/pseuds/LogicalHeart
Summary: Post-Infinity War and Pre Avengers: Endgame. Set after Avengers: Infinity War, Natasha and Steve are faced with another tragedy that tears them apart. A couple of years later, serendipity has brought them back together, but there are some scars that never fade. They are left with the fact they couldn't save their friends from their fate. But a glimmer of hope sparks a plan that could possibly bring everyone back. Rated M: Strong Language and Strong Sexual Content.





	1. I.

 

 

  ** _WAKANDA_**

_"It won't be long now," A soothing voice said in my ear._

_I was breathing slowly, feeling my hair matted down to my sweaty face. I looked down slightly to see blood on my legs and arms. There was so much blood, and it shouldn't have been._

_"My name is Dr. Ravira, and I'm going to help you, ma'am. Can you please tell me your name?" She asked me, rubbing my arm to calm me down. My breathing was shallow as I shut my eyes in pain._

_"Natasha Romanoff." I breathed out. I squeezed the metal armrest tightly and grunted in pain as another contraction jolted through my body._

_"It's going to be alright, Natasha."_

_I looked up at her and let out another groan in pain, "Is it?"_

_Her mouth opened to say something, but it immediately closed when I let out another painful scream, "Natasha, honey, you have to push for me now."_

_I clenched my eyes tightly and pushed as hard as I could, feeling my body tense in pain._

_"Please." I cried softly, "I can't do this. It hurts so bad."_

_Dr. Ravira gave me a small, sad smile and wiped my forehead with her hand._

_"Natasha, when this next contraction hits, I need you to push. The baby's head is crowning, and we need to get her out now," Dr. Ravira instructed._

_The pain peaked, and I pushed for all my small body was worth it. I barely heard the doctor say that the head was out and to hold so she could unwrap the cord before I was pushing again. As the baby's shoulders drove from my body, black spots dotted my vision, and I panted, trying to hang in there. Before I could lay my eyes on my daughter, everything went black._

* * *

_I felt paralyzed, numb. I felt like I was trapped in a dark room with a voice like a distant echo calling to me. As the sound grew louder and stronger in urgency, the darkness slowly dissolved. I could see a faint light burning behind my closed eyelids. The view got brighter as the haze surrounding my head cleared. The new-found clarity focused my attention on a stabbing pain at the back of my head. My eyes fluttered open, and I heard a sigh of relief._

_I opened my eyes fully and saw Steve leaning over me. Worry was etched all over his face. He managed a warm, encouraging smile._

_I smiled softly, "You made it."_

_"Finally," he laughed a little. "I wasn't gonna let a little storm stop me."_

_I slid my hands into his and clasped onto it tight, "I'm just glad you're here."_

_Quickly, a sudden reminder clicked in my mind._

_"Did I have the baby?"_

_Steve's smile moved a little as he sat down on the hospital bed with me, "You did."_

_"I didn't even see, passed out, I guess." I shrugged. "Did you...were you..."_

_"I was in the air. I got here a few minutes after, and Dr. Ravira's been filling me in." He bent down and kissed my hand softly. "You were so brave."_

_"It was the scariest thing I had to do," I sighed. "The power went out, and I was in so much pain. And missing you."_

_I looked at him and smiled again, "But none of that matters now. She's here; we have our daughter."_

_He nodded slightly and placed my hand to his chest._

_"Where is she?"_

_"In the other room. The doctors with her now."_

_"Well, I'm ready to meet our baby girl," I tried to get up, but his handheld me down firmly. "No, no, Nat," he said soothingly. "It's OK, just lay back down."_

_"What is it, Steve?"_

_"I just... I want to drink you in." He sighed, looking at me with loving eyes. "The glow around you."_

_"Well, you can also drink me in with our baby in my arms."_

_Steve leaned closer and cradled my face, "I want you to know how proud I am of you. You were so brave and so strong, stronger than I'll ever be."_

_I moved my head to the side and kissed the palm of his hand, "Are you just saying this cause I went through this alone?"_

_Steve winced slightly, as if a knife hit him, "Please, I don't want you to feel guilty about this."_

_"Yeah, well apart of me always will."_

_"No, don't. Seriously." I placed my hand on his cheek. "I appreciate you calling me strong but..."_

_"Can you do me a favor," Steve interjected. "Don't minimize what you did, what you went through because it was amazing. And you should celebrate it and remember it. And you should know that we're in this together and there is nothing that we can't get through together. You know that, right?"_

_"I know that, of course." I nodded. "Look, honey if you're stalling the doctor because you need to make things right with me, there's no need for that."_

_I pulled his face to mine and kissed him chastely, "It's OK, Steve. I know you did everything you could to get here and I don't blame you at all."_

_"I know that," He smiled weakly, leaning into my touch. "You're too good for that."_

_"Hopefully our daughter can take that from both of us, huh."_

_Steve chuckled, but it came out hoarsely, "Yeah, hopefully."_

_My eyes averted out the doorway by my bed, "You know I'm surprised I don't hear her out there. You said she's in the other room, right?"_

_Steve bent his head down and sucked in a deep breath, "Yeah."_

_"Sleeping?"_

_"Um..."_

_"I mean, whatever tests needed to be done should be done right now. It shouldn't be taking this long. So can you tell the doctor I'm ready to see her."_

_Steve's eyes met mine, and my heart froze in fear. He looked at me with so much pain and anguish that I barely recognized him._

_"What's wrong?" My voice croaked, the tears threatening to leave my eyes. "Steve please you're scaring me."_

_He shifted closer to me and tried to rub my shoulders in comfort, "No, I need to see our daughter, so where is she? Steve, tell me please, where is she?" I cried, clinging onto his arm._

_"Nat..."_

_"Answer me, where is my daughter?" I pleaded with him. When Steve didn't answer again, I tried to move from my spot, but he held me down back as he did before._

_"Nat, stop! You have to recover!" He yelled, his hands holding my shoulders in place._

_"Recover from what? What am I recovering from?" I yelled desperately._

_Steve smiled weakly with a tear on his face, his hands resting on the nape of my neck, "She didn't make it."_

_And just like that, my heart was utterly shattered by those four words._

_"No, don't say that...why would you...you saw her..." I couldn't form a coherent sentence._

_My heart broke some more as I watched Steve's beautiful face completely crumple in pain and despair, "I'm so sorry, Nat."_

_I shook my head in disbelief, "No, she's fine. I need to see my little girl." I was numb. My voice sounded dead and lifeless to my ears._

_"Nat, please."_

_"I need to see my baby, Steve."_

_"I will bring her to you but..." He closed his eyes and clenched onto to my hand tightly, "You have to be prepared because...I wasn't. "_

_"She's alive. I didn't carry her all this time for nothing; I didn't love her all this time for nothing."_

_"I know, sweetheart."_

_My voice came out as a hoarse whisper, "No, no, no." The tears returned to my eyes._

_"Dr. Ravira! Dr. Ravira, I need to see my baby!" I yelled through my tears._

_After a couple of more seconds of yelling, she was at the door, holding something covered in a white blanket._

_"Is that..." I gasped slightly at the sight of them._

_"That's her," Steve whispered._

_Ravira strolled to me before placing my daughter carefully in my arms, "She needs her mommy." I cried again._

_My baby girl, she was so beautiful. Her tiny little hands, small little feet, chubby cheeks. I felt myself start to cry again as I held onto her lifeless body. Her eyes were closed, and she remained still in my arms._

_"It was_   _a placental_   _abruption," Dr. Ramira stated sadly. "There was nothing I could do."_

_Steve nodded curtly, and Dr. Ravira left us alone._

_"Open your eyes, sweetheart." I cried, brushing a stray of hair away from her face. "Mommy needs you to wake up for me."_

_Steve said nothing as he secured his arms around both of us, He held me tight, and my tears fell unabated down my face as I felt my entire soul being crushed eternally. I just laid my head on Steve's chest and cried for the death of our baby girl._


	2. II.

_Natasha's POV  
_ _"Our memory is a more perfect world than the universe: it gives back life to those who no longer exist."_ _— Guy de Maupassant_

* * *

2 YEARS LATER...  
**NEW YORK CITY**

I woke with a start, just like I did every time I had that dream. Cold sweat poured down my back, making my tank top stick to my skin, and I struggled to rein in my tears. The thought was always the same, and I'd had it several times over the years. Each time, I talked to my therapist about it, wondering if it was a memory rather than a dream, but they always concluded that it was most likely my subconscious mind's way of dealing with my loss. If I couldn't accept what happened that night, then perhaps it wasn't right.

It was an automatic movement when my eyelids opened. For a moment, I stared at the ceiling. I relived every ounce of sadness, every pang of grief before my feet could hit the cold, wooden floors of the hotel room.

Once I was out of bed, I walked to my closet. For a moment, I examined myself in the mirror, hanging on the door. My eyes were puffy and red, which explained the dull burn was consuming them. I looked like I hadn't slept at all. A part of me wouldn't have objected to crawling back under the covers and pretending the past 24 hours didn't happen, but things were needing to be done.

Once I removed myself from the solace of my room, I stopped by the bathroom where I splashed cold water on my face in an attempt to breathe some life into my features. It did little as I sighed, staring into the bathroom mirror at my haggard reflection.

The lower level of the hotel was eerily silent for a Sunday morning. Usually, the fuckers next door would have the radio on full-blast, but it was quiet. Finally.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a half-empty coffee mug in one hand while turning the small TV on with the other. The news, the only channel that could keep me in a stable mood. It's not like hotels have good television.

I flinched when my hand touched a small picture that was on the counter.

My fingers slowly turned it over to see a familiar sight. A particular memory quickly made its way into my brain.

_"Hello, Ms. Romanoff! Are we ready to find out the sex?"_

_"Yes, we are," Steve spoke strongly. "Now, is there any way that the ultrasound won't be able to show us? I was reading that sometimes the baby's legs might be crossed or they'll be turned a specific way or..."_

_"Don't worry, Mr. Rogers. The doctor says your little one is in a perfect position. May I, Ms. Romanoff?"_

_I nodded slowly, and she lifted my gown before she squirted gel over my abdomen._

_"Sorry, might be a little cold," She smiled and pushed the large TV screen around so that we could see it. There wasn't a picture yet, but I was very excited._

_"Where's the baby?" Steve scooted forward._

_"Hold on, Mr. Rogers." The technician took the doppler from the ultrasound machine and started to spread the jelly out over my stomach._

_The screen flashed and was quite spectacular. I saw my baby in all 3-D glory. The baby was still tiny, but I could distinguish the head and little legs and small feet. I almost squealed in delight. My baby was nuzzled in peaceful sleep, and I could hear the heartbeat thumping strong. Healthy. That was all I cared about._

_"So?" Steve was biting his lip in anticipation and leaning so far over the table that his face was almost pressed to the screen. "What are we having?"_

_"Mr. Rogers, please sit down." The nurse giggled. "Okay, are you ready?"_

_I nodded softly._

_"Alright, you two, say hello to your daughter," she cooed._

_And just like that, tiny tears left my eyes._

_"Our baby girl," I sobbed._

_Steve took my hand, intertwining our fingers. "Wow."_

_I thought he might jump for joy. He instead started to pace and talk to himself. His face certainly didn't look mad. I could see a hint of a smile._

_"Congratulations!" The nurse clapped, "Now, just stay still while I check her organs and make sure they're developing properly."_

_I couldn't pay attention to her, but she scratched a lot of things on a clipboard. I was staring at my daughter._

_"Let me get you cleaned up, and then you can change." The nurse said when she was done._

_She wiped off my stomach and handed me my tissue for my tears._

_"A girl? Are you sure you saw it, right?" I asked her._

_"Of course, I did. You must be happy."_

_"I am."_

_"Well, you'll be a good mother. I can tell." She patted my shoulder._

_Steve looked at me and smiled, "Yeah, she will."_

I jumped in my spot when I heard a loud noise.

I looked at the TV and saw those police cars were everywhere, people were being pushed behind offensive 'Caution' tape, and a slew of cops was positioned in front of the grocery store — armed robbery in the process.

I sighed deeply, putting the picture down, "Time to go to work."

* * *

By the time I screeched to a halt in front of the store, I felt like I had been driving for hours. The adrenaline rushing through my veins was enough to keep me awake for days.

The scene was just as it was on TV, but so much more alarming. Red and blue lights flashed everywhere. Police cars and ambulances were placed, not only in the parking lot but up and down the streets as well. People were standing around, talking, whispering.

The yellow tape that blocked everything off was a complete nuisance to me, but easy to rip out of the way.

"Ma'am, you need to get back." A young deputy ran in front of me, his hands raised.

"If you value your bones, you'll step away from me," I said slowly.

"All civilians must be behind the barricades, ma'am." He pushed my chest.

I took his wrist and flipped it behind me, pulling it halfway up his back. I saw a lot of commotion out of the corner of my eye. Police officers being shouted at me.

I pulled on his wrist more, making him squirm under my grasp. "I need to get in there. Who's in charge here?" I asked him.

"Behind the yellow tape, ma'am," he ground out through his clenched teeth.

"Natasha, let him go." I heard a familiar voice. "I'll have you arrested right here if I have to."

I pushed the deputy on the ground and raised my head, only slightly surprised by the woman in my eye line.

"Sharon Carter. What the hell are you doing here?" I stepped over the pathetic excuse for a cop, who I had just disarmed.

"I work Hostage now," she said in a huffed tone.

"You were demoted?" I raised an eyebrow.

"If you must know, yes. That fucking stunt you pulled four years ago didn't go well for some of us." She snapped her mouth shut.

The officers had lowered their weapons but were still standing there like they didn't have anything better to do.

We stood around like awkward, ex-best friends, meeting each other for the first time since graduation. It was stifling, and a forced tolerance swirled around us. She didn't like me; I didn't want her. We both knew that.

"You'll get over it." I shrugged.

"You need to leave." She stood up to me. "If you won't, we'll be forced to arrest you."

"So why don't you do it then?" I goaded her. She didn't answer me. "That's what I thought."

"So, what's the play?" I looked around the parking lot, filling with more people and more cars.

"They say…we wait." Her eyes didn't falter or shift. She was serious.

I pushed her out of my way, walking closer to the police car line up that was placed about two hundred feet from the entrance of the store. The officers followed, yelling orders.

"Natasha, you have no jurisdiction here. You're not even an agent anymore." She spun me around. I calmed my anger from her touch. It wouldn't be advantageous for me to get arrested right now.

"There are innocent people in there." I pointed behind me. "I demand to know what you're going to do about it."

"We have orders to follow, Natasha. We can't just barge in there without a plan."

"I'm going in there whether you like it or not." I tapped my shoe impatiently.

"Boss, do you want us to escort her away?" Another deputy came up behind me. I almost wrung his neck for being so close.

Sharon looked at me with squinted eyes, sizing me up. "Can you keep your cool and let me do my job?"

"I'll give you one fucking hour." I held a finger up. "Then I'm handling it."

"She can stay," Sharon told her men.

I stuck close to her since she seemed to know what she was doing. Sharon was very confident and clear with her demands. She told everyone what needed to happen and when. I was begrudgingly impressed.

I paced behind Sharon as she and the other officers went over floor plans of the grocery store.

"There are only two ways in," someone said, hunched over the police car hood where the papers were scattered. "The loading dock in the back and the front entrance."

"There are snipers on the roof and the two buildings across the street as well," someone else muttered. "We've got the place covered, so no one's getting out."

Sharon exhaled, "I don't like these odds."

That made me stop. Everyone took notice and ceased their talking, so I began pacing again.

"I need video surveillance from inside. Where is my video feed?" Sharon shouted.

"It's coming!" a tech guy said. "Give us five minutes."

"How many people are inside?" I asked no one in particular.

"We're not sure."

"How many robbers are there?"

"We're not sure."

"How long have they been in there?"

"An hour, maybe more. We're not sure."

"What do you know?" I crashed my fist down on the car. I was rewarded with a low throb, pulsing throughout my hand. A couple of cops jumped and had hands-on their guns, but eased back.

"Natasha, stop it." Sharon pulled me away from the group. "You're not helping anyone."

"Neither are you." I rubbed my palms on my pants. They had been sweating for too long.

"Please," she whispered. "Give me time. All hostage-takers want to be heard. Once they call, I'll know what they need specifically."

I felt like I was going to throw up as the minutes passed.

I didn't do anything. I cooled my nerves because I was in the perfect place for information. Sharon talked to me every couple of minutes and gave me updates.

"We have a video feed." One of the tech officers brought over a crude-looking laptop, which played a black and white scene. He set it on the hood of the cop car. I pushed my way into the circle.

The picture changed every couple of seconds. The feed was from several different cameras around the store, placed at a variety of locations. Each time, my heart sped up.

"We have a pregnant hostage." Sharon pointed to the corner of the laptop, and my attention shifted. She looked so fragile, curled into a corner, by herself. Then the picture changed.

"No!" I shouted. "Bring it back."

"I can't do that." The tech guy shrugged. "It's rotating on its own."

I grabbed him by the collar and raised my throbbing fist. Sharon pulled me off of him before I could strike.

She dragged me to the side. "I have to save that woman."

"No, stay here and let me do my job," she said with finality.

I waited.

Fifteen minutes later, the commissioner showed up with the fire department and more cops. Sixteen minutes later, more television stations set up shop around the store. They all chattered about the robbery and wanted to assure the public that everything was being taken care of.

Like hell, it was…

Eighteen minutes later, the bomb squad showed up. That's when I almost lost it. You only called them if you suspected an explosive.

I went unnoticed by the cops who were shuffling around, trying to look like they were doing something. I stayed out of there way for the most part.

From the video feed, more answers came. There were four robbers. They wore masks at first but pulled them off as time passed. Sharon informed me that this was indeed a random hostage situation. The group was a bunch of rowdy guys who had held up large stores like this all over the state. They hadn't been caught yet. What made me more anxious was the fact that two of them were ex-military. They had names and faces, but I didn't care. All their blood would be the same once I was through with them.

Twenty minutes later, finally, something happened.

"Boss, we have a phone call!" someone from a truck shouted.

There was a lot of movement, and people started to pull on headsets. I ran over to Sharon, almost knocking her down.

She held a phone in her hand and put it against her ear. I leaned in so that I could hear.

"This is Sharon Carter. I'm in charge of this situation."

I rolled my eyes at her.

"I need to speak with the commissioner." The voice was cold.

Everyone was listening. The Commissioner shook his head.

"He's not here," Sharon replied. "It's just my team and me."

"Alright, then. I have some demands."

"Name them."

"Five million dollars in cash and a plane at the airport, ready for us in an hour."

"I can't do that. Who am I talking to?" Sharon asked.

"That's none of your concern. Give me what I want, or someone will die every ten minutes. You have until midnight."

"We can't give you any of that. We don't have the resources."

"You have until midnight." The voice repeated.

Tired of the game, I snatched the phone from Sharon. "Listen to me, you little shit. I don't care who you are…"

I didn't get to finish my sentence.

"We'll call you back in five." Sharon ended the call. "What the hell was that?"

"I'm done playing your games," I grunted.

"You could have endangered them in there." She was livid, and her face was turning an odd shade of purple. "This is my job. We do as I say."

"If you would do your job, then everyone would be safe now."

"Romanoff, that was your last chance. Let me handle this." She pointed at me. She didn't seem fazed at all.

"So that someone can die?"

She didn't answer me.

I spun around on my heel and took off toward the opposite end of the parking lot. I went to one of the unguarded trucks and went to the back of it.

"Move," I commanded. "I'm doing this myself."

"You can't do this, Natasha," Sharon protested.

"Don't tell me what I can't do." I harshly started to test the chambers of guns, peeking inside to see if they were all loaded.

"There are people in there that might get hurt. You have to wait," Sharon said.

"I'm done waiting."

The guns in my hand were IMI Desert Eagles. It was sturdy and menacing. The accuracy was almost perfect, and it was easy to carry. I cocked it back and made sure the cartridge was full.

I walked calmly up toward the grocery store. I seemed to go unnoticed until I hit the police blockade. Then there was movement.

"Drop your weapon!"

"Put the guns on the ground, hands behind your head!"

"You have five seconds to give it up!"

I just stood there, my patience running thinner.

"Natasha put the guns down now!" Sharon got in my way.

"You can lock me up when I'm finished."

I moved passed her, getting closer to the entrance. She followed. "Natasha, I can't let you do this. You're a civilian."

"I don't care. I have more experience than half your squad, and I'm not going to sit back and let innocent people die."

The grocery store was very close. I was almost there.

"Stop her!" I heard the commissioner yell.

The snipers on the roof pointed their guns at my body; I just kept walking.

"Stop her!"

"If you're going to shoot me, do it now." I stopped, waiting.

Sharon didn't make the call, so I kept going.

"Natasha, no."

"Get out of my way, Sharon. I don't have time for this."

Fifty feet…

"Think about the hostages. They might get hurt."

"They'll get hurt if I leave it to you people."

Thirty feet…

"I'm going to have you arrested," she sputtered.

"Do it now or shut up."

Twenty feet…

"I'll have my men take you down."

"Cute," I scoffed.

Ten feet…

I gave her one last chance to do something, but I knew she wouldn't. As Sharon said, she plays by the rules. I had shaken her up too much. She didn't know how to handle this situation. She would probably end up getting demoted, yet again, because of me. She would be lucky to be a desk clerk after this.

I nodded curtly and walked through the sliding doors.

It was eerily quiet. The soft, tinkling music playing above created an atmosphere that didn't seem real. I felt like I had stepped into a grocery store from The Stepford Wives. Everything appeared perfect upfront, but I knew dangers lurked in the back.

The good thing about stores like this was that they had mirrors in almost every crook of the store to prevent theft. There were big circular ones in the corners, small rectangular ones on the ceilings, long thin ones on the walls. They were everywhere. I could see everything.

I pinpointed my targets in the mirrors and made sure that they were far away from the last place I had seen the pregnant woman on the monitors outside. They were perusing the aisles with their guns drawn, scaring the hell out of anyone they walked passed. It looked like the hostages were being huddled into groups around the store. They have made way to keep track of everyone.

I just stood there for a couple of seconds, surveying the area. Then I realized that I didn't have time for all this shit. I had to get in and get out. It would take far longer for me to seek them out. Why not bring my targets to me?

"Hey, stop where you are!" a gunman shouted at me from the left.

We were standing in front of the store, just staring each other down. My gun wasn't even raised. His face wasn't covered, and I could see that he wasn't much younger than me, but looked like a kid with his disheveled sandy hair and wide eyes.

"You're not supposed to be here," he said. "Take another step, and I'll shoot."

"Do it."

He took his eyes off of me for one second, and that's all I needed. Instead of wasting bullets, I decided to be more practical.

There was a lovely display of vodka next to me with the bottles stacked up into a pyramid shape. I felt for whoever put it together. I started to pull the glass bottles down and just threw them in his direction.

He got hit a couple of times in the head, and by the fifth bottle, the smell of alcohol was in my nose. His hold on the gun wasn't firm, and his trigger finger slipped. Bullets started flying into the ceiling. I ducked and began crawling on the floor towards him. He wasn't even paying attention.

I kicked him in the chest and swept his legs from under him. His clothes were soaked in spilled vodka. I slammed his head to the floor, placing my knee on his neck. "Where's the pregnant woman?"

He couldn't respond and started to choke something out.

You don't have time for this…

"Tell me!"

"Fruit...section."

I raised my fist and quickly punched his head. He limped to the side, and blood started to pour from under his hair. I didn't think he was dead, but if he was, so be it.

I got off of the ground, gun in hand. I was now even more furious.

The store was bigger than I remember, and I had to slink behind corners and aisles to check if anyone was coming. I didn't hear or see anything, but that just made me more suspicious. Where had they gone?

The first group of people I came across was a mixture of about ten. They were all different ages and races but looked scared out of their minds. They took in my gun, and some started to cry.

"No, it's alright," I shushed them. "I'm gonna get you all out of here. Where is the fruit area?"

None of them answered.

"Fruit, like oranges, pears, lemons, and all that shit," I clarified.

Nothing.

"Is it to the right?" I asked a worker with an apron. He looked sick.

He didn't say anything.

"To the right or left?" I asked again.

He pointed to the left with a shaky finger.

I nodded my thanks and began walking, crouched low to the ground.

In the mirror in the corner, I could see another gunman. He was at the end of the aisle and had yet to notice me. His stance was firm. I guessed one of the experienced ones.

I made sure to make a little noise as I stood up to bring attention to myself. He spun around, gun raised and jumped in fear.

I shot three to the chest, and they knocked the wind out of him. He stumbled backward, shocked, and stunned. Even though a vest guarded me, bullets still hurt like hell. They would leave bruises.

With one hand on my gun, I lifted it and precisely shot a bullet through his right leg. It flew out of the back of his thigh and blood splattered the pristine white floor as he yelled in pain.

I didn't have time to revel in my glory. I was running out of time.

The grocery store was a foreign place for me. The last time I came in, one was when...I was pregnant.

I immediately pushed the thoughts away, continuing my path.

Focus, Natasha.

The fruit section was tucked away behind a couple of other aisles. I had a tough time finding it. There was, once again, another group of people huddled together.

"I'm looking for the pregnant woman," I whispered.

"By the apples." A man pointed.

I slid across the floor to stay out of sight of the gunman fifty feet away. He was checking the front and left his valuable prize unguarded.

My knees began to hurt as I crawled.

Why were there so many fucking varieties of apples? I looked behind all the bins. I learned so much. Granny Smith was the green ones. Then they had yellow ones, which I had never seen before. And red. So much red. Burgundy. Crimson. Cardinal. Rose. It was everywhere. Some with stems, some without. Some were from Washington or California or Texas or Pennsylvania. It was maddening.

Finally, I found her behind the Red Delicious.

The woman was seated on the tiled floor, with her legs crossed, picking over an apple. I watched her for a second. She didn't look stressed or scared at all. She inspected the fruit in her hand and then sniffed it, taking a small bite. Some juice fell onto her shirt, and she scowled, throwing the apple aside.

Another group of fruit caught her eye. She reached and picked a green one, but from the bottom. The whole bushel tumbled silently. She covered herself as they fell over and pelted her. They rolled across the floor in all directions. It was honestly the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"I don't even like apples." She bit her lip and crossed her arms.

She looked okay — no noticeable bruises or scratches and thankfully, no bullet wounds. I almost didn't want to disturb her.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" I whispered.

She whipped her head around, and her eyes grew, "Yes?"

"My name is Natasha, and I'm here to get you out of here," I said flatly.

"Hi...I'm..." She winced in pain slightly before she could speak, her hand on her bulging belly.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I asked worriedly.

"No." She sniffled and cried, "I'm fine."

"What is it?"

"I think...I'm in labor." She looked down at her sweatpants only to see a wet blotch near her thighs.

You've got to be kidding me...

I grabbed her hand and gently set her down on the floor, "It's gonna be alright, okay? Just take deep breaths."

She nodded, sadly smiling. "I don't want to have this baby alone." she sighed softly.

"You won't," I grabbed her hand and nodded curtly. "I promise."

We stopped breathing when we heard a bushel of apples roll towards us. I looked up and saw the gunman behind a small farm cart with large wheels. It was another display type of thing. He didn't see us yet. I softly pushed the woman under it, and then put my back against the far side of the cart.

I put my finger over my lips to tell her to try to be quiet. She looked so scared, but I knew it wasn't for her. It was for her child.

I waited, barely breathing.

The gunman rounded the cart and pointed his gun at me. "There you are."

"You caught me." I didn't bother fighting. I didn't want bullets flying with the woman so close.

"You were stupid, coming in here."

"You were stupid, holding up a grocery store. Do you think you'll get out of here alive? Police are everywhere."

"I don't care." He took off his ski mask to reveal his face. He wasn't anything special, and I was sure his name was 'Mike' or 'Norman.' Something unimpressive like blue eyes held a certain sense of crazy to them that didn't make me feel comfortable. This man wasn't stable.

"I know who you are." He raised his gun onto his shoulder. "You're that Black Widow chick. The Avenger."

"Yeah, that's me."

"You don't look so scary." He darkly laughed. "I've read the reports on you. You're supposed to be some heartless killer."

"I've had my moments, but that's in the past."

"Do you want to kill me now?"

"If I wanted to, I would've done it already. I'll let the police handle you. I want people safe."

"How about an exchange? I'll stay here, and you let the pregnant woman walk free." I enticed his greedy nature.

He thought it over for a couple of seconds. His eyebrows raised. "Well, isn't this my lucky day. The famous Black Widow under my thumb."

It all happened so quickly; I almost didn't even see it.

Two broadened arms surrounded his neck, squeezing tightly in the process. He struggled against the man's hold, but it was just futile. His grip just got tighter as he lifted him off the ground. After a few seconds, the man fell unconscious onto the cold floor.

My eyes slowly averted up to a sight that nearly stopped my heart. He bent down and dismantled the gun quickly before throwing it back down. His eyes reached mine, and a sad smile reached his lips.

"Hey, Nat."

With as much strength as I could muster, I whispered, "Hi, Steve." 


	3. III.

_Natasha's POV  
_ _"I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be." — Nicholas Sparks_

* * *

Two years, four months, eighteen days, ten hours. That's how long it's been since I've seen Steve.

If had known that I would come face to face with a blast from my past, I probably would've stayed at that hellhole they call a hotel.

But here he was, bringing back memories that I've tried desperately to run away from for the past two years.

Even now, he was… God, he was still perfect. My gaze traced along his face, remembering a pair of blue eyes that would make me weak in the knees every time I saw them- they were lonelier now, shaded. His strong, jawline, his clean shaved face, firm perfect lips.

I gave myself a hard mental shake, reigning in rampant thoughts when I heard the woman's raspy voice suddenly filled the tension that was present, "Uhh, Ms. Natasha?"

My eyes averted away from Steve quickly, and my attention shifted to the woman on the floor, "Oh...uh...let's get you out of here."

Steve cleared his throat before walking to the cash register and flipping the switch under the counter for the microphone," Everyone, the hostiles have been taken care of. You're safe now."

A sigh of relief was heard throughout the building, and the police busted through the sliding doors like they were the fucking cavalry. Disgraceful.

I led the woman outside and finally felt like I could breathe. She was free. Everyone was open, and I could care less about what was going on inside or who was getting arrested.

I turned my head when I felt a medic was pulling her towards an ambulance.

"Let me go!" She yelled.

"You need to be checked over. You could be hurt," he informed her.

"You didn't care about that a couple of hours ago!" She hissed.

"Easy, deep breaths." I wrapped an arm around her, and the doctor loosened his grasp.

"It's protocol. I have to check all the hostages. They can't leave until I give the order."

"She said to give her some space!" I yelled at her.

"Natasha, stop." Steve was there to push me back. "He's just doing his job. Everything's fine."

"She needs to get to a hospital; she's in labor!"

I led her to the back of the ambulance and grabbed the driver by the collar of his shirt, "I don't give a fuck about what anyone tells you, you get this woman to the hospital immediately."

He gulped but nodded quickly.

I went to the back of the truck and smiled softly at the woman as she continued to take deep breaths.

"Thank you. For everything, you have done, Natasha." She smiled back.

"Don't you worry about anything. Just be the best mother I know you can be to that child."

"I will. Thank you," She said again. I closed the double doors, gave it three taps, and it led her the rest of the way.

I flinched when I heard Steve's soft voice, "You're shot."

"What?"

"You've been shot." He pointed to my left shoulder. My shirt was ripped open, and a chunk of skin was missing. It looked through-and-through.

"Seems that way." I hadn't even felt it.

"May I?" He asked as his hands were on the hem of my vest.

I nodded curtly, not knowing what to say to him.

His fingers began taking apart my vest, and he pulled it from my body. "You could have been killed."

"Don't. I had everything under control."

"Sure, you did." Steve walked over the medic's truck, and he shouted at him the entire time he was digging through his supplies. He came back with a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"What are you doing here," I asked him a little harshly.

"Heard on the news there was a madwoman trying to fight off armed hostiles in a grocery. Figured I come stop by." He joked, despite my tone.

"Spying on me?"

He pulled off my shirt over my head. I felt the twinge of pain as I lifted my arms. "Never lost of track of you, just decided to keep my distance out of respect for you."

"Chivalrous as always." I huffed.

"You can't be mad at me for helping you."

"I'm not. I'm grateful, but as I said, I had it under control."

"Tell that to the bullet wound."

"I've dealt with worse pain." His fingers froze slightly at that jab, and I was wondering if I should take it back. But his hands continued to move, and it was quickly forgotten.

"You can't keep doing things like this. Next time, we won't be so lucky." He told me.

"I know."

"It's good to see you again," Steve murmured, his voice running along my shoulder blade while giving me familiar chills. "You look beautiful."

"Steve, I..." I searched for the right words to fend him off, to tell the ghosts of my past to go blow it out an exhaust pipe, but the words didn't come. "Are you almost done?" I asked briskly.

"Yeah," He whispered.

"Steve, I don't know what this is about, you being here and all, but I'm not getting mixed up in all this again. I...I can't. Okay?" My body shook softly at the thought of going through that again.

"I know, Nat.."

A moment of silence emerged before I spoke, "You won't be here long, will you?" I flinched slightly when I heard the slight twinge of desperation tint my voice.

Steve looked at me for a moment before grabbing a crate and moving it in front of me, "Talk to me."

"Steve," I sighed. "I can't. Please."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Why do you keep pushing me away?"

Because I might spontaneously combust if I don't? Because I don't think I could take your hand on my skin without pressing my lips to yours? Because I don't want to invest in something that I know will hurt me? All excellent reasons, in my opinion, but Steve quickly drew to different conclusions as I kept my silence.

A slight frown marred his face. "It's about what happened that night, isn't it?" he asked quietly.

Unconsciously, my hand drifted down and started rubbing circles over my now flat stomach.

_Steve came to a stop in front of our little girl and me. His fingers trembled as he drew his fingers down her face. When she was born, the baby's cheeks had been full and pink. Now her skin was a bloodless, sickly pale. Her lips were tinged blue and chapped. Her beautiful blond curls lay, like the rest of her, limp and lifeless._

_I rested my hand on top of Steve's as I wept, though not uncontrollably. The pain was unfathomable. I couldn't understand how I could live through it._

_"Annabelle?" The word came out like gravel as it left Steve's lips. Steve pressed them together hard to control the tremble before clearing his throat."It's OK, baby girl." He ran his fingers through our daughter's golden curls. "It's alright."_

_"You don't have to be scared, sweetheart. You're so brave. You're the bravest little girl I've ever met. You've fought so hard for a long time, and I'm so proud of you. Mommy and I are so very proud of you."_

_Steve took another breath. He drew a trembling finger over her cheek. "It's time to rest now, baby. It's going to be okay. Me and Mommy…" His voice broke, and he sniffed. "Your mommy and I are going to be okay. You don't have to worry about us."_

_"My little girl," I managed to croak out. I dipped my head with a cry and kissed her crown._

_"You're okay now, baby." Steve's voice was thin and broken as his embrace around us grew tighter. "You're free."_

_He turned his face into my hair and sobbed, finally breaking down. The pain of loss was going to kill us. Surely it was going to kill us._

_It didn't. It just stretched on endlessly._

A tear slipped down my cheek, and I wiped it away angrily. I promised myself that I wasn't going to cry anymore over this.

My baby was gone. I had never been allowed to see my baby girl open her eyes and smile at me for the first time, and it felt like a piece of me would forever be missing. I cried for days and wouldn't even eat, because I didn't feel like I should. No one could explain it to me. The doctor told me, "These things are rare, but they just happen."

Maybe it was stress or from me not taking care of myself? I didn't know, but it still hurt every time I even thought about my lost child. Although, I was sure some women have had it worse than me, so I tried to put it in perspective. It had taken me a very long time and many late nights of thinking to understand bad things happen to good people finally.

The worse night of my life will always be in my mind. My baby girl, dying before she could even get a taste of life. Yeah, that day probably was a big part of why I wouldn't let him touch me; I made a decision and still hadn't quite gotten over it.

A physical tightness erupted in my chest, and I finally found my voice, "Yeah, it has a lot to do with that night."

He slipped his hands into mine, and I flinched slightly at the contact. "It wasn't your fault."

"It is."

"There was nothing you could have done." Steve reasoned.

"I had one job," My voice croaked a little, "I had one job, and that was to bring my baby girl into this world. And I failed her."

"No you didn't, you've got stop blaming yourself for that."

"I did fail her," My eyes averted to his, and I squeezed his hand, "And I failed you."

He looked away from me, and his jaw went rigid, "Is that why you left me without saying a word?"

"Steve..."

"No, it's alright. I'm sorry." He closed his eyes tightly and held my hand to his chest.

"I'm here now," I whispered. His body tensed, but he said nothing. He turned to me with a weak smile playing on his lips as he enveloped me in his arms. A long, shuddering breath rattled from my lips as a familiar sensation took over me. Standing there, like we were, we just… fit. We always did.

His lips lowered to the crown of my head, brushing the tangled hair there. "You're here now." His arms tightened a fraction when I wrapped my arms around his waist, on the verge of tears, "You're here."

I pressed my cheek to his heart, feeling the steady beat, breathing in his warm scent.

"I missed you," I whispered almost breathlessly, reveling in the feeling of having strong arms around her. This was new and different, yet old and familiar. God, I missed the excitement. "I missed you. A lot," I breathed into his t-shirt, my lips moving gently against the worn cotton.

"I missed you, too. A lot," Steve replied earnestly.

I allowed myself to smile, hugging him a little tighter. Just then, when he'd spoken, the good memories flooded back. I leaned back, taking in his face, guarded and sincere. So handsome.

Instinctively, my hands tangled to his blonde hair, and my lips met his. Acting on memory alone, Steve's arms wrapped around my waist and held me close in his arms.

It only took a second for him to invade my senses. His smell, the way his lips tasted sweet on mine, his mere presence – a presence I associated with comfort and happiness – had a small part of me wanting more.

And another small part of me wanted to feel him again, to claim his as mine once again.

It only took a moment for him to relax as his soft lips molded to mine. I felt the hand that was on my neck cup my face, his fingers now intertwined in my hair, while the other held on to mine. I could feel his hot breath on my lips as he pulled away for a fraction of a second before recapturing my mouth with a need, an intensity that startled me.

"Steve?" A voice interrupted us, causing me to pull away quickly hide my face in his chest.

Steve chuckled a little before slowly loosening his grasp on my hips, "Sharon, it's been too long."

I turned my head slightly to see a dried look on her face, but she quickly fixed it and nodded curtly to him, "It's good to see you too."

"I just came to get a report out of you two." Sharon looked at me with a hint of slight jealousy in her eyes that she tried her best to hide.

"No need," I grabbed my shirt and jacket before throwing it back over my grey tank top. "I was just leaving."

"Wait," Steve caught my arm before I could leave and held it firmly, "Don't go."

"Steve..."

"Have lunch with me."

"What?"

"Have lunch with me," He repeated, a little slower this time. "I...I don't want you to leave yet."

I looked down at myself-brown leather jacket, grubby t-shirt, ripped jeans. "I'm not exactly dressed for the occasion."

He chuckled slightly and brushed his thumb over my knuckles, "Don't worry about that; you look perfect."

"Ever the flatterer," I rolled my eyes, taking in his words. I searched the sincerity in his eyes and found that he honestly wanted me there. He missed me, and God knows I've lost him too.

"Just for lunch," I said sternly, and he nodded in understanding.

"Wait, you two can't leave. I need statements."

"Call me in the morning to set up a meeting. I'll be late." Steve said professionally before turning his head back to me. "My bike's over there."

I nodded stiffly, "OK, let's go."

* * *

The restaurant was a decent place, not too classy yet just perfect. When we walked in, an elderly man standing at the front was waiting with a broad smile on his lips,  _"Steven, Che_  sorpresa _."_

Steve immediately smiled back as the man greeted him with a very Italian, very enthusiastic kiss on the cheek and tight hug, "Francis, it's good to see you."

"A pleasure to see you again, my friend." His eyes met mine and moved onto me with the same enthusiasm. He was speaking so fast that I barely caught any of it.

"What's he saying?" I whispered to Steve.

Steve's smile saddened a little, "He said you're the most beautiful woman he's seen come in here since his wife."

"Isn't he sweet?"

Steve composed himself, and his smile returned, "He's good people."

Francis then looked at me with newfound curiosity, and he gasped slightly, " _Lei è_ l'unica _?_ "

Steve's body shook a little, but he hid it well, " _Si_ '"

"I understand, my friend," He looked down at his notepad and jotted a few things down before gazing back up, "Enjoy your meal, Amico'."

" _Grazie' Francis_."

Steve pushed me more inside before I could react, "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," Steve said sharply.

The booth Steve had squirreled for us was thankfully out of direct view from most of the patrons enjoying lunch for the day. A small blessing. The way he had trotted into the restaurant and whispered a few words to Francis' told me volumes about how many times Steve had requested this out-of-the-way booth to hide. I couldn't decide if I was grateful or made a little anxious by the gesture.

The whole situation was making me a little anxious. So anxious I didn't even remember what she'd ordered when a smartly dressed waiter had wandered by to take our orders. I remembered the warm smile the young man had plastered on his face, and the wink he'd thrown my way, which had briefly put Steve into a grumpy mood. Other than offering Steve a smile and nudging him with my foot to cheer him up, I remembered nothing else. The smooth jazz playing from the live band situated on the far side of the elegant room did little to soothe my shot nerves. My heart didn't seem to want to calm down.

The return of our waiter prompted me to perk up, watching as he presented us with the beers that Steve had requested- something Italian was as much as I understood of it. "Chateau d ' Ampuis Syrah 2000 France" it was called. Two glasses were poured, one for me, one for Steve, and then the bottle was left for us.

"Go on, it's fine," Steve encouraged, taking a pull from his beer.

"I'm fine."

"You earned it," Steve assured, reaching across the table to nudge my bottle closer to my hand.

A wry smile crossed my lips as I looked into those innocent blue eyes watching me. "You're just trying to get me drunk, so you can have your way with me later," I teased, finally giving in to having a sip. It was relaxing.

Steve smiled a little, drawing back. "You know me better than that, Nat."

"I sure do," I replied, laughing a little.

Steve's smile was sincere as he grinned at me, settling into his seat. "I've missed that smile."

I gazed at him, and I cleared my throat quickly, "So, what have you been up to?"

I was curious that much I could admit, but the guarded look that shadowed his eyes the instant I made the suggestion bothered me a little.

"It's a mood killer," he pointed out, taking another pull from his beer.

"Come on, how bad could it be?"

He shrugged, leaning back into his seat. "It's about as good as it can get when your entire world goes into shit. "

"How about you leave out the gritty details and just tell me how you ended up meeting Francis over there?"

Steve seemed marginally comforted by the offer, nodding. "Francis is good people."

"I've noticed," I said with the right amount of sarcasm to earn me a slight grin.

"You know what I mean," He reprimanded lightly. "I… You know I was in a bad place at the time."

Unfortunately, I did know.

"After you left when..." Steve choked up a little before taking a determined gulp of his beer. "I was down bad. Caught me in a rough patch and he was there for me. Got me back on my feet."

"What do you mean?"

He opened his mouth before closing it again, thinking about what to say next, "Let's just say I wasn't myself that night."

We paused as our food arrived, chicken marsala for me and a delicious looking chicken parmigiana for Steve. There were complimentary breadsticks and salad, but I was in no mood for it. I was starving.

The first bite had me groaning in appreciation, making me Steve smile a little," Good right?"

"Delicious," I moaned a little. "Alright, enough of the food orgasms, you still have a story to tell," I reminded.

"It's not something I like to remember, Nat. "

"That bad?"

He looked at me with a hint of pain in his eyes, and I knew that look all too well, "Yeah, that bad."

"Steve..."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Enough about me, how have you been?"

I froze slightly but kept my gaze on him. "I've been hanging in there."

Steve nodded curtly, knowing that I couldn't speak on how I was truly feeling, "Ok."

To change the conversation, I said, "Have you been in contact with others?"

He snorted as he took a pull of his drink, "Hardly. Thor's been searching for that bastard that did all of this for a while now, and I haven't heard from him since we left Wakanda. I saw Rhodey a couple of weeks ago at a press conference, but the others have gone m.i.a."

"Oh..." was all I could get out.

Feeling a little put out now, I reached for my beer bottle and finished its contents, and then went for the bottle for a refill and drank most of that too. I dug into my food as well, eating in silence so that I didn't have to ask anything else pathetic to Steve. I had already put him through so much, and I hated that I was already reopening old wounds.

"Steve, I'm..."

"Don't," He sniped at me, "It won't change anything."

"I still feel like I have to," I pressed. "I haven't forgiven myself for what I did and I..."

"Nat, I said, don't." He interrupted me again, "I get it, alright? You're sorry."

I nodded curtly and went back to eating. I eyed my food, then glanced back up at Steve. Our meal was quickly drawing to a close, but for some reason, I was reluctant to leave. It wasn't that my body still wanted to feel what it would be like to be wrapped around that little body Steve had grown into. It was something more. Although, I wouldn't exactly mind being wrapped around him... There was an old throb rearing in my heart of something like companionship, the feeling of not being alone and feeling safe with someone.

Steve seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because he suddenly stood from his seat and went to my side, extending a hand to me. "Dance with me?" he asked. He didn't want the evening to end, either.

"Dance? Steve, I-."

"Nat," He gave me a longing look and held his hand out to me, "Dance with me."

A feeling washed over me, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but it was powerful. He was asking me to give him something that he had lost a long time ago, and for once, I could give it to him.

"OK," he led me out of my seat before wrapping his arms around my waist and held me close.

"Thank you, Nat" Steve murmured into my hair, pressing his nose to the crook of my neck.

Slowly, my body stopped resisting him altogether, my arms coming up to wrap around his neck, pulling myself close to him. "No problem."

We swayed together to the rhythm of the music, oblivious to when Francis came to collect out dishes and murmured that he was going to put the bill on Steve's tab, utterly unaware of when other couples decided to follow our lead to dance. The music changed to match the morphing atmosphere, flowing melodies running together to form a cocoon of soft music that stopped time altogether.

Resting my cheek against the worn cotton of Steve's t-shirt, I was soothed by the steady beat of his heart beneath. I was lightheaded, but not from the beer. Just as it had been earlier, our bodies just seemed to fit together. Everything just seemed right. My arms tightened fractionally, pressing closer, not wanting to dream to end.

Steve slid a hand to mines and clasped onto it tightly. He made my heart beat a little faster, made me feel warm and protective... and like I was home again.

How did I go from waking up in the morning not caring whether I lived or not to want to live another day so badly my heart ached?

The answer, if there was one, never got the chance to form, because before I knew it, my fingers were suddenly sliding up the back of his neck, into his hair, and guiding his mouth down to mines. My lips moved against his in a velvet dance. It wasn't demanding or hungry, just kissing him to explore the feelings that had been brewing between us. Heat. Wanting. Need. Desperation.

Steve tightened his arms around me, bending his head to enjoy the kiss better. My fingers in his hair tangled further, allowing him to delve further. We tasted each other, exploring intimately, still slowly swaying to the music we scarcely heard anymore. And then I was drawing away, taking in a shaking breath, never stepping out of the circle of Steve's arms, but far enough away so that we weren't sharing the same inspiration anymore.

"I'm not going home tonight, am I?" she whispered.

Steve kissed me again, touching his lips to mines before looking at me innocent eyes. "Not if you don't want to."

"I…" I paused, chewing on my bottom lip. What happened to all my claims of not be able to get involved with him anymore? I couldn't handle any more of the pain that was still impaled in me. Searching his gaze, though, I knew I'd never been able to get past this night without having him. Maybe just once would be enough. Get it out of my system once and for all and then go home. The hand that rested on Steve's shoulder tightened in his shirt. "Let's get out of here."

"Of course."


	4. IV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Book cover on Prologue.

_Natasha's POV_  
"The best people all have some scar."   
_— Kiera Cass_

* * *

_"You can do it, Natasha," I told myself, contemplating whether I should go in or not.  
_

_I haven't been in this the room since... my pregnancy._

_The floorboards creak as I push open on the door. The room is silent. Still. The air is stale, and a thick blanket of dust covers any exposed surface. I see the name "Annabelle" on the wall, above the crib. I expected to get a flood of emotions, but I remained numb as I crept forward._

_In the crib was an antique teddy bear, sitting there alone without... I snagged the bear and threw it at the pink wall, and The limp bear falls onto the floor, and something inside of me snaps as I wipe a tear away with the back of my hand._

_The world was already in shit after what happened ten months ago, the last thing they needed was to hear me bitch about my problems. But I couldn't help it._

_My daughter, my sweet baby girl, gone, and it was all because I couldn't do my job and bring her here safely. Steve said it was alright that it wasn't my_   _fault. But the look of hurt in his eyes made me think he believed differently. While he didn't blame me, the fact that I couldn't give him the one thing he wanted only made me feel horrible. Some nights, when he thought I was sleeping, he would place his hand on my stomach. The pang in my chest and longing was evident in both of us. Steve was always worried about me. And even though I told him not to, he did._

_I don't deserve him, not for one second. I feel like I can't please him. No matter how hard I try, nothing will ever be enough. Steve has given me nearly everything I've ever asked for. And the one thing he wanted the most, I couldn't provide. I not only felt like a terrible person, but I also felt like half of a woman. Steve's never told me these things, but I've always wondered if he thought the same._

_And now, here I was, sobbing in this empty nursery with broken hopes and dreams…it's the icing on the cake._

_In the spur of the moment, I flipped over the toy chest, and the brand new toys spill out. I turn to the mobile, dangling from the ceiling. I tore it down hastily and threw them on the ground. I hear Steve's footsteps in the hallway, but it didn't stop my rampage._

_"Natasha, stop!" He yells as he reaches out and pulls me back with his strong arms._

_I wriggle under his grasp, and he yells again. "Natasha, baby, you have to stop."_

_"No!" I yelled, still trying to get out of his grip._

_"Sweetheart, you have to stop!" I stop fighting as an eerie chill settles between us._

_"No..." I sink to the floor, sobbing in tears._

_"It's alright honey….." He whispers as he pulls me into his arms and runs his hand through my hair in a soothing motion. "It's alright."_

_After a moment of silence, Steve lifted me off the ground with ease and carried me to the bedroom right next to us and laid us on the leather couch for a more comfortable position._

_"Why?" I whispered, "Why her?"_

_"I don't know. Maybe... maybe she couldn't stay." He sighed, nearly choking on his words. "And then... you know, next time..."_

_"Steve," I hummed, interrupting him. "I really can't hear that right now."_

_His hands run up and down my back once again in a soothing motion to calm my nerves, "You can't be afraid of that. We're going to have another; we're going to have another child. And it's not going to be to replace Annabelle because that's impossible. She's our firstborn, and we're always, always gonna remember her."_

_I reach for his hand and clasp onto it tightly, "I'm just glad that I have you."_

_"You'll always have me, Nat. Always." He bends down and presses a small kiss on the crown of my head. "I love you."_

_"I love you."_

* * *

My attention was suddenly jerked back to the present by a soft voice in my ear. "Hey, beautiful."

I jumped and then managed a shaky smile. "Hey."

Unable to resist the newfound intimacy between us in light of the dance we'd shared moments before, Steve slid his body behind mines, wrapping his arms around me and laying his chin to my shoulder. He was warm, and he smelled of all the things that made me think of home. Maybe because... he was home. After a moment's hesitation, I leaned back against his body and let him support me, shivering every time his breath ghosted over my exposed shoulder.

"I'm glad you decided to stay," he said softly into my ear. The sincerity of his voice made my heart melt.

"I…"  _I'm probably going to regret this in the morning and for the rest of my life_ , I thought miserably, but the look on Steve's face as he held me and nuzzled into my hair managed to brush the thought away. "I'm glad too." I couldn't decide if I was lying or not.

"God, I need you." He whispered, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. He'd meant those words. He indeed said the words with all his heart. I heard the sincerity in his voice. And it scared the shit out of me. This was supposed to be my one night of supreme stupidity, where I appeased the vices of lust and greed. I was supposed to be fucking him senseless until he was finally out of my system. And then he just had to go and make it sound like he needed me again.

Sincerely needed me. Not just physically. Just me.

"Nat-?" His dark gaze was searching mines, as his hands rose to cup my shoulders, holding me steady even while my body quivered.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself. "Just tonight," I managed to say, flinching at the flatness of my tone. I looked at him, and my eyes begged him to understand. It killed me to see the look of hurt that flashed across his face before he hid it behind a well-placed mask.

"Are you sure? If you don't want to do this, it's fine. Nobody has to change," he murmured, brushing a kiss along my jaw.

I shook my head softly, "I don't want to leave just yet."

"Then what-?"

"Steve," I said, cutting him off. I met his gaze and saw a flicker of flame in them. "I want this."

" Natasha..."

"Come here." I leaned in and kissed him. If a kiss could feel anything like coming home, this one did. Maybe because he was back, and he always will be. He knew innately what I needed.

This kiss was much like the one we shared in the restaurant, not chaste, but not hungry either. We were kissing. By some gravitational pull, I found my body migrating closer to Steve's, leaning into his body with such a feeling of comfort that it made my knees want to give out. My arms weaved around his neck, one hand spearing through his short hair to tug his head a certain way, allowing our mouths to fit together better.

Tentatively, Steve dared to reach out, weaving his arms around my waist. When I didn't resist, he drew me even closer. His mouth was perfect. Just like his body. Just like everything about him. I loved his mouth and the way it tasted, the way it fit so perfectly with mines. He sighed into the kiss, smiling contentedly. A tongue darted out to play on my lips, inviting me to come and play. I obliged immediately, opening me to his warm, wet caresses, and returning them in kind.

Unable to keep me still any longer, the hand tangled in Steve's hair migrated to the nape of his neck and pressed his mouth closer. My other hand traveled up to explore his body through his shirt, feeling the hard planes and hollows of his broadened chest and belly. He gripped my thighs with firm hands and hosted me up, making me wrap my legs around his waist. I don't know how, but we ended landing on the leather couch right behind Steve, and I was flat on his lap.

I leaned in and captured his mouth again, shifting my body to straddle him. My hands cradled his face, keeping him close. Steve groaned as he skimmed my ribs, tracing my back, and when I moved against him, tightening the grip of my thighs, he let his hands drop to my ass and thrust me forward, against his burgeoning erection. We both gasped, thrilled by the sensation that shot through us.

I broke away from the kiss, gasping and clutching to Steve as he was quick to move in and press his mouth to my pulse, suckling there until he knew he'd left a mark. He let his hands roam free, straying upwards under my tank until they brushed my bra-clad breasts. With the offer on the table now, my shirt was off in a matter of seconds, followed closely by my bra- which ended up flung to the far end of the room. I didn't shy away from his gaze, letting him look his fill until his calloused hands circled my back and drew me up, his hot mouth bending to my right breast.

"God I missed you, Natasha," he said, pressing a kiss to the navel of my breasts.

"I know, I missed you too," I replied, finding that words were even more difficult to form than before.

"Then don't leave me again," Steve replied, his voice almost pleading against my flesh. I moaned, clutching him closer. He rolled my nipple between his teeth and groaned when I unconsciously thrust against him. I was slowly coming undone in his hands.

My nails scored into his shoulders, earning a grunt from him. Even as my hands moved down his back and gripped the flesh there, clawing at the hard planes of muscle, it only served to urge him on. He switched to my left breast, letting his hand keep up his ministrations to the right.

"Oh, God, Steve!" My eyes were shut tight; head lolled back. Everything was focused now on sensation- on Steve's mouth nipping and sucking and teasing. From that alone, I teetered on edge. Something deep, primal, powerful was coiling inside me, more significant than anything I'd ever experienced before. Deep down, building like an inferno in my belly, tingling desperation spreading through my limbs, I was reaching for something fluttering just beyond my fingertips.

Nothing had ever felt more real than now. I've missed this...

My hands were already at the hem of his shirt, tugging it upwards. His hands clasped onto mines tightly, "Still shy?" I teased.

His eyes clouded for a bare moment, then shook his head. "Hardly."

I was quick to relieve him of his t-shirt, with minimal help from Steve. I knew why he was like this when it came to this point. Scars. I knew everyone that littered his flesh, every memory that he could remember, he told me. Despite it all, he was still beautiful to me. I touched the jagged line that traveled diagonally upwards from his right hip to just under his ribs, mirrored by two other tracks on either side, like a giant set of claws. A circular patch of skin no bigger than a small coin lay just above his heart, left in the wake of a laser rifle. Needle-thin lines cut over his abs, slicing through his pecs. An odd scar traced the circumference of his right shoulder as if someone had taken a scalpel and drew the line using the very tip of the blade.

His fingers traced my jawline lovingly, "Am I still beautiful to you?" He said jokingly, but I could tell deep down, he was serious.

"Always," I said seriously.

I couldn't think of anything else to say, so I placed my hands to his chest instead and kissed him as deeply and with as much heart as I could manage. I knew my message got through when a sigh passed Steve's lips, his body suddenly relaxed and pliant beneath me.

"I love you, Nat," he whispered against my mouth.

"I love you too," I whispered back.

He kissed me again, wrapping his arms around my body and bringing it down against his. I was more than happy to lie across him, grinding pelvis to pelvis. It was his turn to writhe beneath me. Our tongues clashed, curled, danced, fought; my hands moved with minds of their own, exploring the familiar plains of his body and discovering new terrain along with his cast of scars and compacted muscle. I let my hands trace down his body to the crotch of his jeans. He filled the palm of my hand and then some, thick and pulsing within the confines of his jeans. With practiced ease, I flicked the button loose from its hold and tugged down his zipper.

Rolling us both over, so he was on top once more, he shucked his jeans and let them fall wherever he threw them. His boxer-shorts went next with the same care given to his pants; gone in less than three seconds.

I couldn't help swallow hard, finding it a little difficult to look away from the man now looming over me. He wasn't the same man he was two years ago. He was still broken, lonely, and lost like me. But there was something about him that was jaded, and I can't explain it.

His hands were shaking slightly, and I reached for them, wrapping my fingers through his. I pulled him down on top of me, kissing him all the way. I felt his hardened manhood press up against my core. We stared into each other's eyes, and it was as if time stood still. Our eyes remained locked on one another's. I silently urged him to continue by thrusting my hips up to meet his stroke. He whispered, "Nat, I love you," and slowly eased himself into my core, up to the hilt.

I instantly cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. Steve groaned, breathing heavily in my ear. I shifted, taking him all in. I was the first to move, wrapping my arms around his neck for a little leverage before thrusting against him. His hands gripped my hips tightly and brought me down to meet his.

Things were unraveling in my brain. The reality was slowly becoming a little more distant with each panted gasp for air — the melded closer, flesh to flesh, with each thrust. A growling power rumbled deep in Steve's chest as he continued to move against me while I met each of his thrusts with my own. Our mouths clashed, hungry, and demanding. This was pure desperation, and I knew that. But I also didn't care.

_"Answer me, where is my daughter?"_

My eyes propped quickly, and I began to struggle to catch my breath.

No, not now. Please, not now.

_"She didn't make it..."_

Desperate to cling to some form of reality, to something stable, I desperately clutched myself to Steve's body as he rocked into me. A hiss escaped his lips as my nails scored down his back. He thrust against me harder, driving deeper while dragging his lips to the hollow of my neck. I allowed his dangerous possession of my body but clutched to the frayed edges of my soul before I could let it slip through my fingers. I couldn't let that part of me go free. I was too broken to give myself to him entirely again.

"Nat, Natasha, look at me," Steve said, his voice breathless and rough. My eyes snapped open, instantly realizing that tears had pooled in my eyes. "You're crying." He slowed his movements but did not stop completely, watching me with bright, concerned eyes.

"Steve, just-."

As if he could read my mind, he nodded against my cheek, kissing away a stray tear. "It's okay," he whispered the words like ghosts against my cheekbones. "Just let go, Nat. I won't hurt you." He kept my gaze as he continued the pace set between us. I wanted to say something more to him but found my words useless at this point. He moved deeply, stroking my core. I tightened around him, struggling to hold tight to the last frayed pieces of my soul.

"Just let go, Natasha. I'm not going anywhere," he assured.

A silent cry left my lips as I hit my climax, flung over the precipice mindlessly. My body enclosed around Steve's holding to him, rocking against him as if he were anchoring me to this world. In a way, he was. He was a constant reminder of the one thing that has impacted my life for the worst.

The seconds turned into minutes; the minutes turned into hours without a single word passing between us. It was when I felt Steve's chest rise and fall rhythmically, that I decided it was time for me to leave.

I rapidly climbed off of him and couldn't help but gaze at his body wrapped in the sheet when I stood up. He was incredible and even sleeping, he looked like a Greek god.

I pulled myself together and started picking up the clothes that were on the floor, putting them on hastily. A glance at the clock told me that it was four in the morning.

I gave him one last look and made a gamble, placing a soft kiss on his full lips before padding downstairs lightly, almost making no noise. I didn't know if I should leave a note of thank you or, but I decided to. I couldn't get more attached than I already was. This feeling I had for Steve was so strong that it was physically painful for me to leave, but I had to. I couldn't let myself destroy my emotions anymore.

I hated that I was doing this to him again. I was selfish, and I knew that deep down. He lost a child too, and here I was, pushing him away once again. But maybe this is what he needs from me. He deserved better, way better than what I could offer him.

If being selfish is what it takes to show him that, then so be it.


	5. V.

_Steve's POV_  
_"If you can't fly then_ run _if you can't run then walk if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward."_  
_— Martin Luther King, Jr._

* * *

 For the first time in nearly two years, I had slept.

I didn't even know what was going on in my subconscious the whole time my eyes were closed, but for some reason, my mind and body were both shut down at the same time. That never happened, and it certainly didn't happen anymore now that the world was still in hell. As my brain started to come back from a dream state that was so deep, I didn't see anything but black; I suddenly realized how much I had missed her.

It wasn't the first time we had done this, and yet it was enough to make me forget any pain or any idea of the outside world.

My body felt like it was still a parched man in the desert, and I could have drunk five gallons of water, but I was still able to feel the pain of a dry throat. I had to have more of her.

That being said, last night was one of the most sensual and...natural experiences of my life. 

She warned me; she tried to warn me. Of what, I wasn't sure, but she wanted me to know that she couldn't give me more than what was about to happen, but I didn't care. I loved her and wanted her more than anything.

And then I was shaken to my core by the most sexual adventure I had ever been on. It was everything I missed.

The way she said my name, the way her body looked while I was pounding into her, the way her eyes rolled back into her head because of me, the way she dug her nails into my shoulders, it was all driving me insane. She had disintegrated me to ash and to bury myself inside her was the most fulfilling feeling I had ever had.

I decided that it was time to make my body come back to life to start my day... with Nat.

I started with my feet and after what felt like years, felt electricity through the rest of my body. I had never slept so well in my entire life, and I didn't even know why. It was like I was dead.

I raised my hand to my face and wiped my eyes. My neck had a crick in it, and my entire spine finally felt set in the correct position after all these years. I didn't know how long I slept, but I figured it was a couple more hours than I was used to getting.

I was finally able to open my eyes and turned my head to the left and felt the bones crack as I readjusted myself. Last I remembered, Natasha's naked body was on top of mine as we went to sleep and I wasn't complaining at all. She was soft, molding to my body from the first time we touched.

My eyes squinted in the light that was trying to peek through the curtains, and I decided to see the digital clock on my bedside table. Once my eyes adjusted, I almost sat straight up in bed when I saw that it read noon.

"Are you serious?" I muttered and swung my legs over the side, my head spinning from the quick change of position.

I never slept this late, ever, and if I weren't so mad at myself, I would have revealed in the fact that I had probably slept a good eight hours. I would have to tell my therapist the excellent news.

I suddenly remembered that I wasn't the only one in the apartment, or so I thought.

I let my hearing travel out to see if Natasha was still here. Nothing.

I was out of bed and stumbled a little but was able to correct myself quickly. I walked around the room, not caring that I wasn't clothed and was surprised when I didn't step over anything. All of my clothes were neatly folded on the chair near the door, but I suspected that Natasha's would be around here somewhere. My floors were clean of any scrap of clothing.

I went to the bathroom and knocked on the door but got no reply.

I pulled on a pair of boxers out of my drawer and then went downstairs, trying to find any trace of Natasha.

I quickly found out that she was gone, disappeared like a thief. There was no trace of her: no letter, no note, no call, no message. If I didn't know any better, I would have said that I spent a night alone with nothing but my TV, but I knew the truth.

Where the hell was she, she couldn't have just left without a...goodbye.

I sighed when I saw that there indeed was a note on the counter.

Without picking it up, I let my eyes glaze over it.

_Steve,_

_By the time you get this, I'll be gone._

_I don't want you to regret this, Steve. This was my choice and mines alone. I'd say I wish it could be different, but I don't. This is the only way for me. This is fate. I want it could be different for us... but I know that's not possible. I know that I'll probably never get to speak to you again. That's why I had to write. I have to lay it all out on the table, to offer you what little I can. I have to get it all out now, while I still have the chance. You'll probably throw it away unread._

_I love you. Desperately, insanely, unequivocally, eternally. And I know that hurts, but it's essential. You need to understand that Steve, for me. I can't live without her. Physically can't. You of all people should know that... but that's not even all of it. Because I know that if I were to choose differently, to be with you and live our lives, Annabelle would always be in the back of my mind no matter how much I try to forget. And the thought of that, of her not existing anymore still hurts and is the worst kind of pain imaginable. It's indescribable. I can't let her go, and I'm sorry._

_I wish I could leave it like that. I want it could all be summed up just like that, and I could sign my name and seal this up. Simple. Except it's not simple. It's never been straightforward with us, has it? It's funny, and I used to think you were the simplest thing in my life. It was easy to be with you. Natural. I guess that should have tipped me off... you can't blame me for not noticing. I've only been in love once, and I'm sorry. Because I do love you, Steve. And there's a part of me that will always love you, that will always be suffering because I can't have you, and because of the pain, I've caused you. I know that's not fair, but it's the truth. It's the best I can offer at this point._

_I want you to forget about me. Not for me - I'm terrified by the very idea of it. It kills me. But that pain is outweighed by my desperate desire for you to be happy. God, I want it so bad. Because there's hope for you, I know there is. There's someone out there who can love you the way you deserve... the way I'm too weak to. And you're going to meet her one of these days, and your whole existence is going to change. It's the one thing I want. The last word. Think of it as my last wish, if you wish. Just promise to do that for me, Steve. Promise to forget me._

_And I promise not to forget you or our beautiful baby girl we made together. I'll treasure that, for the rest of my life, from now until I die, I will never, ever forget you. I love you, Steve. Go live your life._

_Nat._

I sat on my couch in my boxers and drank bourbon from the bottle as I watched the sunrise over the city.

It had been three hours since I woke up and I was thinking about finding Natasha to vent my anger. I painfully took another drink of bourbon that I wasn't even feeling and thought about how fucked up Natasha just left me. As much as I thought about it, the more I realized how right she was.

I couldn't be mad at Natasha, and it wasn't like she was a monster. I understood where she was coming from, more than anyone. But why, why does she have to keep pushing me away instead of mourning the loss of our daughter together? It didn't make sense, and yet, neither did Natasha and I.

"Why can't you just move on Rogers?" I ran my hand over my eyes and sat the bottle down on the glass table in front of me.

There was a knock on the door that could have been an oil drill in my head.

I jumped up so high off the sofa, and I nearly flew through the air.

"Steven..." I heard Francis's voice from the other side of the door, "I've come with groceries, my friend."

I went to open the door where he stood, the perfect look of 1950s cookbook, complete with a smile and a neatly pressed suit. He had a casserole dish along with her cheery disposition.

"Put some clothes on, Steven. We have to leave in a little while." He hit the back of my head and walked in.

I shut the door and went upstairs. I dressed in a simple pair of black jeans and a white V neck t-shirt.

I was downstairs ten minutes later with to see Francis going through my non-existent stash of food.

"Steven, I'm starting to worry. I don't know if you eat or not." He poked through my naked refrigerator.

"I'm fine, Francis." I sat in the bar stool.

"You're not fine." He looked me over, "You're skin and bones."

In his presence, I felt like a child, and all I could do was sit while he went on.

"So," He went to go heat up whatever

he brought in, "I assume you got what you were bargaining for with Ms. Natasha?"

"I guess you can say that." I sighed.

"Want to talk about it, Amico'?" He raised an eyebrow.

I ran my hands through my hair, "Not really."

"Well, maybe you should talk about at the Circle," He shrugged, "You never tell anyone anything. Besides, you seemed different from being with her."

"Different?"

"More docile and I saw you smile yesterday."

"I always smile."

"No, really smile." He corrected me, "That was the most real smile I've ever seen on your face."

"If you say so." I shrugged completely lying.

"How long have you been seeing her?" Francis asked.

"We...It's complicated."

"Is she coming back?"

"I don't know if I'll see her again." I ran my hands through my hair again, "It's too much for her."

Francis got up from his seat, took my plate to the sink, and then came back to stand next to me.

"Cosa c'è di sbagliato?" He asked.

What's wrong?

"Non lo so," I answered.

I don't know.

I could feel the crooked smile of Francis without even looking at him

"She's the one."

"It doesn't matter if she is; she doesn't want a life with me. Not after..." I raised my head, stopping myself from going any further.

"Ah, I see," He tapped his fingers on the marble countertop, "There's more than what meets the eye."

"I can't deal with this." I stammered.

"Well, my friend. You will have to learn how to live a life without her."

That was all he said before he flitted around the kitchen, cleaning the already immaculate space.

"But I can't."

After Francis left, I was immediately hit with a wave of drowsiness and opted for a nap on the couch.

I couldn't feel anything, and I was in this weird dream state for a very long time, but it was hard to tell if it was real or not. All I know is that I dreamed of the ocean. I would look up what that meant later.

By the time I opened my eyes again, it was dark outside. The sun was completely gone, and the house was shrouded in darkness to the point that I couldn't see the ceiling above me.

My head was pounding, and I sat up slowly, so I didn't get sick from the change of direction. There was a throbbing in my lower leg, and it took me a while to remember why it was acting that way. My mouth tasted like shit and was fuzzy from my long nap. I bet I looked like hell.

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to smooth it out and then pushed myself up from the sofa. I limped into the kitchen and turned on the lights. The clock said eleven-thirty, and I cursed myself for almost sleeping the day away. I rubbed my forehead and sought out my bottle of pills. I took two more and then threw the bottle away. If they were around, I knew I would keep taking them until they were gone. I didn't need the temptation.

"Great," I muttered and checked the clock. It was now eleven-forty.

I washed my mouth out with water to chase the nasty taste away and threw back on my white t-shirt so that I had some form of coverage.

I figured that there was no point in me sitting around and moping, so I hopped out of the house and down towards the bar.

There were people around partying and drinking, but they weren't sloppy. It wasn't anything special, but it served spicy rum. Thus, it was my favorite. I probably shouldn't be drinking with the medication, however, but after last night I decided to treat myself. Only about five people were sitting at the bar, and they were mostly couples. There was a lot of nuzzling and touching, so I sat on the opposite side.

I parked myself at the bar, and a large, brown man with gray hair walked up to my spot. "Hey, Steve. What can I get ya tonight?"

"Double Captain with coke." I held my head in my hands.

"Rough night?" he asked.

"Pretty much," I sighed.

He pushed the drink in front of me. "The sun will rise on you again."

"I hope so," I shrugged, taking back the first of what was sure to be many glasses of rum.

"I say have a blast here and then go back to your normal life. It never hurt anyone to let loose."

"I don't let loose." I drank some more of what he gave me, letting the burn slither down my throat.

"Do you have a lady friend?" he asked. "She might be able to provide you with some help."

"Not anymore."

"Oh, so that's why you've been so down. I thought it was just because you hated me," he laughed.

"I could never hate the man who provides me with my nightly elixir." I raised my glass.

"Here, here." He boisterously laughed and handed me a beer. He went further down the bar to tend to other patrons.

"Howdy, stranger," a bouncy voice said from next to me.

I smiled slightly but didn't turn around, knowing who it was, "Nice of you to drop in, Sharon."

"And a pleasure to see you always." She chuckled lightly before taking the seat next to me.

"We didn't get the chance to talk yesterday." I sipped on my beer.

She giggled, "Well, you were kind of busy at that moment, with Romanoff and all."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be; I'm just glad I caught you by yourself." She moved closer to me.

"I'm glad too." I nodded, smiling lightly.

"You seem like you're going through a rough time. Like you need a friend."

"I appreciate your concern," I clipped, trying to brush her off without being rude. I looked up, and the bartender brought another beer without me asking.

"Cheers." I nodded curtly before opening it up and taking a pull.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" Sharon moved even closer, and I felt her hip as it brushed against my knee. "Or are you drinking for another reason? Do I even have to guess?"

"I'm fine," I muttered.

"You don't look fine."

"Well, I am," I graciously grabbed the beer bottle and took another swig.

"Is it about Natasha?"

I didn't answer.

"What happened?"

"It doesn't matter." I shrugged it off. "She's not coming back."

"I'm sorry, Steve."

"I'm not," I muttered. "Everything happens for a reason.

"Well, it's her loss," Sharon sighed, placing her hands on my forearm. "She couldn't see the amazing guy that she had, right in front of her eyes."

I smiled lightly at her words.

We talked for the rest of the night, and I even took her back to my place to catch up. It amazed me how carefree Sharon made me feel. It almost made me forget about Nat.

"I had a great time seeing you again," she said softly.

"Me too. It was nice catching up. I enjoyed myself. Do you think we could see each other again? As friends, I mean."

"Sure, I'd like that. Now that I know where you live, I guess there's no hiding from me."

"Nope. And even if I did try to hide, you know some pretty good intergalactic scouts who could find me."

"There's no hiding from me," She said with a roll of her eyes. She glanced at her wristwatch and sighed. "I have to get going now, Steve." She stepped around me, heading for the door.

She suddenly stopped before she could reach the handle of the door as her hands fell to her sides. She turned around and walked back to me, looking incredibly pensive. "I'm sorry, Steve," she finally answered.

"Why?" I asked puzzled.

She breathed out through her nose and shrugged her shoulders as if there was nothing more she could do at this point, or at least nothing more she could deny. "Because…I'm about to be incredibly selfish."

Sharon's hands reached up to my cheeks, pulled me down for a simple kiss. There were no open mouths, no desperate pressure, and no need that needed to be communicated due to rushed passion or emotions that weren't adequately sorted yet. It was just a very gentle touching of lips that only lasted for a few seconds. Sharon broke the kiss, but I held her there for a second, letting our breaths mingle with our lips only millimeters apart.

"Sharon..."

"I need you," Sharon shoved me lightly to the couch and boldly climbed into my lap, one leg on either side of me before forced her lips onto mine.

I was so taken by surprise that I didn't know what to do at first. I just sat there while her lips molded to mine. It wasn't unpleasant per se, but it just didn't feel right.

Maybe it was my medication, or perhaps I imagined Natasha here with me, but when Sharon licked my bottom lip asking for entrance, I granted it and sucked gently. There was moaning, I didn't know from whom, but there was a lot of it, and her hands went from my chest to my hair. She pulled tightly, bolting herself to my body, and I felt her hips roll into my crotch that was starting to respond.

"God, Steve," she panted.

"Shhh..." I kissed her neck and got the sudden urge to take this further.

I took control, flipping us on the couch so that I was on top of her. Sharon's leg went around my hip, and I recaptured her lips with mine. Her hands trailed down my body with caressing gestures that I took as an indication that this was going to progress further.

I suddenly jerked slightly, remembering that this was Sharon and not Natasha.

"You can say her name," she whispers in my ear. "Let me be her. It's okay, Steve. Let me be her."

She keeps repeating the same thing in my ear; she whispers it over and over again against my mouth while she kisses me softly. "Let me be her." Then she starts grinding her hips hard against mine.

I gasp slightly when I felt Sharon slide into my arms, her body is molded perfectly to me, and her lips nearly ghost against mine. I close my eyes to the spinning stars and enjoys the heavenly ride, even though it's going to be a disappointingly short one. I was too numb to object.

My hands went to her hips, and I leaned my head back- ignoring the throbbing pain in my head- trying to let the moment pass.

* * *

The sun was beating in through the window, and my eyes squinted open painfully. My head was throbbing, and I didn't even want to think about how much damage I had done last night. I couldn't remember how I had gotten in my bed, and most of my night was now a haze in my brain.

I fell out of bed, hitting the floor in a heap of sheets. I was naked, and my body felt like it was filled with lead. I couldn't think or see straight. My brain started running all the possibilities in my head of what could have happened last night. Then one word quickly popped up in my head, Sharon.

"Damn it." I hit my head on the floor repeatedly. "Stupid."

I got up from the floor and stretched my muscles. The ache from my side was throbbing, but I pushed past it and jumped in the shower. I couldn't even spend my regular twenty-seven minutes under the water, which profoundly annoyed me, but I didn't have time. The entire time I was in there, my thoughts weren't on Sharon, they were on Nat.

I'd never touched her again.

Even when she'd melted against me, last night, broken and mangled up inside, she'd always had restraint.

It hurt me, nearly killed me, to know that she'd picked her misery instead of happiness. That, despite all I'd ever offered her, she had still gone.

The little hope in me that had been burning since last night, it was extinguished now, but the ashes were twittering still—yearning for a catch to light up again. Even now—even when she was mines—I loved her. We made a baby together; those type of memories don't fade away.

I wanted to forget, but a little, stubborn, hopeful part of me refused. Because maybe she would come back to me someday.

And what then? What good would it do for me to tear myself open all over again? Best to keep the wound fresh and angry, so that I'd be able to give myself to her…if she ever came back.

I close my eyes and looked into the past, the steamy room morphing into a perfectly manicured lawn, with twilight overhead, and Natasha in my arms. Her pregnancy is such a distant memory now that it's sometimes hard for me to picture how happy we were. The warm feel of her body against me as we laid in bed, the smell of her perfume, none of that feels real anymore. I look at the man in my memories and wonder who I am. It's like it all happened to someone else and I just imagined it.

I knew that I had to get Natasha out of my system, but no matter what was going on, no matter who I was with, I couldn't see myself moving on anytime sooner.


	6. VI.

_Natasha's POV_  
_"Your memory feels like home to me._  
_So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it’s way back to you."_  
_—[Ranata Suzuki](https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/16288605.Ranata_Suzuki)_

* * *

_"Steve..." I moan again when I felt his lips brush against the underside of my jawline._

_He hovered over me while his hands explored every inch of my body. For all the fire and passion we displayed just hours earlier, he was all tenderness and sweet caresses now. I couldn't have asked for anything more. Steve was giving me, giving us precisely what we needed. Each other._

_His warm hand traced lines up and down my arm as he parted my lips gently with his tongue. His mouth moved from my lips to my jaw, my ear, and then down to my neck. He placed gentle kisses along my collarbone and traveled to my breasts. He caressed my breasts and kneaded them gently. He slowly raised my shirt up and over my head, tossing it to the side. He worshipped my breasts with his tongue licking on and around my nipples. I moaned in ecstasy. Steve brought his mouth back to mine and dug his hands firmly into my hair._

_My body arched up into his, and this time he moaned at the contact. I felt his hardened manhood pressing against my thigh. His hands moved to my waist as he fumbled with the button and zipper. Between the two of us, we managed to get my pants down and out of the way in no time. I was lying beneath him naked. He kissed me lightly on the mouth and whispered, "You're so beautiful."_

_He sat upon his knees and took my right leg in his hands. He raised my foot to his mouth and kissed my toes, my heel, my ankle, and caressed my calf and thigh. His kisses continued up my leg as he licked and lightly bit my inner thigh. I whimpered at the sensation. I felt his warm breath hover teasingly over my center before he moved to my left leg. This time he kissed and licked from my thigh back down to my foot. He then gently grabbed both of my legs and wrapped them tightly around his waist as he lay on top of me. His hands tangled in my hair as he kissed me passionately. The passion between us was brought to a slow boil. I was in danger of over-heating from the contact with his inflamed skin. I felt the rough fabric of denim rubbing against my sensitive core and winced slightly. I tugged at his jeans while I undid the button and pulled down the zipper. I yanked the jeans down past his hips while my hand roamed his abs and the muscular v leading to his arousal. He briefly pulled away from me, stepping out of his pants and tossing them on the pile of my clothes._

_Steve lay back on top of me, and my legs were automatically re-wrapped around his waist. My arms reached around his neck, and I brought our mouths together. I couldn't get enough of this slow, seductive Steve. I never wanted him to stop, though I wanted, no, needed, so much more._

_"I love you..."_

The pounding on the door was enough to jerk me awake, but it took me a while to blink my eyes open. I didn't know what I was going on, and my body was suddenly freezing from the lack of covers that had just fallen off of the bed.

"What the hell?" I exhaled slowly and looked around. The clock on my nightstand read seven. It was way too early even to be thinking about getting up, especially on a Sunday.

"Open up now; we need to talk." The pounding continued, and I heard the owner of the hotel's voice from the other side.

I stumbled out of bed and went to open the door.

She was standing there with a piece of paper and a grim look. "You're late on your payment."

"So you woke me up just to tell me that?" My voice was raspy.

"Pay up or move out," she commanded.

"Whatever you say, Mirna." I deadpanned.

"It's Maya!"

"Sure, it is." I slammed the door in her face and flopped right back on the bed.

And like usual, my thoughts lingered back to Steve.

Steve and I hadn't seen each other in over a month. I hated to admit that I missed him, but I did. I missed him like hell. I had come to terms with things in my head that I was a little too emotional. Now that I looked back on it, I realized that I was slightly dramatic. I should have told Steve all the things that were going through my head because that would have been the adult thing to do. Didn't adults talk about their problems with each other?

Steve had to know how I felt. But I couldn't just go running back into his arms and pretend that everything would be alright. That wasn't how it worked, but as much as I tried to fight the pull, I just couldn't any longer. We needed each other, to heal and move on with our lives.

I needed to talk to Steve. That was the only way things were going to get better.

Once I ate breakfast, I packed the rest of my things and stuffed them in my bag before leaving the worn hotel.

Another location scratched off the list.

I walked down to Francis's restaurant as fast as my feet would take me. It was nearing sunset when I made it there. The lights were still, but it looked like he was closing shop. I knocked and waited until finally, Francis showed up with a surprised look on his face.

"It's good to see you again, Ms. Natasha." Francis smiled at me.

"You too, sir."

He didn't correct me when I called him "sir." I liked that.

"I'll take it that you're here to straighten my boy out?"

"That's the plan. We've both had it rough lately."

"Well, he’s upstairs. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you." Francis patted my shoulder.

I sure hope so...

I walked up the familiar steps and saw the door wide open. His back was turned to me as he looked out the window.

"What are you doing here, Nat?" I heard Steve's voice, but it was more profound than I remembered.

I jumped too quickly and almost fell over, catching myself on the wall.

"Oh, hi," I replied lamely. He turned to me, and my heart nearly broke.

Steve didn't even look the same. His eyes were sunken in, and he looked as if he'd aged maybe ten years. His eyes looked lifeless and lonely.

I couldn't help myself; my hand reached out to touch his stubbly jaw. "What happened to you?"

"I… I don't know," he answered dryly. "What are you doing here?"

I decided not to acknowledge that question. We would get to that later.

"Why do you look so sick?" I took a chance and cupped his face with both of my hands. He hadn't pushed me away yet, so I took that as a good sign.

"I don't look sick." He closed his eyes. "It's good to see you."

"Steve, are you OK?"

"Not really," he said truthfully.

I could smell the whiskey on his breath. I had turned him into a full-blown addict. I wanted to cry. "I assume you want to talk?"

"Yeah," I whispered, not able to form words. "Steve, I was messed up. I know I've done some stupid stuff, but I never meant to hurt you."

He just nodded curtly, not making any eye contact with me. I quickly noticed him fiddling with something in his bruised hands. A lump formed in my throat when I saw that it was Annabelle's ultrasound picture, the same one I had back at that shitty hotel. It was worn out a little from being folded and continuously unfolded, but I would know the shape of my daughter anywhere.

"I'm not asking for your forgiveness, I don't deserve it," I said truthfully, as he remained silent. "If anything, I want you to make me beg for it, anything to make this right."

I looked into his eyes, confused, and saw rage and furry reflected at me. He practically snarled, "Why couldn't you stay?"

I was stunned. He'd never sworn at me before. I was about to respond when he interrupted me, "I thought you loved me, Nat. Even after everything we've been through, you still love me, right?"

"Of course, Steve. I…," he interrupted again.

"Well, why didn't you stay?!"

His fists were clenched at his sides, and his eyes bored into mine, challenging me to explain myself. Tears were spilling from my eyes at the thought of all the pain and heartache I had caused him. I wanted nothing more than to hold him in my arms and tell him that he was the one. To make him feel as whole as his presence here made me think.

"Steve…"

"No, Nat," he held his hand up in the air to silence me. "I understand, okay? Losing Annabelle was very hard for you because you were there for everything. I didn't feel every kick; I didn't get morning sickness." His hands gripped the picture a little tighter and waved it a little, "But she was my little girl too, and I loved her just as much you did! And not a day goes by where I don't think about our little girl. But...you were all I had left, and you took that away too." He glared at me throughout this tirade, but then his face softened, showing that his anger was a mask put in place to protect his breaking heart. He continued, "I love you with every fiber in my being, Natasha. I wanted to be the one you could confide in. I wanted you to reach to me. I wanted to hold you at night when you were crying your heart out. I wanted us to mourn our loss together. But you didn't want that. And that's not you. That's not the person I fell in love with. I just wanted you to let me in, that's all."

Tears were forming in his eyes, but with high strength of mind, he willed them away. I reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Steve, I'm so sorry I hurt you like that. You know that wasn't my intention." Steve listened intently as he eyed me expectantly, encouraging me to continue."When I found out I was pregnant, it was the happiest day of my life. After all these years of convincing myself that I couldn't be a mother, Annabelle made her way into my life. I was ready to be a mother, but most of all, I was prepared to be a mother to  _your_  child." Steve looked up and stepped closer to me until our bodies were mere inches apart. "But when... when she didn't make it, I couldn't... I can't handle the thought of her being gone. And this may sound selfish but I when see you, I see her."

I reached up and cupped his cheek in my hand as he bit his bottom lip in thought, almost like I frequently did. "Why are you telling this now, Nat?"

"Because I love you. I wanted you to be happy. I came here because I needed to make everything right and to tell you what I was feeling. I'm sorry I made you feel as though you weren't good enough. But I wasn't good enough for you. At least, not until I could appreciate you for everything you are."

Steve leaned into my hand while I confessed my feelings for him. His eyes were full of hope and love. It looked as though he was processing a thousand things in his mind all at once. Then, like a cloud passing over the sun, his expression changed. "I would've never left you, Nat. You know that."

"I do, but I didn't want to be selfish. I want you happy."

"And all I want is you."

I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out, "You look exhausted, Steve." I moved some hair out of his face.

"I've been through worse pain," was his beautiful answer.

"You're going to kill yourself."

"I've been dead this past month."

"That's a little dramatic." I almost laughed.

He half-smiled. "I know, but it's how I felt. I was lost without you."

I nodded and wanted to kiss him so badly.

"I know you are. We could apologize to each other for years but… I want to start over. Can we do that?" I said, hopefully.

"I would like that," he said without moving.

I took his hand. It flinched away from me, but he settled when I tried again.

"I know we have a lot to talk about and growing to do, but I would like to do it together." My line was cheesy, but I had to say it. He needed to know.

He nodded assuredly. "Can we just… enjoy today and then work on everything later."

"Okay, but I want to say this. This isn't you, Steve," I told him straightforwardly. "To be honest, I should leave your ass right here and go find someone who is worth it."

We sat on the couch for a little while longer, not saying anything but soaking up what we had just admitted to each other.

"Do you still love me?" I asked.

"You know I do," he answered immediately, without thought or question. "Do you still love me?"

"You know I do," I said evenly.

"Me too."

"I don't mean to sound egotistical, but you can't function without me."

"I'm functioning," he argued.

"No, you're not."

He didn't have anything to shoot back, so he just wrung his hands together.

"I'll get it together, promise."

"OK."

"And… we'll talk about living situations later?"

"Living situations?" I asked skeptically

"I want you to stay with me… for your safety."

"For my safety?" I snorted

"And…" His lips moved, but I couldn't hear any words. I knew what he wanted to say, though. I just needed to listen to him, say it.

"What was that?" I asked.

He grumbled again.

"I can't hear you, Steve."

"I said, 'I miss being close to you,'" he whispered.

That brought a smile to my face.

"That's good to hear. Anything happens since I left?"

"Uh...yeah." Steve rubbed the back of his neck, not looking at me.

"Something you want to tell me?" I leaned in, urging him to tell me the truth.

"OK, I want to be 100% percent honest with you from now on. We need to maintain our trust with each other." I nodded in agreement. Steve didn't say anything for a minute. His eyes shifted to mine like he was asking me for permission.

I gave an encouraging head nod.

He let out a long breath. "Alright, well, when you left, I had a bad headache and was hopped up on pain medication. When I woke up from my nap, I went to a bar to drink, and that's where I saw... Sharon."

Sharon...of course.

"We talked, went back home. I should've told her to leave, but I didn't…" Steve shrugged. " Next thing I know, she was on my lap and us..." He didn't finish the sentence, and I knew what that meant.

"Oh..." was all I could come up with.

"I thought she was you," Steve said suddenly.

"You what?" I turned towards him.

"I thought she was you. I kept saying your name and I… don't know. I thought you were there."

I didn't even know what to say to that.

He thought she was me?

I didn't want to say that it was sweet, but it sure did allow me to see what was going through his head.

"Did you stop after you realized…" I asked.

He gave me a look that gave me my answer, and I gave him an honest nod.

"OK," I moved closer to him. "Thank you for telling me."

"You're not mad?"

"No, but if you ever look at another woman again, I will chop off your penis and feed it to a bird." I couldn't stop the words from coming out.

Steve looked at me for a second before he started clutching his stomach in laughter. He was out of breath for a couple of minutes.

"That's not funny." I tried to fight my laughter.

"I just never thought I'd hear that coming out of your mouth."

"Well, you're gonna hear it a lot more." I grabbed his hand, and he looked at me with hopeful eyes. "Because you're mine."

I looked up and saw that he was staring down at me, eyes filled with wonder. "Am I?"

"Yes, you are," I said, smoothing his mussed up hair away from his face, "As long as you'll have me."

He didn't say anything. The look of love and adoration in his eyes, combined with the pure animal lust seeping from his very pores said it all. And that's when his lips crashed down hungrily onto mine.

I could taste the salt from his dried-up tears on his lips. The scent of his breath, hot and eager, had me panting and begging for more. His kisses were wild, biting and desperate; firm, but never dominating. His strong hands palmed my rear, and he lifted me in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and threw my hands around his neck. He was hard between my legs; his arousal pressed up against my core. I moaned against his lips, heady from the feel of his hunger; his heat.

He held me up quickly, as though I weighed nothing at all, while his hands took turns roaming my body. They were everywhere, but never anywhere long enough; his touch was teasing, just enough to be almost satisfying. He pulled me flush to his hard, lean body. I was cocooned within his embrace. His grasp was firm and unrelenting, giving me a glimpse of the extraordinary strength he possessed. I clung to him. My body undulated, creating delicious friction. I couldn't get enough of him. He held me as tight as he could without hurting me, yet it wasn't nearly close enough.

If we were any closer, we would have been fused. And still, he kissed me. He kissed me like it was the first time; like it was the last time. His kisses tasted of love and hate, ecstasy and despair. Everything he had ever felt for me, everything he ever would think for me was there in the way his lips caressed mine, in the way he held me and touched me. It was perfect. I had never felt more desired or loved in my whole life. His heart hammered against his chest, and I knew he was telling me without words that it beat for me.

He was taking me to places, to heights of passion I'd never reached before. Silent tears fell down my cheek. If Steve noticed, he didn't say anything. Instead, he kissed me all the more feverishly, each touch, each lick and gently nipped a reminder of the passion we could experience together.

Although my tears fell unabated, I ignored them, preferring to focus on drowning in Steve's musky scent. My fingers scratched and clawed down his back and rippling biceps. I tugged at his shirt, and he reached behind his neck with one hand and pulled the offending piece of cotton up and over his head, tossing it to the floor. I sucked my lower lip into my mouth, taking in and admiring all his skin that had just been revealed — a small lump formed in my throat when I saw the new addition on Steve's right shoulder.

I lightly touched the small set of angel wings that were done beautifully and stood out against his skin. Under it was one word, beautifully scripted, ”Annabelle.”

“I got it a couple of weeks ago. Never thought I would get one.” He chuckled at the irony.

”It’s beautiful.” I leaned in and placed a small kiss on it.

After I took my fill, I met his eyes, only to find his own eyes trained on my lower lip. His brows furrowed and he groaned, attacking my lips with renewed vigor.

Steve started to walk towards the small bed. In the next moment, I found myself relieved of my tank top and bra. I didn't even bother thinking about how he managed such a feat without me noticing. Instead, I pressed my naked flesh to his, my nipples immediately hardening at his touch. My hands tangled in his hair while he roamed my body, squeezing, kneading, and digging deliciously into my flesh. It was like he was trying to memorize every inch of me, his fingertips taking mental pictures.

He lay me down on the bed. He quickly undid my jeans and tugged them along with my panties down my legs. There was nothing romantic about it, only aggressive, desperate need. His shorts and boxers quickly followed, and soon he was on the bed, hovering over me. His eyes were like liquid fire.

"I need you," he whispered, eyes so bright and intense it was hard to maintain contact.

I nodded vigorously. "And you have me," I reassured him. I took his hand and placed it over my heart. "Always." His eyes followed his hand and stayed focused on my heaving chest.

He pressed his body down onto mine. My heart fluttered at the feel of his masculine weight pressing me down into the mattress. He caressed my cheek, and with an intensity, I'd never experienced before said, "Don't leave me again, please."

My mouth fell open, awed by the desperation in his plea. I took his face in my hands and brought his lips to mine, kissing him, branding him with my love. "I promise," I whispered between kisses. "I won't."

His lips devoured mine, hands groping and grabbing; always wanting, searching for more. I whimpered, desperate for fulfillment and with one quick thrust, he was inside me, all hard and hot. I moaned clutching his shoulders as his hips rocked back and forth. A subtle sheen of sweat already coated his rippling muscles. I scratched my nails down his back, eliciting a soft growl. My core clenched around him as if in response.

He made love to me as though I was precious, a goddess. He worshipped me with his hands, with his lips, with his very body. And I returned every gesture in kind because he was precious to me. 

We moved together in perfect synchronicity. We were like one body. And all the while, his dark, observant eyes watched me, perusing my collection at his leisure. I was mesmerized by his body; the way his muscles contracted, straining with exertion. He was beautiful. There was no doubt about that. But, when he was in the throes of passion, he was truly exquisite. I was overwhelmed. His firm, calloused hands were so soft and gentle as they stroked and traced the curves of my body. I closed my eyes, giving up all conscious thought and got lost in the sensations. His hands, lips, tongue, and teeth were everywhere. The fire ignited between us was all-consuming.

I focused on every kiss, every caress; on the rising crest of pleasure building in my gut, getting ready to explode through my veins. I closed my eyes, getting lost in a primal rhythm. His pace increased, his breathing ragged. I writhed beneath him, caught up somewhere between tears and cries of pure joy and ecstasy.

"Look at me," he urged, panting heavily. I couldn't help but obey, compelled as I was by the demand in his voice. I looked into his dark eyes and felt as though I was being swallowed whole. He caressed my face, pushing my sweat-soaked hair out of my eyes. "I love you," he said. His hands moved up and down my body, sending tingles down my spine. His touch was sensual, erotic. My back arched up off of the bed, trying to get closer to him, trying to wrap myself up inside of him, the friction making my skin thrum with anticipation. "I'll always love you," he whispered, kissing my lips and leaving a wet trail down my neck. I dug my nails into his back in response, and he growled. I squeezed my thighs tighter around his hips, rising to meet each thrust.

I held him as we came down from our high, his head resting against my breasts. I was pleasantly sated. My legs were still wrapped around his hips, my thighs quivered. I knew I would be sore the next day and I was pleased. At least that way, I would have a physical reminder of his touch and not just the memory of it.

We lay on the bed, wrapped up in each other's arms as our breathing steadied and our racing hearts slowed down. Neither one of us said anything. There was nothing left to say. Steve kissed my breasts and trailed sweet, wet kisses up and down my neck. Gone was the urgency from before. The desperation and morphed into stoic acceptance, and he touched me in kind. I didn't care. I had him in my arms for a little while longer. That's all I cared about.

"I've missed you, Nat."

"And I missed you."

"Let's not be apart again, alright?" I laughed softly and kissed his chest.

"I promise I'm staying."

Before I could fully relax, simultaneously, both of our phones vibrated violently on the floor. We both knew what that meant.

"Back to work?" I whisper.

"Yeah, back to work."


	7. VII.

_Tony's POV  
_ _"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."_ _― Oscar Wilde_

* * *

_Even in the darkest times people should able to find a small glimmer of something that resembles hope, be it the light given from friends, and support, or the light brought on by a forgotten memory, pulling them somewhat from their depression and into a place of being without the hate and despair brought on by the loss of someone dear. Not me._

_For me, it was different; it would always be different._

_My pain would never be the same as any other being on this Earth, the same as so many things in my life; I was different. For one thing, when someone loses someone, they were able to move on to someone else, often better and more cared for, the circle of life hardly affected by the loss. They'd shed a tear and then move on. I would never be able to do that. It was one thing to lose someone you imagined being in love with, but when you knew that that person would be the only being in all eternity who would be able to fill the void of your heart, one might understand now why I lied in shattered pieces of the person I once was._

_And even the pain would never be identifiable to the degree of complete understanding._

_It felt like my heart was gone. I was leaving nothing but a gaping hole filled with empty and bitter promises from my lips that were once so sweet and now seemed tainted with the lies. But Pepper made my life worth living._

_It was funny; we were so different in so many ways that even I couldn't fully comprehend how much so. She was light and beauty. I thought I wasn't even worthy of her time for even a short moment, and yet she had spent too long by my side it was almost like this being that she was, was a part of me also. I could hardly find the reason to breathe if she was not there._

_She was my everything in all its entirety, my lungs, without her, I couldn't breathe. My brain, without her, I could not think. My heart… that gaping hole in the center of my chest. That was her. She didn't just hold it with her; she was my heart. And so was our daughter._

_Another waft of tears spilled from my swollen eyes._

_I think about holding her, protecting her like an angel watching over her and spreading the love over my entirety. My_ _heart couldn't help but jump for joy whenever I saw her._

_And now... they were gone._

I jumped in my spot only to find myself still stuck in my computer chair, "Oh... looks like I'm late again."

"Would you like me to shut down the plans for the night, sir?"

"Please do, Friday. I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight sir."

When I got upstairs, Pepper was softly sleeping in bed, and the moon, which once brightened such a graphic, horrible scene earlier in the night, shone on her. I couldn't think of a better vision to lay by my side.

Pepper liked to sleep in slouchy clothes; things of mine that she could move around in. She was lying face down, the sheets of the bed wrapped around her legs, and since it was a slightly warm night, she didn't find the need for a blanket.

I bit on my knuckles to quiet my lascivious and wanton noises.

I started at her calves, kissing and savoring each inch of silken flesh. She stirred slightly and moaned my name.

"Is that you?" she asked.

"No, it's some other man, sneaking into your bed at night." I continued up higher, to her thighs.

"Oh, well, don't tell my husband." She giggled as my breath created gooseflesh on her body. "He can be an animal when he's jealous."

I growled.

Since the pregnancy, Pepper had naturally gained some weight. I had convinced her not to lose it all, even though she was determined to get back to normal. She was naturally skinny and probably always would be, but she carried the few extra pounds nicely. I liked it a lot better that way. She was firm in all the right places and voluptuous in others. So tantalizing.

"I was waiting up for you. Sorry, I fell asleep." Pepper came alive but didn't turn over. She was pressing herself deeper into our mattress.

"This is such a nice surprise." I reached her shoulder, biting softly.

"I take it you like the clothes I bought today." Pepper chuckled lightly.

"Why do you wear such things? You know I'm just going to rip them away from your body. They are a waste of money."

"Completely pointless?"

"I didn't say that."

"I thought it might be nice for a change."

"To tempt me further into wanting you? I thought it was impossible, but you keep surprising me."

"Maybe," she sighed, pulling me up to meet my lips.

This had the making of such a great night, but unfortunately, somebody had other plans.

"Damn," I nearly cried my tears when I heard the wail from down the hall.

"She probably just needs a change." Pepper sat up quickly.

The mood had passed, and I watched her jump out of bed as she put on a damned robe before running out of the room.

That night, after Morgan had been settled, our lovemaking was slow and tender. I worshiped Pepper's body until I had no more to give. I pulled her close to my body, feeling her naked skin against mine, and let her sleep against me.

I couldn't shut my eyes and decided to forgo resting. I didn't even try. My brain didn't want to shut down.

Sometime around four in the morning, I rolled out of bed, disentangling myself from Pepper, and paced around the room for a bit. I was antsy and for no particular reason other than the fact that I needed to move around. I didn't feel settled. I decided to do something productive.

I pulled the double doors of our closet open and looked around, thinking about re-organizing my ties. This was a process that would take me at least a couple of hours since I had so many. Once I was inside, though, I was shocked. It had been too long since I looked at our closet.

"This place is a mess," I said to myself.

I began with my half of the closet, pulling everything off of the racks, shelves, and hangers. I refolded hundreds of undershirts and re-balled socks, dress and casual, alike. I spent an hour polishing my shoes with an old rag. That took up the bulk of my time since my shoe collection was…extensive.

I redid all the drawers, switching individual sections around. I had never liked my workout clothes in the bottom drawers, but Pepper insisted on it. I finally placed them on a top shelf where I could see them better. I then moved on to my suits, which I packaged up to be sent away for dry cleaning — all of them.

Most of the brands were Armani and Calvin Klein, the makings of a well-dressed man. I had tried out different things at some point but didn't particularly like the fit or the colors or the fabrics. It was best to stick with what I knew.

Once I was done, sometime around seven, my side of the closet was spotless. I was very impressed with my work until I turned around and my face fell as I looked at Pepper's mishap of clothes.

I nodded in determination as I got back to work.

Pepper had more clothes than I did. I don't know how that happened, but her shelves were overflowing. The problem was that Pepper didn't believe in organizing. She would hang things up wherever she was at the moment. I had to fix that. I pulled everything down, replacing it as I saw fit. She had hundreds of dresses that I sorted by color. I moved onto her shoes, categorized by heel height, and then alphabetically.

Armani, Burberry, Chanel, Christian Louboutin, Dona Karen, Jimmy Choo…

She had flats, boots, sneakers, and sandals, which I kept on the bottom rack of the closet. It always amused me when Pepper wore anything with a heel

Then came the handbags and purses, once again, done alphabetically.

Alexander McQueen, Bottega Veneta, Diane Von Furstenberg, Fendi, Hermes…

I chuckled to myself, just thinking about exactly how much I had spent on her wardrobe in the past year or so. I probably didn't want to know.

I was on my hands and knees, going through her sleeping wear when I came across a simple white collar shirt. I held it in my hands, feeling the scratchy fabric. I remembered this shirt.

When I first met Pepper, she used to always dress in a simple collar shirt and a black skirt. Back then, I didn't understand it. Why would I ever be attracted to a girl who thought that simple clothing was a fashion statement? But Pepper was different. She had a dress that was outdated since 1980, and mine was overly fashionable. We should have never mixed, and somehow we did. But even then, I knew she was "the one." I couldn't help myself.

That's why I loved her so much and always would.

"You're starting to sound crazy." I shook my head.

I stood up and decided to keep the plaid for myself. I neatly folded it and placed the shirt in one of my drawers, secretly hidden under a stack of freshly pressed light blue underwear.

"Tony, what are you doing?" Pepper stumbled into the closet.

"I'm spring cleaning," I answered, making sure to shut the drawer with her plaid shirt in it. She wasn't getting that back.

Pepper looked around, her face filled with confusion. "What happened to all of my clothes?"

"I organized them. Don't you like it?"

"Sure." Her brow furrowed as she ran her hands along with her coats and jackets.

"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to get this done while I had the energy," I explained.

"Well, that's good, I guess. I hope you weren't up all night with this."

"No, not at all. It was rather quick."

She tripped over a pile on the floor. "Tony, what are my dresses doing down here." She picked one up.

"That's the stuff I'm throwing out."

"Throwing out?" Her voice went up an octave.

"Yes," I answered with finality. "Those dresses are too short for you. You can't wear that stuff."

"Says who? And they are not too short."

"That thing barely covers your ass," I argued.

"You're exaggerating. I'm not throwing any of them out. I happen to like these dresses.." She started to pick them up hastily.

"Pepper, I'm not fighting you on this. Leave them on the floor so I can get rid of them."

"You never seemed to have a problem before with my dresses. As I recall, you like my legs."

"Don't patronize me. Your legs are for me. Not everyone else." I wrapped her in my arms.

"They aren't that short, Tony." She sighed. "Can we compromise?"

"No," I said immediately, then amended my answer when she glared at me. "Maybe."

We agreed on throwing out all dresses that didn't come to at least three inches above the knee, but I think she tricked me because Pepper only had about two of those. I measured. I ground my teeth together as I watched her hang them back up, just thinking about all the filthy men I would have to fight when we walked down the street or when she would visit me at my office.

"I still don't like this." I stood against the opposite wall and crossed my arms.

"You'll be fine." She rose on her toes to kiss me. "Come help me with Morgan."

We left the closet, my mind finally free from clothing, and went to the bedroom. The pastel colors had been covered over with fantastic scenes from Mother Goose stories. I didn't know any of them personally, but they looked kind of calming and playful.

Morgan was up and giggling when I picked her up.

"Hey there, pumpkin." I bounced her in my arms. "You look so happy today. What's going on?"

She leaned forward and placed a sloppy kiss on my chin.

"She loves her daddy." Pepper smiled at us.

"Of course she does." I chuckled to myself, kissing the top of Morgan's head. "I just hope I never leave her."

"Why do you say that?" Pepper asked me.

"Come on, Pep. You know me, no matter how hard I try, you know I can't stop."

"Oh, I know. It's been one of my life long missions trying to get you to stop." She chuckled a little. "But I could never tell you to stop. It's not who I am, and it's not who you are."

"So, you don't want me to stop?"

She moved to Morgan and me and wrapped her arms around us, "When you find a plan, which I know you will. I want you to do everything you can to make it right."

"I will." I leaned over and kissed Pepper and Morgan on their head. "I promise."

* * *

Steve's POV

"Steve?" I jumped, startled by Nat's voice, having nearly forgotten she was there for all my fear. My eyes never averted from the small picture that was in my hands. Annabelle's ultrasound picture. She was so beautiful before she could even leave the womb. So perfect. If only I could tell her that myself.

Maybe one day, I could.

I let out a deep breath of relaxation. I was going to need it today.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She stooped down to my level, her green eyes boring into mine. Her warm hands caressed the sides of my face; her thumb brushed gently across my lower lip. I met her gaze, unable to look away. She was so beautiful and healthy.

"I have that same picture, you know?" Her fingers traced mine. "I could never part with it."

"It's not enough," I sighed.

"I know."

"I miss her..."

"I miss her too," Natasha whispered as she pulled me towards her and held me firmly; so close that I could hear the reassuring beat of her heart against my chest. I gave myself up to her embrace, though I knew it wouldn't last; couldn't last. She kissed me desperately and thoroughly, leaving me breathless and lightheaded. Fierce determination flared in her eyes. "You ready?"

It felt like a loaded question. My gut told me that once we left this planet, nothing would be the same again. I was sure of it. I was terrified of what was to come. But there wasn't much I could do about that. I did the only thing I could do. I nodded curtly and followed Nat on the quinjet.

The usually spotless, minimalist jet was bursting at the seams with people. The majority of the team was present. They occupied one side of the plane, while another party was occupied with the others. The scene would have almost looked comical if it weren't for the dire circumstances in which we found ourselves.

Thor sat on the far side of the jet, his body sprawled in the definition of relaxation. Carol sat beside him as they shared an intimate look.

Interesting...

They pulled back immediately and smiled at me as I entered, looking carefree. Only the fire in their eyes belied their true feelings. They were ready for a fight.

It was most of the team restless and agitated. And rightfully so. We've never faced a threat like this ever in our lives, and our strengths were being at this very moment.

The air was stifling, and I was finding it hard to breathe. Natasha squeezed my hand, reminding me yet again that no matter what happened, we would go through it together. I sighed in relief and walked towards the jet before sitting down in the back seat.

All eyes were focused on me.

"I'm alright," I said to the room at large. "Let's go get this bastard."

"Everybody accounted for?" Rocket asked from the pilot's seat.

"I'm here," Rhodey's voice traveled from the back entrance before dropping something by my side. "Tony wanted you to have to this."

I didn't bother to look; I already knew what was waiting for me. I gave him a curt nod and a thank you before watching him take a seat. After a few helpful tips from Rocket about the effects of space, we were off in a flash. I could barely catch a glimpse of anything outside the front glass, but it was mesmerizing, like nothing I've ever seen before.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be the last time I see something beautiful like this.

"I'll do a quick recon."Carol gave us a curt nod before quickly exiting the ship and zooming straight to the planet. Carol was...different. I've met a more powerful being in my life besides Thor. She and Fury used to be great friends back in the '90s before she left for an important. And now she was back, ready to raise hell with the rest of us.

I shivered slightly when I felt familiar hands wrap around my waist once again, "This is gonna work, Steve."

"And what if it doesn't?"

She moves in front of me to press her forehead against mines, "It will. It has to."

I leaned back slightly to brush a strand of hair away from her face, "You know I love you, right?"

"You know I love you too."

I breathed in her scent and just held her for as long as I could. Just in case this was my last moment with her, this would be it.

A blur flashed in my face, "There's nobody else there, no signs of life or army. It's just him."

Nebula moved up and shook her head slightly, "And that's enough."

* * *

The planet was beautiful. Exotic plants were exploited everywhere around us; even the air was oddly fresh. But something about this place was very eerie and dark, probably because of the person lurking around in it.

"So you made it." A deep gruff voice said, making me stop in place. "I have to admit; I'm surprised you didn't show up sooner."

We all stood vigilant as our eyes were fixed on the massive man sitting on the gigantic throne. He looked like hell but remained very calm through it all, like he was prepared to meet his fate.

"Funny how destiny works, isn't it?" He continued to stir the mysterious food in the giant pot. "No matter what you try to do, it all seems to come around in your time in need."

Before I could react, Thor angrily threw his ax at Thanos, burying it deep in his chest. He flew back into the small hut, grunting and riling in pain.

Carol nodded curtly as we stalked closer to him. Thor took his ax back and buried it back into his chest, purple blood splattering everywhere."You tell me everything we want to know or I start hacking."

"Thor…" Bruce and Nat started to argue, but he didn't care. He was too focused on the soulless eyes of the man on the ground.

"What's it going to be?" He asked.

"So ungrateful. After everything, I went through to set the universe right, and this is how you repay me. "

"You've killed trillions!" Bruce yelled in frustration, "And you think we should all be grateful for that."

I couldn't let my emotions out. I had to make myself hard and empty if I was going to face the battle ahead. I had no room for empathy. I had a job to do, and there was no place for compassion. I had to close off all the emotions that made me who I was. If we were going to succeed, I needed to be a hardened shell.

I looked at his left hand and noticed that something was missing, "Where's the gauntlet?

"Gone, there was no use for it."

"What do you mean no use for it?" Thor pressed.

My heart dropped when Thanos looked up and smiled, deviously, "I destroyed them."

Rage was within me, fighting to break out, wanting to make those words untrue. But, I locked it down deep inside. If I let it loose now, I'd never been able to rein myself in. And all hope would be lost.

"You're lying, where are they?"

He said nothing. "Where are they!?"

"They're destroyed, you see what it's done to me. I don't have them."

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was telling the truth. If he could've cried, he’d be balling right about now.

"No..." I shook my head in denial, "You're lying to me!"

Nebula brushed past the crowd and knelt in front of him with a questionable look on her face, "My father is a lot of things, but a liar isn't one of them."

"Thank you daughter," He said in a hushed tone, finally succumbing to his wounds, "Perhaps I have mistreated you unfairly."

And suddenly, it was like something had snapped inside me. I shoved Nebula out and kicked him square in the face. My fury had been unleashed. A wildness erupted from me that I thought would never be tamed. I punched, kicked, everything I could to make him feel any pain. Nebula and Carol were pulling me back while the rest watched on.

"You've taken everything from me."

"It's the way life goes," He shrugged. "Nothing lasts forever."

"Your logic is faulty. What gives you the right to play God?"

Natasha placed her hands in mine for comfort, as Thanos looked up with a grim smile on his face, "I am God."

Thor quickly swung his ax at his head, and it slid off smoothly. There was a sickening crunch and crack as his head detached itself from his body. Thanos' body limped to the side before it fell completely.

"The Mad Titan has fallen," Thor stood over the body.

"What did you do?" Rocket gasped.

"What I didn't do last time." Thor walked away from Thanos' corpse, only to have Carol follow him out. "I went for the head."

Nebula fell to her knees as she stared at her father's emotionless head, "This is it; there's no hope now."

Nat placed her head in the crook of my neck, as the purple blood flowed freely out of his body.

* * *

I bit my lip as I walked through the house, letting my footsteps echo off the walls. My heart thundered in my chest when I neared the back balcony. The doors were open, allowing the warm breeze flow. It blew the drapes in a rhythmic motion that was oddly soothing.

Nat was in one of the comfortable outdoor couches, the fire pit in front of her raging with the flames lapping at the night air. A bottle of whiskey was on the table near the sofa, more than half empty. She held a large glass in her hand.

She didn't turn when my shoes clicked on the pavement, but I knew she had heard me.

"Natasha?" I called to her softly. She didn't answer. "Nat, please…"

Her face was stained with tears that had since dried, but it still hurt me like hell to see the red of her cheeks and the purple under her eyes. Seeing the woman I love cry was one of the worst pains in the world. Natasha in any distress was almost too much for me to bear.

It reminded me of Nat when she first she came home from the hospital. She pushed me away even then. I hated it, and even more, I hated that once again, there was nothing I could do to stop her pain.

"May I sit?" I asked, my voice tentative like I was walking on glass.

"If you want." She took a sip of her whiskey and sniffled.

I kept to the far side of the couch, pushing myself away from Natasha at all costs. I wanted to comfort her, wrap her in my arms, and tell her that I was sorry because I was. She was the only person in the world I could apologize to without feeling ashamed or embarrassed, and even now, the words wouldn't come. An apology didn't seem to be good enough to the right the wrong I had made her witness.

Natasha didn't raise her head to look at me, but all I wanted to see was her eyes. They would tell me how much pain she was in.

"You hungry?" I began. "I can ask Francis to make us some food."

She shook her head. "I'm fine."

That was all I got. Her tone wasn't clipped or angry. I expected more, something, anything. I needed her to let all of her emotions out.

"You can talk to me," I whispered. "Let it all out. I'm right here."

"You know I don't wear my heart on my sleeves, Rogers." She sniffled again.

"That doesn't mean you can't feel, and you're not pushing me away again. Not now."

She didn't say anything.

We sat for a long while in silence, before she spoke again, "What are we supposed to do now?" she asked quietly. "This was supposed to be our chance to make things right, and now we can't. So what do we do?"

"Whatever we can." I inched closer to her, but still kept some distance between us. "But we have to stay strong Nat. They wouldn't want us to give up like this."

She rinsed out a laugh. "I'm exhausted, Steve. I'm so tired."

"I know you are, sweetheart," I reached for her hand but pulled back thinking twice about it.

"I just want to be able to live my life for once," I felt her body come closer. "But I can't because all of my friends are dead and I'm sitting here drinking whiskey like it's some garden party.

"Nat," I got on my knees and placed my hands over hers."Some things are beyond our control."

"But this isn't."

This was when I realized Natasha was cracking before my eyes, years of pent up emotions spilling forth in a torrent of confusion. She blamed herself for what happened to Annabelle and our friends and that all hope was lost.

I had to show her that there was hope, somewhere waiting for us through this abyss.

My hands cupped her face as I pressed my forehead against hers, "We're gonna get through this."

"How do you know this?" She sighed, clasping her hands over mine.

"Because we'll be together."

"You can't promise that you don't know what could happen."

I kissed her knuckles, "I can promise you this. No matter what, I'll come back for you. I'll always find my way home...to you."

"You know I love you, right?" She whispered, smiling weakly.

"I love you too."

My phone rang in my pocket, but I didn't make a move to get it, even though I knew it was probably necessary.

I just continued to hold Nat in my arms, trying to take her pain away while she cried.


	8. VIII.

_Natasha's POV  
_ _"In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." ― Robert Frost_

* * *

 _3 YEARS LATER_  
_NEW YORK, 2023  
_ _AVENGERS HQ_

"How are things back at New Asgard?" I asked Carol, watching as a smile crept over her holographic face.

"Strange, never in a million years did I think I would be the queen of a kingdom, let along get married to a thunder god."

And never did I think that Carol and Thor would ever get married to each other. When they first met, it was an instant connection that was too powerful to break. It was astonishing to watch them build their kingdom together.

"How are the kids?"

"Tiring, they sure know how to keep a woman on her toes."

She and Thor had two girls and a boy now. I could only imagine how powerful those kids are going to be considering who their parents are. It was great to see them make the best out of this situation. Not a lot of people can say the same.

"And Thor?"

Her lips moved to a thin line, and she ran a hand through her short blonde hair, "He's...distant."

"Distant, how?" Rocket asked.

"I can tell when something is on his mind. He smiles through the pain, but I can tell what's going on. He still thinks about it."

"It's hard not to." Rhodey said, "I feel for him."

"We'll be there for you, whatever you two need." Carol nodded curtly before I moved on to the rest of the team. "Is everything alright where you guys are?"

"Nothing major, just a few unsettled storms, couple of rebellions. Nothing we can't handle over here." Okoye stated, "I wish I could assist you sister, but since the throne is vacant, I must protect my country."

"I understand completely. Anyone else?"

The rest shook their heads.

"Well, if anyone gets out of line, doing shit they're not supposed to, you call us."

Everybody nodded once again before their holographs closed.

It was only eleven in the morning, and I already felt like I had been through a full day. Papers were strewn across my large desk, and my computer screen flicked with documents of all kinds.

I sighed and took a bite out of my sandwich before noticing that Rhodey was the last person here, "Need something, Rhodes?"

He crossed his arms and shook his head, "No, just checking to make sure you're ok."

"I'm fine; thank you." I smiled, nodding at him. "Where are you?"

"Mexico, the Federales found a room full of dead bodies. Bunch of cartel guys, never even had a chance to draw their weapons."

I leaned back in my chair and shrugged, "It's probably a rival gang."

"You know it isn't Nat," Rhodey pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Clint's out of control. What he's been doing for the last couple of years is insane. And the scene he left, I hate to say it, but a part of me hopes we don't find him."

I couldn't respond to that. There was a small part of me too that didn't want to find Clint either. But I couldn't abandon him, not now when he was so lost out there., killing out of blind rage. He needed me, and I was going to find him. He would've done it for me.

"Well, you find out where he's going next." I took another bite out of my sandwich.

"Nat..."

"Please."

He gave me a reluctant nod and left. And as soon as he left, I immediately broke down.

"What the hell are you doing, Clint?"

After a while of crying, I felt a pair of eyes burning holes in my back. It didn't take a genius to know who it was.

"I know you're here, Steve," I whispered, quickly wiping the tears away from my eyes.

I turned my head to see him pull away from the bookshelf; his sad eyes were never leaving mine. The tension-filled the air to the point that it was almost suffocating. Our separation was so far that I was getting cold over here.

I spoke first to lighten the mood, "So, how was the group therapy?"

"It was ok; everybody has their scars. Gotta take it one step at a time," Steve said, "You alright?"

I tried to crack a smile, but I failed miserably, "Never better."

He smiled weakly and tossed his keys on the table, before sitting in the chair beside me, "Come on, talk to me."

I didn't say anything for a minute as I just found myself lost in those baby blue eyes, "You know how my life was, Steve. I had nothing. No family, no home, nothing."I smiled lightly when I felt Steve's hand land on my thigh in comfort, "But I found this job, this family...you. And I grew so much as a person because of it."

"And even though they're gone," I shook my head, trying to hold back some more tears, "I'm still trying to be better."

His hand reached for mine as he slowly pulled me from my chair and onto his lap, "I think we need to get a life."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips, "You first."

He gave me a warm smile, "There's that laugh I've been waiting for."

"Thank you, I needed that." I wrapped my arms around him and laid my forehead against his.

Even after all these years, Steve was still the essential thing in the world to me. Even though, looking back, I had never really treated Steve as well as I should have. But here he was, remaining by my side through all of our heartaches and traumas so we can face them together.

He was the man of my life.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He trailed a finger down my jawline.

I moved Steve's head up so that our lips could meet and my arms encircled his neck, bringing him closer.

"So I can do that."

"How generous." I kissed him again.

"So, how is everybody doing?" Steve bent his head down and trailed a row of kisses from my neck up. "Thor and Carol doing okay?"

"Everyone's doing fine, but thinking about them has me wondering about something."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Why the hell haven't you put a ring on my finger yet, Rogers?" I asked jokingly.

"Oh believe me, with you Nat, it's only a matter of time." he chuckled. His lips vibrated against the underside of my chin. He lifted my left hand and ran a thumb over my fourth finger, "You will be my wife, Natasha Romanoff. Make no mistake about that; just be patient with me. I want to make sure everything is right."

"What are you waiting for?" I whispered.

He looked at me longingly and just smiled, "A lot of things."

"Is one of those things Peggy Carter?"

His head bowed down in shame, averting his gaze away from me, "Nat..."

"It's ok, I understand."

"Nat..." He said a lot more harshly, forcing me to look at him. "No other woman in the world could stop me marrying you. We lost our first child together, and no one could take that from us."

His hand flattened on my stomach and rubbed in a soothing, circular motion. "And...when you're ready, we'll have another child."

"Steve..."

"And if you're not, that's fine. We don't need a child to make us a whole. But know that I will marry you, Nat."

I looked into his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes and found the truth to his words. I know Steve loves me, he's shown his commitment to me for the past three years.

And he's been so patient with me, after everything I've put him through. It was only right for me to be patient with him.

"Don't keep me waiting forever, Rogers."

"Yes, ma'am." He smirked before leaning in for another kiss. Before his lips could brush mine, a constant ringing noise interrupted our moment.

"Later?" He asked.

"Definitely."

With my free hand, I swiped the audio message only for the front gate camera to appear, "Oh, hey! Hi, is anyone home?" A familiar voice yelled excitingly.

Our gazes immediately averted to the holographic screen to be greeted with the tired face of Scott Lang. He waved his arms always at the security camera, obviously trying to get our attention. "This is Scott Lang, and we met a few years ago in Germany. And I got big, Ant-Man! I know you remember that, right?"

Steve and I disentangled ourselves from each other's arms and stared at the screen in awe, "Is this a recorded message?"

"It's the front gate." I gasped.

* * *

"You alright there, Scott?" Steve asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah," He sighed before rubbing his eyes. He looks like he had been through hell, but hey, haven't we all. "Have any of you studied quantum physics?"

"Quantum what?" Steve asked.

"Alright, so about five years ago, I was in this place called the Quantum Realm. It's a microscopic universe and to get in, you have to be small."

"Hope...She's my... Hope was supposed to pull me out." His averted to his left hand where a ring resided on his finger and smiled sadly. "She never did."

"I'm sorry, must have been a rough five years."

"Except it wasn't," Scott shook his head, "To me, it was about five hours."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm saying that the rules of the quantum realm aren't like the rules up here. Everything is unpredictable." His eyes quickly averted behind me and pointed to my half-eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Is that anyone's sandwich? I'm starving."

"Help yourself," I moved out the way and watched him practically sprint to the plate.

"Ok Scott, slow down, bud," Steve pressed, "What are you talking about?"

"So..." Scott grumbled as he took a bite, "I'm saying that time works differently in the Quantum Realm. Now, we can't navigate it... but what if we did?"

Scott scrambled across the room with a look of wonder in his eyes, "I can't stop thinking about it, what if we can go back and reverse everything that happened."

"Like a time machine?" Steve quirked a brow, chuckling a little.

"As crazy as that sounds, it is like a time machine."

Steve looked at me, and for the first time in three years, I saw a glint of hope in his eyes. "We have to give it a shot."

"I agree." I walked towards him, stopping inches before we could touch. "It's too big of an opportunity to pass up."

"So who do we talk to about this?"

Steve and I shared a look, "Tony."

* * *

I watched as Steve's fingers wrapped around the steering wheel tightly as he drove, watching the dirt road ahead of him.

"Hey, you alright there?" I asked him.

He managed to place a small smile on his lips, but I could tell it was forced, "Of course."

"Rogers..."

He sighed, finally giving in, "It's been years since I've talked to him, and the last thing he said to me..."

I cradled my hands into his, "Tony loves you, Steve. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

"And what if he isn't?

"He will."

He turned his head from the road to give me a small smile, "Always the optimistic one."

"I try."

He lifted my hand and placed a soft kiss on it, "I love you, Romanoff."

I smirked and returned the gesture, "I know."

For the rest of the ride, Steve drove the Audi smoothly and steadily, letting his hands caress the steering wheel to calm his nerves. The twisted and gnarled wrought iron gates of our house were up ahead. Giant S' were warped into the metal on each side, loudly announcing who lived beyond the entrances, just in case you didn't know.

The house was beautiful, isolated, and quiet. But what did you expect, it was the home of Tony Stark after all. Nothing more, nothing less.

When we pulled to the front, Pepper was standing on the porch with a young girl perched on her hip.

"Well isn't this a pleasant surprise." She smiled at the sight of us.

"Hey, Pep." Steve smiled before pulling her in a hip crushing hug, "We've missed you."

"The feelings mutual." She chuckled, setting the little girl down. "We were just about to have lunch, you guys like pot roast?"

"Very much," Scott breathed, practically drooling at just the thought of having some real food in his stomach.

"Well, come on in," Pepper held the little girl's hand as they walked back into the house. "Wipe off your shoes."

We did as were told before looking around. Scott closed the door behind us as he let out a low whistle, "You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Stark."

"Thank you, I try to keep it clean, but I live with two children." Pepper shook her head, "Tony, we have guests!"

The little girl was sizing Steve up, circling him before stopping with a curious look on her face, "You don't seem old."

Steve bent down to her height and tilted his head, "What do you mean by that sweetheart?"

"There's a picture of you on our wall, and my daddy says you're an old man, so I guess you look good for your age."

Steve couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips, "Well, I appreciate the compliment."

"Morgan H. Stark, I thought I told you to..." We looked to the foyer and saw Tony standing by the long stairway.

He looked like he had seen a ghost, frozen in his spot, "Oh, it's you guys."

"Hey Tony," Steve greeted, standing up.

He shook himself back to life and nodded curtly, "Steve."

"Well, are you guys gonna just sit there, or are you gonna come to eat?" Pepper asked while putting the food on the table.

"Of course." I smiled, grabbing Steve by the arm to wash our hands.

Tony sat at the head of the table. Steve sat to my right and Scott on my left.

There wasn't much talking while we ate. It was bizarre and awkward, but I enjoyed it for some reason. Tony looked so uncomfortable, although he was good at hiding it.

So Nat, Steve, how have you two been? You two work it out?" Pepper asked us, taking a sip of water.

Tony nearly choked on his food, "I'm sorry, back it up, you two? Together?"

I smiled at the blush that crept up Steve's cheek. Though he had changed tremendously, he was still that innocent shy guy who thawed out of that ice years ago.

"Yes, we're together." I entwined his fingers through mine under the table.

"If it makes you feel better, I just found out twenty minutes ago," Scott shrugged his shoulders, scarfing down some more pot roast.

"Wait... does that... is Steve still a virgin?"

"Tony!" Pepper smacked his arm.

"God, kill me now." Steve hid his face in his hands.

"Don't worry, Tony. I took care of that a long time ago." I winked.

Pepper whipped her head towards me, covering Morgan's ears, "Nat!"

"Sorry." I chuckled before giving Steve a comforting squeeze on his thigh.

"But we're doing fine, we're hanging in there," Steve answered, not looking up from his plate.

Pepper's attention averted to Morgan, who was poking her food around with her fork, "Why aren't you eating,  _Bambina_?"

"Not hungry."

"Oh come on, don't you want to be big and strong one day?"

"As long as I get a juice box in the end," she giggled, forcing a laugh out of me.

Her laugh...her laugh was so beautiful, so precious. I couldn't help but think about what Annabelle would have looked like at Morgan's age. Would she grow up to look like me, like her handsome father? I guess we'll never know now, will we?

Steve placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly. His eyes didn't meet mine, but he gave me a reassuring nod.

Tony put his fork down and wiped his mouth. "So, what did you three come here for? I know you're not here for a tea party."

"No, we're here to talk about something else." Steve pressed, nudging his head towards the front door, "Privately."

'This should be good," Tony muttered mostly to himself. "I'll be back."

* * *

"We know how crazy this sounds, Tony." Steve started, "But I know you've heard crazier."

"You're right, Steve. This is crazy."

"The stones are in the past, Tony. We can go back and fix everything." Steve nodded adamantly.

"We can do this, Tony. We can make it right."

"Or we can just make matters worse." He countered.

"I don't think we will," Steve crossed his arms.

Tony chuckled a little before patting Steve's shoulders, "I got to admit, I miss that gitty optimism of yours."

"However, high hopes won't help if there's no logical, tangible for me to execute said time heist safely," Tony informed us. "I believe the most likely outcome is our collective demise."

"Tony...we have to try," I whispered. "We have to try for them."

"We did try, and we failed, Nat, " he said. "We failed."

"Look, I understand that you have a lot on the line here. You have a wife, a daughter. " Scott crossed his hands in front of him. "But we've all lost someone to this, and now we have a chance to bring them all back and you won't..."

"That's right; I won't." Tony sighed. "I'm not losing anything else in my life."

We all jumped when we heard the front door swing open, only to have Morgan run through it to lunge in her father's embrace, "Mommy told me to come and save you."

"Thank you. I'm saved." Tony stood up with Morgan in his arms and pushed his chair away from the table. "I wished you guys had come for that tea party."

"Tony," Steve grabbed his arm softly, "I understand. And I'm happy for you, but this is our second chance."

"This is my second chance, Cap. I'm not blowing this one."

He escorted us out.

"He's just scared." I sighed.

"But he has a point."

"We can't just give up, we need him," Scott sighed. "So what do we do now?"

Steve and I looked at each other before nodding in sync, "I think it's time to get the team back together."


	9. IX.

_Thor's POV  
_ _"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."_ _— Douglas Adams_

* * *

**_NEW ASGARD_ **

"Thor, I don't know why you always wait to do these things," Valkyrie snarled from behind me.

"Because I keep forgetting."

"If I were Carol, I would chop your balls off."

"I have it handled," I nodded curtly. "Make sure the front guards are on their toes while I'm gone. You call me if anything goes sideways."

"Fine, but I'm not babysitting."

"I've got that covered." I waved her off. "Thank you."

When she left, I ran my hands through my hair and sighed, a habit that wouldn't ever set me free.

It was only eleven in the morning, and I already felt like I had been through a full day.

"Okay, Thor, you have that taken care of," I said to myself, checking things off of my mental list. "What next?"

A small giggle interrupted my thoughts. I sat up a little straighter, listening for it again. Maybe I was going crazy.

I smiled slightly when I saw ten small digits curl around the edge of my throne. A shock of blonde hair followed, and then brown eyes. The head ducked down quickly, giggling again.

"Who might that be?" I tapped my fingers against the armrest.

"Shhhhh." Another voice was added to the first.

"Oh, two of them?" I got up from my throne and strolled around behind it, being sure my feet made heavy sounds.

Their giggling got louder as they ran away from me.

"You'll never catch us!" Astrilde darted across the room, her long blonde hair flowing as she ran. Frigga chased after her, but she wasn't as fast. I snatched her up by her ankle and held her in the air.

"And what exactly are you two doing?" I asked.

"We're bored. Take us to the combat zone." She smiled. "Please."

"You know I can't do that." I swung her from side to side, her arms flung around. Her shirt fell, revealing her stomach, which I poked. "I have plans today."

"You always have plans to do." Astrilde skipped out of the bathroom, dancing around in a light blue, dress.

I set Frigga down on the floor. Her pale face had turned a tomato red, and she swayed from side-to-side, trying to get her bearings.

"Mother says we're here so you can relax. You're not relaxing," Astrilde said, very matter-of-factually.

"Well, your mother forgets that I can't take breaks as she can." I sat back down in my chair. They came over to me, looking just as identical as the day they were born. Everything about them was the same. It was eerily shocking at times.

"But you promised you would take us," Frigga pouted.

"Did I?" I scratched my chin. "As I recall, you didn't want to go because you were afraid of the wolves."

"No, that was Astrilde," she protested.

"Was not!" she shouted. "I'm not afraid, father."

They began to argue in their language, which I would never be able to understand. They talked so fast that it was impossible to catch. When the argument got physical, I lifted Frigga and placed her on the other side of the throne.

"She started it." She crossed her arms. Her face became crinkled, a trait that the kids picked up from Carol.

"I will take you guys out to do something fun tomorrow. You mother and I are having dinner tonight."

"Oh, can we come?" Astrilde climbed into my lap.

"Not."

"Why?" Frigga asked.

"Because we need a night away. You are driving us insane," I joked, even though it was true. At some times, I might go insane. No one said raising kids was easy, but I didn't know it would be this hard either. Carol was the only thing that kept me smiling through most of it.

"You can help Korg make a cake," I said, hoping to cheer them up. They weren't allowed to have sweets often, so it was a treat.

"Really?" Astride's blue eyes shone. "Let's go find him, Frigga."

She jumped from my lap and clasped hands with her sister, all thoughts of an argument forgotten. They began to charge out of the room.

"Where's your mother?" I called after them.

"Outside!"

I sighed and collapsed further into my chair. Maybe I could take a small break? I deserved one after the morning I'd had.

Why the hell not...

I got up from my throne and stretched out my aching muscles. With less than four hours of sleep last night, my body was not happy with me at the moment.

Over the years, I had cut back a lot on my workload at for my kingdom. I realized that I needed to make a decision. I couldn't run an empire while also adventuring at the same time. I was starting to waste away.

While Carol and I were away, the kingdom was managed by Valkyrie. She was the most organized person I knew, and I couldn't think of anyone better to take over my role while I was away. Of course, I still consulted on everything, but I rarely had to question her motives. It wasn't necessary. She kept everything from falling apart while I worked on... other aspects of my life.

After what happened with... _him,_ I was lost. And I almost gave up on all hope of things ever getting better.

Carol...Carol was a savior. She did everything she could to help me during that year, and it was her faith and healthy heart that got me through it.

I owed Carol Danvers my life.

"And yet, you forgot our anniversary," I scolded myself, shaking my head.

I took the stairs two at a time and glided into the front foyer on the newly polished hardwood floors before going outside. The kingdom looked glorious, and the sun was brightly shining, making the air unseasonably hot for an April morning.

It was nearly impossible for me to pick my kingdom up from the ground. I almost didn't... It was just... too much for me. But once again, Carol Danvers was the one who pulled me out of the slump.

I found myself a lot less stressed and able to breathe these days. Life was a lot better, and I had to admit.

As better as it could get anyway...

I rounded the cathedral and began to hear the soft waves of the lake lapping at the rocky shore. I saw Carol down the beach, holding the hands of our one-year-old as he walked on the sand. He was still a little shaky upon two legs.

Loki spotted me first and began bouncing on his feet. His smile was infectious, and I squatted down so that he could walk towards me. Carol let him go, and he stumbled into my arms before I lifted him.

"You're getting so good." I kissed his chubby cheeks.

His hair was the strangest color I had ever seen: a bronze that wasn't quite as light as mine, but a blonde not as bright as Carol's. And his eyes weren't of either of us. They were my brothers bright green. We thought they would change as the months went on but never did.

"Loki has had quite the morning." Carol walked up to me, carrying their shoes. "He found his first fish and tried to eat it."

"Well, he's a growing boy. Always hungry."

"I feed him enough." She pulled me down by my arm until our lips touched. "I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I know." I sat on the sand, pulling Loki into my lap. Carol followed and scooted up next to me.

Three years had done nothing to her. She looked almost the same as ever. No lines on her face or signs of aging. Well, I didn't see any, but she assured me they were there. And her body... I won't even begin to discuss that subject, or my mind might go to very inappropriate places.

"Happy anniversary," I whispered to her, bouncing Loki on my lap.

Carol froze. "Oh, is it?"

"Yes."

"Thor, I am so sorry. I forgot." She looked nearly panicked. "I've just been so busy trying to get the kids..."

"Carol, don't worry about it," I chuckled, interrupting her before she pulled her hair out. I didn't think she needed to know that I forgot as well. "We've all been busy."

"But that's no excuse. I feel so bad." She covered her mouth as if she was in shock.

"Honestly, it's not that big of a deal. I think the law allows us to forget a maximum of two anniversaries throughout our life."

She giggled at my horrible attempt at a joke. "Well, thank you, and happy anniversary."

"I've made reservations for us in town for dinner."

Carol nodded. "That sounds nice."

Loki began to reach for his mother, and I handed him over as he started making gurgling noises. I never thought that I would have even one child, let alone three. But Loki was certainly a surprise, just like the twins. I had a far better reaction this time around.

I wasn't as confused and could comprehend this pregnancy more rationally. Carol was over the moon, and when Loki was born, I had never seen her cry so much. She promised me they were happy tears.

We never really talked about how many kids we wanted or when we should stop, but I figured we weren't stopping any time soon. Carol was such a good mother; it would be a waste not to let have more. I was okay with that... I think. I was sure I could handle more.

"You're smiling again," Carol pointed out.

"Am I?" I looked out at the lake. It was so peaceful here.

"You do that a lot more often nowadays."

"I have more to smile about than I used to," I told her truthfully.

"Do you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

She was about to say something else, but we were interrupted by Frigga who ran towards us on the beach. "Father, some big green man, and his companion are here to see you and mother!"

You've got to be kidding me...

"Come on, let's get you two inside. I don't want him getting too much sun." I took Loki from Carol and helped her up. She held my hand as we walked back towards the cathedral.

And sure enough, Bruce was waiting in the family room, playing some game with Astrilde and Frigga sitting on his lap.

"Wow, you have such a huge face." Astrilde rubbed her palm over Bruce's cheek. You could almost see him melt on the spot.

"Oh, thank you, and yours is so...tiny?" Bruce replied.

"Nice line, shit bag." Rocket rolled his eyes.

Frigga and Astrilde gasped.

"You said a bad word, fur face. You owe them money for the swear jar." Carol sat in one of the comfy chairs, placing Loki on the floor, who began crawling around.

"You shitting me?" Rocket gasped.

"That's another one." Frigga pointed out. "We're going to be rich."

After a while of shuffling, Rocket gave them each a fifty dollar bill. "Spend it wisely. Buy a spaceship or a prostitute."

"What's a prostitute?" Astrilde asked.

I had to stop this before it got out of hand. I lifted her off of Bruce's lap. "You two go upstairs and practice your piano."

Astrilde took off, her question forgotten, but Frigga rolled her eyes and acted as if her feet were made of lead. She knew better than to say anything.

"You need to watch your mouth, rabbit," I hit him across the back of his head. "They soak up everything, and I don't want to have a conversation about hookers with my daughters."

"I can't help it." He shrugged innocently.

"You most certainly can help it." Carol shook her head.

"So what brings you by my humble home?" I sat on the arm of the chair that Carol was in.

"You haven't heard? We're getting the old team back together." Rocket kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

"What?"

"Romanoff and her kick-ass boyfriend have found a way to fix everything that happened to our friends."

I didn't miss the way Bruce winced at the word 'boyfriend.'

I sighed heavily, "We don't have time for this; we have plans."

"Thor," Bruce sat up straighter. "Please listen for a moment."

Carol picked Loki up from the floor. "I'll give you three time to catch up. If you'll excuse me, it's time for a feeding and then a nap."

Carol left a long, lingering kiss on my lips before leaving the room.

"Why are you here?" I sank into the chair. "It better be for a good reason."

"Romanoff said something about a time machine, thinks we can go back fix the past," Rocket answered bluntly.

"What?"

"There's this place called the Quantum Realm, a place where we can go back and grab the stones before Thanos can."

"I can't go with you guys, and my kids need me."

"Is it about the kids, or are you afraid?" Bruce boldly asked.

"And why the hell would I be afraid of that guy? Hmm? I'm the one who killed that guy remember?" I retorted. "Did you kill Thanos?"

He remained silent.

"That's what I thought." I got off the couch and walked towards the foyer of the cathedral, "Send Rogers and Romanoff my love. I have a date."

* * *

"We could have just stayed at home. I wouldn't mind," Carol said.

"No, no. Of course not."

I could have taken her to a much fancier place, but she said the 169 Bar was all she needed.

The place was relatively small and intimate, candlelit with soft music playing throughout. It was kind enough outside that I requested a table on the patio, and we were situated in a secluded corner.

"This is wonderful," Carol ordered a beer as soon as she sat down.

"Just something small for our anniversary."

"Three years and counting." She sighed. "You've put me through a hell of a lot."

I had to stop myself from hanging my head physically. She was so forgiving and patient and... perfect.

"If you were any lesser women, my ass would have been on the curb," I admitted. "Thank you for putting up with me."

"Thank you for dealing with my horrible pregnancy mood swings."

I laughed and nodded. "True. You get as bad as me when you're pregnant."

We spent dinner, just talking. Sometimes there would be lulls in the conversation, but it was never awkward or forced. It felt nice to eat without kids. I forgot what silence sounded like. By the time our tenth bottle of beer was finished, I was more than a little horny.

As soon as the door closed to our room, the clothes started coming off.

"Thor, slow down. You're going to rip my arms off." She stumbled away from me as my hands fumbled with her bra.

"Danvers..." I groaned, feeling cold with her being across the room.

"Patience is a virtue, Odinson." She stepped out of her heels.

"Not tonight," I fell on the bed, trying to get my belt off.

"Fair enough." She had since disregarded all of her clothes and climbed on top of me. The lace of her underwear rubbed against my exposed stomach as my shirt rode up my body.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" She began kissing my neck, teasing me with her lips.

"God, I need this." I sighed in pleasure.

"You want to talk about it?" She breathed against my skin.

"Not now."

"Later then."

My clothes were slowly removed by her torturous hands that teased me so horribly.

She climbed up my body, sexy as hell, and leaned forward. I felt her breath wash over my face as my own stopped entirely. My whole body shut down… my heart, lungs… even my thoughts froze at that moment as I waited for Carol's lips to touch mine again. My self-control was gone.

Her soft lips descended, and my body kick-started into a hot-blooded frenzy. Her kiss was hesitant at first, a mere brush of warm lips, but when I moaned in response, my fingers went into her hair, locking her into me.

Her teeth grated against my bottom lip, then my tongue, and I opened to welcome her, my hands trailing up her thighs. Her backside sat high in the air, and I pulled down to meet my waist. She yelped in surprise at the contact, but I wouldn't let go.

My whole body reacted to the touch of her against me. She gasped lightly as my firm erection nestled between her legs.

"I need you now." She pulled at my hair.

"Not yet. It's been too long." I flipped us over skillfully so that she was staring up at me with erotic eyes.

I smirked and bent down to trail my lips along her neck, planting wet, nibbling kisses from her shoulder, up to her ear, then back again.

"God. You're killing me," she groaned, her skin slowly igniting at the feeling as mine did the same.

The feeling of us doing this was indescribable. The power that surged through our bodies was electric and earth breaking. Almost literally in fact.

My work was quick, speedy because I didn't have the time to lavish her right now. We both let the coil go in our bodies, almost bringing the walls down with our movements.

I collapsed on top of her, sweaty body against sweaty body. Her small limbs clung to me, forcing us to get tangled within the messy sheets.

"OK, I'm ready to talk."

She chuckled, "I know." She glided her naked body against mines and rested her chin on my chest, "What's going on, Thor?"

"For the past five years of my life, I can't stop thinking about how I failed everyone. I failed my friends, my brother, my father. I was in a dark place at that time." I smiled weakly as I brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Until I met you."

"You've given me so much in so little time, you've given my people more than I could ever ask for. And now...they come back after everything is finally back on track, to say that we have to take back what we've built over the years."

"Thor... I know you're scared." She cupped my chin, forcing me to face her. "But this isn't about you or us. This is about doing what's right."

"I already failed the world once, and I don't want to do it again."

"We won't."

"And if we do?"

She shrugged and smirked, "We'll do it together."

"You're amazing; you know that?"

"Of course I know that, but it sounds better coming from you.

I smiled against her skin and kissed anywhere I could reach, grateful to have an extraordinary woman in my life.

* * *

Steve's POV

Natasha's body shivered as her wet skin glided against mine in the small tub.

"Relax, Nat." I rubbed her shoulders, causing goosebumps to rise under my fingers. She shivered slightly but did what I asked.

A sigh escaped her perfect lips as my fingers ran through her scalp, gently washing her hair. I worked my hands to the base of her neck and back, and she purred. She moved toward my hands, her back arched and her shoulders tense.

"How do you know exactly what I need before I need it?" She asked, kissing the backside of my hand.

"It's simple," I smirked. "I know you better than anyone else in the world."

Natasha was leaving today to find Clint. He wasn't doing too well. According to Rhodes, Clint had become a heartless stone-cold killer, but Nat saw something else, hope. She was adamant about whether she wanted to find him or not but knowing her, she was going to see him set things right.

"You know I can come with you, right?" I whispered, running the sponge along with her arm.

The soft petals caressed my skin as its sweet fragrance, mingling with the honey and vanilla, surrounded my senses.

I watched her chest rise and fall with her shallow breaths, and I could feel a stir within myself.

"This is something I have to do alone, Steve." She sighed as she held my arms tightly against her breasts, holding me close to her.

"I know," I sighed, running my hand slowly down from her shoulder to her ribs. I knew better than to argue with Nat when she had her mindset on something.

"Thank for you for understanding."

I leaned my head against hers. "Of course."

"Clint's not himself right now." She sighed again. "I need to get to Japan to knock some sense into him."

"He's lost so much, Nat, in such little time." I kissed her shoulder and the junction her neck, "Remind you of someone?"

She nodded her head slowly, looking down towards the faint color of our hands entwined together under the water. "We have to be there for him, show him that he still has a family in us."

Natasha looked up to me with a faint smile as her left hand touched my chin, and she kissed me softly. I hadn't even realized that she had moved onto me fully until I felt her breasts gliding up and down my bare torso.

Her hands cupped both sides of my face, "I'm so lucky to have you in my life."

"I believe that's my line." I moved my hand to the faded scar on her cheek before brushing the length of her jaw, "Clint's gonna be alright, Nat."

"I believe you."

And just like that, the spell was broken. Nat and I got dressed in silence. Nat went back to the bathroom to freshen up, and when she came back out, I was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, her bag in hand.

The drive to the HQ was sweet and silent as Nat held my hand tightly the entire ride. With my arms around his waist. She didn't want to let go. I didn't want her to let go. It wasn't that we were saying goodbye to each other, but she was going to be far away. We weren't quite ready for that.

As soon as we got there, I immediately held her in my arms. "Don't worry about a thing, Nat. Everything's going to be alright.

She smiled weakly in acknowledgment and kissed my jaw. I rested my forehead against mine and inhaled deeply, memorizing her vanilla scent.

She leaned up and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips and said, "Love you, Rogers."

"Love you more, Romanoff."

And just like that, she was gone.

Even within minutes she was gone, my thoughts never stopped lingering on her. But I had faith in Natasha. She's done the impossible before, why shouldn't she do it again.

Walking down the HQ hallway, I couldn't help but notice how everything seemed to look. The place was empty, and I couldn't reminisce for when things were so much brighter when the place was filled happy recruits, smiling secretaries... a happy family.

God, how did things get messed up so fast?

" _What am I even tripping for, everything is going to go exactly as planned_." I heard Tony's voice to the side of the board room. "  _I love you 3000._ "

He was at a table in the corner and didn't even bother standing or acknowledging me when I sat down. He sighed before turning off his helmet that was recording his message.

"Something I can do for you, old man?" He sighed, tapping his fingers on the desk.

"No," I smiled weakly. "Just checking on a friend."

He stood up and poured us a tall glass of red wine. "I'm quite fine. Possibly heading to my ultimate demise, but fine."

"I know this has to be tough on you, Tony. Leaving Pepper and your little girl."

"I couldn't rest knowing that I could make this right. Pepper understood like she always does." He shrugged.

We were silent for a while. There were no words exchanged, but I was determined to make things right between us.

"So... Pepper told me about the baby, Nat's miscarriage." Tony leaned forward, exhaling deeply. "I'm so sorry, Cap."

"Thank you, Tony," I whispered, not letting myself falter.

"I can't imagine the toll it must have taken on the two of you."

"After everything that happened... I thought Annabelle could fill that void that was in our hearts."

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, sighing. "And then she was gone before I knew it."

"Steve..."

"I wasn't even there to help her!" I slammed my fist down on the table, shaking the glasses and silverware on top. "If it wasn't for that simple recon mission, I could have been there for them. Maybe I could have..."

"No, don't go there. It was a blood clot, Steve. There was nothing you could have done."

"I let her die, Tony. My baby girl needed me, and I wasn't there to protect her. How else am I supposed to see it?"

Tony smiled sadly before awkwardly placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, "You loved her, didn't you?"

"Of course, I did."

"You cherished every small moment you and Nat had with her, didn't you?"

"I did."

"Then you did your job, Steve. You're her father, and she's your daughter. And that's something nobody could ever take away from you."

He was right. Five years and all I needed was a simple conversation from the infamous Tony Stark. For years... for years I've had continuously these what-if thoughts that lingered in my brain.

What if I had made it in time?

What if I had never left on that recon mission?

What if it wasn't a placental abruption that killed my daughter?

But the one thing...the one thing that kept eating away at me, was what if my little girl was still alive, out there somewhere?

I know that she's gone and she's not coming back. But I can't help but think that she's out there... somewhere. She is just waiting for me to go for her.

She didn't get a chance to live her life, but she would be immortalized in mines and Natasha.

She would want me to move on and make the best out of this situation.

And I knew where to start...

"Steve?"

"Can I confess something, Tony?" I asked abruptly.

He nodded.

"I know I let you guys down. I know that over the past couple of years, things haven't been as smooth as they should have been and I take full responsibility for that. Between you and me, and everything that's been going on here, I've lost my way. I was so stubborn and selfish that I wasn't looking at the big picture. I've let everyone down."

Tony looked like he wanted to stop me, but his mouth wouldn't let him.

"We have a chance, Tony. We have a chance to fix everything... including this."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm willing to anything to get our team... our family, back on track. Whether it's to sign the accords or whatever the case may be. I'm willing to meet in the middle."

"How long have you been thinking about this?" Tony cleared his throat.

"For a while," I admitted. "Things are changing out there, and I know you haven't had the chance to dive into that side of your life since you and Pep had the baby, but we can't stop. Not now. We have to stick together, Tony."

"Yeah, we do." He crossed his hands together to appear calm.

"And this time, when this is over, we'll be a team again. Just like I promised." I held my hand out towards him.

A sly smirk came over his lips as he looked at me my hand fondly, "Alright, old man. I'll take your word for it."

And his hands clasped mine, solidifying our bond and friendship.

"So, when and are you Romanoff getting married?"

"What?" I choked on my wine.

"Oh, come on," Tony rolled his eyes. "You mean to tell you guys have been together for almost ten years and not once has marriage crossed your mind."

Believe me, Tony. That thought has been racing through my mind for years now, now even more these days.

"Well, I feel like we're already heading in that direction," I shrugged. "I just don't know what's stopping me from making that move."

"It's simple; you're hanging on to the past."

"What?"

"You've has this picture in your mind for so long that Peggy would always be the woman of your life. She was the first woman you fell in love with, and the plans you had with her are still in the back of your mind. You're afraid that if you move on with Natasha, those plans will be on hold just like they were Peggy.

I hated to admit it, but Tony was right. I've always dreamed of the day when Peggy and I would reunite. I would climb out of that ice, run straight to that club... and see her, embrace her, and dance the dance we never had the chance to.

But time wasn't on our side.

And then there's Nat. The woman who made my life worth living after everything we've been through. We fought together; we mourned together; we lost a child together. Through all of that, we were still together, more in love with each than we've been before.

Natasha was the love of my life, and she was the number one woman for me.

"I love her, Tony. I love her with everything in me." I said softly. "But I can't lose her. I won't."

"You can't be afraid of that, Steve. You can't let your fear stop you from living, and you have to follow your heart. She's not gonna be around forever."

And suddenly it was like something clicked in my brain, "You're right."

"So?"

"I'm gonna do it. I'm asking Natasha to marry me."

Tony smiled with pride as he took a sip of his wine, "Good for you, Cap."

The phone ringing interrupted our moment, "It's Pepper." He excused himself out.

I couldn't help but smile at the thought it.

Natasha Rogers... wow.

"My life will never be the same," I said to myself. "Get ready, Romanoff. You're gonna be a married woman soon."

My eyes suddenly landed on Tony's helmet, as it stared at me blankly. A particular thought popped into my head as I reached behind and pressed the small button beneath it.


	10. X.

_Natasha's POV_  
_"Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can."— Nicholas Sparks_

* * *

_**TOKYO** _

I was quiet throughout the flight to Tokyo. I stared out the window, watching the take-off and landing. I was going through the motions, but my mind was numb, blank. I was over a thousand miles away, but my heart was in the great city of New York, where the love of my life resides. An empty shell was all that remained.

When I landed, I hitched a taxi that took me to a local hotel where I checked in for a couple of nights. Sleep was my top priority before I could regroup and decide on our next course of action.

I looked around and saw the two generic queen-sized beds. After a cursory glance at our temporary surroundings, I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

Behind closed doors, my walls came crashing down around me. I fell to the floor, too tired and weak to carry my weight, and I cried. Any semblance of strength I had in front of Steve was now gone. I cried out with the force of my heart breaking into millions of jagged pieces. I cried until my throat was dry and cracked, and my body shook uncontrollably.

The floodgates had opened, and I was helpless to close them again. Apart from me didn't even want to. I was exhausted, and I wanted nothing more than to give in to the overwhelming despair. Fighting it was too hard. I didn't think I had the strength left to keep fighting it. The cold from the tile floor seeped into my body, chilling me to the bone. But I didn't care. I was numb; freezing from the inside out. I cried for myself and everyone I loved, shaking with fear and dread.

I don't know how long I was in that bathroom. Time ceased to have any meaning for me. But, when the bulk of my tears had abated, I sat there, in a deadened haze, sucking in heaving breaths. It was at that point that I heard a noise.

I ran to my phone and answered it with a shaky voice.

"Nat, honey, what is it?" I sighed and smiled when I heard Steve's voice on the other end. He reacted immediately to the fearful tenor of my voice.

"Oh, God, Steve, it's nothing. I'm just acting like a child."

"What are you freaking out about?" he asked, not satisfied with my answer. "What's going on?"

"It's stupid. I just..."

There was a loud knock at the door. "What was that?" Steve asked. His tone changed.

"Must be room service. I'll be right back." I dropped the phone to my side just as Steve said, "Wait, Nat…"

I turned the knob and slowly started to open the door.

My heart skipped a beat, and I froze in my tracks when a loud, clear voice called out, "You didn't think you'd get away from me that easily, did you?"

I closed my eyes, thinking I was dreaming. But I heard a deep-throated chuckle and knew that I was wide awake.

I turned back towards the door, and gasped at the sight, "After everything we've been through together, there's no way in hell I'm going to let you face this alone."

My jaw dropped, and my body began to shake. My cell phone clattered to the floor, having fallen from my limp hand. My Steve was standing at my door. His cell phone was pressed against his ear, and he had an honest to God beautiful smile on his face. I covered my mouth with my hands. I was in shock. I couldn't even find my voice.

"Miss me?" He pressed end on the call and pocketed his phone.

Words refused to come, but my thoughts were flying furiously. He crossed the threshold, threw his bag to the floor, and kicked the door closed behind him. He stalked towards me slowly, predatorily, his eyes never once leaving mine. I was mesmerized by him.

He was so close that I could feel the heat coming off of his body. He reached for me and pulled me hard against his chest. I whimpered, practically panting for more of his touch, to breathe him in, to get lost in a tangle of limbs.

"You're here?" I asked, still not believing.

He brushed a strand of hair away from my face and smiled softly, "I didn't want you to be alone."

I smiled and held onto his hands, "Oh?"

"You must have missed me." His lips ghosted over mines.

"Why don't you touch me and find out," I whispered.

"Yes, ma'am." His voice was deep and sexy, and it had me wanting to tear off my clothes.

Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, that the anticipation would cut off all oxygen to the brain, Steve crashed his lips down onto mine.

And just like that, we were a mess of severed limbs and gasping breaths. He pressed his body to mine and kissed me. His kiss was rough, urgent, his tongue probing and teasing. And then I was in his arms, clawing and pulling him closer; always closer. He held me as though I weighed nothing at all. He ran his hands through my hair before moving down my body, cupping my ass in his hands, squeezing and kneading my flesh. I wrapped my legs around his waist, moving up and down in his arms, grinding myself against the zipper of his pants. I drank him in like I was dying of thirst.

Steve's kisses were like taking a deep breath after being deprived of oxygen. He bit my lower lip, sucking it into his mouth in what seemed like an attempt to devour me whole. I melted into him, giving him everything and anything he needed. I pulled away from his lips to catch my breath, and he blazed a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down my throat. I pulled the band out of his hair and let the silky strands fall around his face. My fingers got tangled and lost as I pulled his mouth hungrily back to mine.

My skin tingled, and my very core throbbed and ached for more contact. Our bodies were flush together, yet it wasn't enough. I was moaning, whimpering mess. I could feel his heart thumping in his chest. I writhed in his arms in an attempt to increase the friction between my legs.

He pushed me up against the wall. I grunted at the impact. He moved as a man possessed, and I was thrilled and excited by his need for me. He leaned in, pinning me to the wall with his massive body.

He pressed his knee between my legs. My eyes flew open, and I moaned as he rotated his hips, blood rushing to my core. I was burning up. I mewled with need. We tore at each other's clothes until we were both naked above the waist. He paused, taking the time to devour me with his eyes. The depth of his desire had me reeling. I couldn't think, let alone speak. My hands found their way back into his hair as I pulled him down into a thoroughly passionate kiss.

His hands were everywhere, groping and kneading my breasts and every so often slipping between my legs to stroke my aching core through my pants. I was being driven beyond the point of sanity.

Then as if shit couldn't get worse, my phone rung violently.

"Leave it," Steve grunted, kissing the navel of my breasts.

My hands roamed hungrily over his broad chest and traveled down along the ridges of his abdomen. I bit my lip, thinking of all the things I wanted to do to him; all the things I'd wanted to do to him for months, but couldn't.

My hands shot to his belt, fumbling awkwardly in my haste when the phone rung again.

"It's probably James. It could be about... ahh!" I yelped in pleasure when he sucked the junction of my neck.

"Leave it." I leaned down and sucked his bottom lip gently, nearly taking it off his face. Of course, the phone rung again.

I growled in frustration and hopped off Steve's lap to pick up the phone, "What?"

"Ummm, am I interrupting something?" James' voice rung on the other side.

"No, what is it?"

"Got a read on Clint, he's downtown right now as we speak. If you want to get the jump on him, now's the time."

"I'm on it." I quickly hung up before sharing a glance with Steve.

"Rain check?" Steve smirked, slowly putting back on his t-shirt.

I smirked back and kissed him, chastely, "Definitely."

"Let's go get our friend."

* * *

Steve and I prowled the dark alleyways, waiting for a sign of anything out of the ordinary. The Shinobu Gang, we were in their stronghold, on their turf. The Shinobu gang is one of the deadliest gangs in Tokyo. Drug cartels, mass murders, human trafficking. Your average gangs.

And Clint was taking them all down.

He was pushed too far. There was no going back until every last one of them was dead. He lost everything so they wouldn't live to see another day.

With every step I took, I felt him. He was so close that I thought him. He needed me. It was my job to answer his call.

Our feets slapped against the cold, wet pavement. Thoughts of Clint clouded my mind. He was nearly far gone. I'd failed him. I'd let him down.

I heard footsteps around the corner, and my adrenaline kicked in. I closed my eyes a moment to savor the anticipation. Whoever or whatever came down that hallway was going to regret it. I quickly squeezed Steve's hand before we both got to work.

A man in a black leather jacket bounded towards me, careless within the presumed safety of his territory. Steve and I emerged from the shadows, revealing our location. He stopped dead in his tracks; brown eyes opened wide in disbelief. Yeah, that's how they all looked before their bones were going to break. He was no different from the rest.

He gathered his senses, crouched low, and ran at me. I didn't have time to relish the victory. Clint needed me. He was just one more obstacle standing in my way. And that was a dangerous place for him to be.

I made as though I was bracing for the impact, when, in fact, I was getting ready to spring. Wait for it, I thought. Wait for it. At the last second, right before we would've collided, I sprang, lunging my foot right at his chest.

It was over in a matter of seconds. Steve quickly knocked him out and left his unconscious body in the middle of the street.

I gave him a curt nod and stalked down the street; following the path the bastard had taken. They kept leading me down, down, closer to the very heart of the city. Half the warehouse was already on fire. The walls and floors above me shook and wood and stone crumbled down. The place was falling to ruins around me.

Dozens of men had tried to take Steve and me, and none of them succeeded. They were in a sinking ship, and they had no idea the boat was on fire. Ashes and smoke. That's all that Clint left behind, and that was all that would remain. I moved deeper and deeper into the bowels of this hateful place.

Three more people rounded the corner. I knew without a doubt that they would fail just like the rest. Nothing was stopping me from saving my friend.

It was then when I heard his voice, "What I want, you can't give me."

My eyes averted up to see him, right in front of me. His back was turned to me as a helpless man was on knees, practically begging for his life. Blood was coated over throat and lips. There was no hope for him, but at least we could stop Clint doing any more damage to him.

"Clint, stop!" Steve yelled.

He froze for a moment before yielding his sword, kicking the wounded man down. A sigh escaped through his lips as he ripped the mask off his face, his hair mopped down from the pouring rain. "You two shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you."

He fumbled with his gloves, sighing again. "If you both don't mind, I have a job to do."

"That's what you call this?" I stepped forward as Steve matched my movement. "Killing these people isn't gonna bring your family back, Clint."

"Nat..."

"We've found something." I moved again, "A chance...maybe."

He looked at me, really looked at me and I nearly broke down. He was torn, years of heartache and pain had taken a toll on him. He wasn't the Clint I remember.

"Don't, Nat, please don't."

"Don't what?" I whispered.

"Don't give me hope."

Tears threatened to leave my eyes, "I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner."

And before he could react, I pulled him into my arms and held him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Clint."

After a while, he finally hugs me back, wrapping his arms around my waist, "I missed you, Nat."

"I missed you too." I sighed into his shoulder. I looked over to see Steve smiling at us.

I smiled back before extending an arm, inviting him to join in. I sighed in content when I felt Steve's arms wrap around both of us, happy to have my two boys back in my life.

* * *

"The soul stone is conscious; it has a desire to collect souls. For the soul stone to be collected, you must..." I sighed when I felt strong arms around my waist, and soft lips kiss my neck. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I've been looking for you." He kissed my neck again. "Ready to go home?"

"I was just reading the mission summary on the soul stone."

His hands brushed mine as he turned off the tablet and set it on the board room table, "No more of that. Tonight is a carefree night."

He stooped down to my level, his dark eyes boring into mine. His warm hands caressed the sides of my face, and his thumb brushed gently across my lower lip. I met his gaze, unable to look away. He was so active, so brave in the face of all my fear and doubt.

"Everything will be fine.” He whispered, and I believe him.

On our way to home, Steve held my hand in his, and I thought about how much things would change once we go through that portal. Would life be the same, would it be different, would it be better, would it be worse? So many questions that I needed answers to.

The planning process for this week was brutal; it was nonstop planning, continuous testing. It was chaos. Everybody had their missions, their teams.

Reality Stone: Thor and Rocket.

Power Stone: Nebula and Rhodes.

Time Stone: Bruce

Mind and Space: Steve, Tony, and Scott.

And finally, the Soul Stone: Clint, Carol and me.

There was something that wouldn't just stop nagging in the back of my head, what the soul stone needed: a soul.

A soul.

A soul.

That one word didn't sit right with me. The soul stone required a soul for us to understand it's power, which meant that someone wasn't coming home when this was all over.

Which meant that  _I might_ not come back home... to Steve.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Steve's voice brought me back to the here and now. He took his eyes off the road for a moment and flashed me his gorgeous grin. I couldn't help but smile in return. "I was just thinking of how everything is going to change for us," I said.

"Yeah, it is."

"I don't know if that's a good thing."

"You never know, give it a chance." His tone had me staring hard at him. I could tell he was excited about something, and it wasn't just my commencement. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Gotta have faith, right?"

"You're up to something." I was sure of it. I just had no idea what "it" was. After all this time, I still wasn't all that big on surprises, though I had warmed up to them a bit.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied. I was about to argue when the car came to a stop. "We're home," he said.

He hurriedly hopped out the car to open the door for me.

Foolishly, I let Steve cover my eyes before I could walk through the apartment building.

"Seriously, Steve?"

"Trust me; it'll be worth it."

After a few moments of shuffling, Steve moved his hands from my eyes,  making me stop on my trail. The couch in the living room was covered in plush velvets and silks. Surrounding the room was hundreds of burning white candles of various sizes along with rose petals ranging the colors of the setting sun.

My heart skipped a beat, and I gasped for breath.

"Steve?"

He smiled lightly as he started to move back. I began to follow, but then he got down on one knee, and I froze.

Steve's face turned serious, and I could see that the nerves from earlier had returned. He fidgeted for a moment and pulled a small, delicate ring out of his pocket. My hands flew to my mouth as happy tears formed in my eyes.

He held the ring up with a small smile. "I know it's not much," he said. "But my dad gave it to my mom when they got married, and I thought you would like it."

I was stunned. I couldn't even speak. I didn't care what the ring looked like, but I loved that it held so much meaning for him. I started to cry, unable to hold the tears back any longer. Steve was proposing to me. After everything we'd been through, the good and the bad, we were finally at the point where we were going to make an official, life-long commitment to each other. I'd never been happier.

"Nat," he began, "you are…"

"Stop."

"What?" He scrambled to his feet, panic in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

I looked up at his beautiful face and caressed his cheek. I smiled through my tears. "I don't need the words, Steve. I don't need to hear how you feel about me. I know everything you're about to say. You show me every single day. And it's exactly how I feel about you. I don't need the words, and I know you're committed to me and only me."

He smiled that dazzling smile that always makes me catch my breath. We just stared at each other with stupid grins on our faces.

"Steve, don't you want to ask me a question?"

"Huh? Oh, right." We both laughed at how caught up in the moment we had been. He got back on his knee with a smile on his face, "Natasha Alianovna Romanoff, will you make me the luckiest man in the world and be my wife?"

"Of course, I will."

Steve let out a sigh of relief, "Oh, thank god."

I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped my lips as he slipped the ring on my finger.

"So, what now?" I teased.

"Now," Steve smirked as he got off his knee and pulled me in his arms, "It's the beginning of the rest of our lives."

And just like that, I was in his arms, kissing him more passionately and more eager than I ever have before.

My hands shot to his belt as I quickly undid it. I growled in frustration, and Steve set me back down on the floor. Before I had a chance to whimper or complain about the loss of heat from his body, I found myself stripped of my shirt, pants, and underwear. I leaned back against the wall letting the cold surface cool my parched skin. I watched Steve free himself of his shirt, jeans, boxers, shoes, and socks. Our clothing lay in a haphazard pile on the floor.

We stared at each other, both of us completely naked. My skin was flushed all over. The sound of our panting breath echoed off of the walls. He leaned forward, balancing his weight on his large hands against the wall on either side of my head. He pressed his hard body against mine, and my heart wanted to leap from my chest. He created a cocoon around me with his chest, hips, and thighs; one that wrapped me in warmth and desire. Liquid desire pooled between my legs, threatening to spill down my thighs. Steve's nostrils flared, and he sprang into action.

In one swift move, he hefted me back up into his arms, pinned me against the wall and thrust himself inside me. I wanted to cry out, but I had no voice. The assault on my senses was fast and all-encompassing. I hadn't felt that full, that complete in ages. There was a mixture of pain and unadulterated pleasure. He was not gentle, and I couldn't have been happier. I didn't know whether to moan or cry.

He started to thrust frantically. I screamed wildly as his engorged length pushed in and retreated repeatedly. I felt like an animal, clawing, and scratching at his shoulders. Every time he withdrew, I pulled him desperately back. I was reduced down to the barest existence. I was ruled solely by my desires. I was set to burst at the friction alone, but he began to rub circles around my swollen nub, and I knew I was gone. I exploded into a cataclysmic orgasm that threatened to blind me in its intensity. The moment of pure bliss felt as though it lasted an eternity. Steve stilled his movements and watched in awe with a self-satisfied, proud smile as I experienced ecstasy at his hands.

I felt as though I would float away. When the blinding white light behind my eyes finally dissipated, I was able to take a few shallow breaths and allow my body to relax and unclench. My core rippled, sending tiny waves of pleasure from my waist and back down to my toes. Just when I thought I was down for the count, Steve began thrusting again. Only this time there was no rhyme or reason to his movements. And a few seconds later, he had driven me to yet another earth-shattering climax, followed quickly by his own.

We were a sweaty mess of tangled limbs and mingled juices. Steve got his breathing under control a lot quicker than I did. He gave me a sexy smile and kissed me hungrily and thoroughly.

"Wow," he whispered. "That was just...wow."

"Definitely," I breathed, quirking a brow at him. "We're going again, right?"

He laughed and flashed his brilliant white teeth. "Of course."

I whimpered as his lips crashed back down onto mine. He held me in his arms and started walking towards the bedroom. He placed me gently on my bed, careful not to break our intimate connection. His eyes were filled with an overwhelming amount of love and happiness. But, underneath it, all was an unabated hunger that was far from being satisfied. I lay backfilled with anticipation, knowing that I was in very, very capable hands.

I collapsed face-first onto my bed hours later. Steve sprawled next to me face up, his chest heaving from exertion. I felt sated and lethargic; blissfully unaware of anything but the two of us in my bedroom.

I hugged my pillow to my chest and looked over at Steve. His eyes were closed, but he had a satisfied, content smile on his face. I bit my lip as I took him in, blushing at all the antics we had been up to for the past several hours. I could barely feel my legs. We had attacked and devoured each other countless times. Sex was like a drug for us. And we couldn't seem to get enough.

The room was a mess. The lamps on my nightstands lay broken on their sides. Picture frames lay on the floor where they had fallen from the dresser. Pillows had been tossed haphazardly to the floor. The comforter and sheets were in a tangled mess at the foot of the bed. Usually, I would feel compelled to clean up the mess immediately. But I was lost in a euphoric state, and none of that seemed to matter to me. All I cared about was the handsome man in my bed, who was going to be my husband soon.

I leaned up on my elbows to get a better look at him. I could feel the heat radiating off of his skin. My body tingled, craving more of his touch. I felt as though I was always sated but never quite satisfied. I wanted everything from him, and then I wanted more. I was obsessed.

His breathing slowed, and I knew he was resting. I almost felt sorry for him. Here he was, the great Captain America, and I had nearly milked him of all his energy. Lucky for me, he was known for his stamina because I certainly didn't know where mine came from.

With that in mind, my eyes wandered over his naked skin unabashedly. His messy blonde hair matted to his forehead. His chest glistened with sweat that was perfumed with his creamy, manly musk. My body stirred in response to the visual stimulus in front of me, especially when my eyes paused south of his hips.

"You keep staring at me like that and I'm gonna have to do something about it."

"I'm just enjoying the show."

He chuckled, his voice low and husky. "Don't worry; you can drink me in all you want." And then his eyes opened and met mine.

I got lost in their warmth and blurted out, "I hope I can wake up to this face every morning."

Steve looked confused and taken aback for a moment before smiling softly, "You get to see this face for the rest of your life, as long as you'll have me.

"There's no question about that."

He laughed and relaxed back into bed; only this time, he pulled me towards him so that I could rest my head on his chest. He was quiet for a while, content to stroke my hair. After some silent contemplation, he sighed deeply and said, "You know there might be a chance we might..."

"Don't." I stopped him. "Don't even go there, alright?"

"God it was so hard being without you, Romanoff. I didn't get to see your face, feel your skin, or even smell your hair. The moment you left, I just felt this empty hole in my chest, and it wouldn't go away."

I kissed his chest lightly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't," He chuckled lightly. "I wouldn't mind Francis smacking sense into me now and then."

I nodded my head and smiled, snuggling closer. "He does have that effect on people."

He laughed before it died down, his face growing serious, "Losing Annabelle was one of the hardest things ever for us to go through." His eyes looked at mine, and my heart nearly broke. "But if I lose you...I  _can't...lose you. I won't."_

My stomach turned just thinking about what Steve was feeling right now. I reached up to caress his cheek, and he covered my hand with his own. "You'll always have me with you, Steve. No matter what."

"If this is our last night..."

"Steve..."

"I just want to you know how much I love you, Nat."

I couldn't find the words to speak, so I just leaned up and kissed his jaw softly before laying my head on his chest.

"We're gonna be OK, Steve." I sighed mostly to myself, fiddling with my new accessory. "We're gonna be OK."


	11. XI.

_Natasha's POV  
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."_ _— Margaret Mead_

* * *

Steve and I lay on the bed, wrapped up in each other's arms as our breathing steadied and our racing hearts slowed down. Neither one of us said anything. There was nothing left to say. Steve kissed my breasts and trailed sweet, wet kisses up and down my neck. Gone was the urgency from before. The desperation and morphed into stoic acceptance, and he touched me in kind. I didn't care. I had him in my arms for a little while longer. That's all I cared about.

Reality lay outside of our room, outside of our embrace. And we weren't about to take a step towards it until we were forced to do so. But, the moment was not made to last.

Finally, I knew it was time to leave, and I crawled out of bed. Steve watched me with an amused glint in his eyes; with a wink, I sat up on my knees with my back to him and pulled on my underwear and bra.

After a long shower, Steve rose out of bed, and again I could not help but admire his superbly toned body. His legs were so long that his hips were about the same height as my chest, and the morning sun shining on his skin made him look like some Olympic God of legend.

My gaze could not help but travel the length of his body, and the smirk was back on my lips. His manhood - still massive despite its now semi-flaccid state - made me flush with desire with its beyond-pornographic beauty.

He caught me staring and smiled, cheekily at me."Like what you see, Romanoff?" he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and turned my head, "Go shower old man."

Steve smiled at me before doing what I asked. After finally getting dressed, we went down to the beach for a while before the real work came crashing down on us again.

A few minutes arriving there, we both stopped at a specific spot, letting this poignant moment flow over us. I didn't know if we would ever stand together like this again, but it would always rank high in my most special memories.

Steve's thoughts were running in the same direction as mine, and he squeezed my hand, "We've come a long way, haven't we?"

I nodded at him, looking out at the sparkling surface of the Pacific. If I looked far out to the horizon and let my eyes wander along its expanse, I could make out the curvature of the Earth's surface. The effect was subtle but real.

With our hands gripped tightly between us, resting on the weathered sand, Steve and I stared quietly out at neverending sea, neither of us wanting this moment to end.

The reflected sunlight looked like shiny pennies sparkling on the ocean's crenelated surface, and the Whitecaps were spraying sea-foam into the wind. Tiny rainbows sprang up on occasion; prismatic reflections from the water droplets that spread from the crashing waves.

The only sounds I could hear was the swooshing of the surf breaking on the beach, the whisper of the wind, and the distant cries of the gulls. It was an idyllic setting, and my chest felt heavy at the thought that this was all going away; that I might never again sit here, in this spot, with Steve Rogers. That thought weighed heavily on me as we watched the sunset in the western sky.

This was what we needed a moment alone before our lives change forever once again, a moment alone — a moment to appreciate even the small things around us.

Hopefully, we would have more time to do that.

* * *

"Are you ready to go in there?" Steve asked.

I took a deep breath and looked up at the large building. This building, this place used to be a sanctuary for me. But now, looking at it made me feel cold, knowing that it could be the last time I walk through these glass doors again.

I squeezed his hand and nodded. My gut told me that once we entered the HQ, nothing would be the same again. I was sure of it. I was terrified of what was to come. But there wasn't much I could do about that. I did the only thing I could do. I started walking.

I led Steve through the front door and took us into the meeting room.

My eyes widened in surprise at the sight that greeted me.

Thor sat on the far couch, his body sprawled in the definition of relaxation. His arm was thrown around Carol, who sat beside him. They nodded and smiled at me as I entered, looking carefree as ever. I did a double-take when I notice the hair on Thor's face was completely gone. He saw my reaction and gave me a playful wink.

Tony and Pepper stood to the side. Tony had his arm around Pepper, comforting her. Their eyes were filled with parental concern.

Nebula's lithe body was perched on the back of the couch. She gave me a brief nod, and her mouth was reduced to a thin line.

Though the meeting room was massive, it felt tiny with all the astronomical bodies and personalities occupying every available space. The air was stifling, and I was finding it hard to breathe. Steve squeezed my hand, reminding me yet again that no matter what happened, we would go through it together. I sighed in relief and walked towards the middle of the room.

I saw a green blur, and then I felt Bruce's presence at my side. "Nat, are you alright?" he asked, his features hurt and his eyes filled with concern. His arms reached for me, but he hesitated, watching Steve's reaction instead.

Steve pulled me close against his side, not as a display of possession, but because he knew I needed his reassuring warmth. Throughout the drive and the various phone calls, I hadn't had time to process everything. My stomach turned, and my knees felt weak. I was relying on Steve's strength to get me through the day.

It was yet another thing I would be eternally grateful for. He stood by my side, ever vigilant, but with encouragement and hope. He made me feel as though we were partners in this fight, something Bruce never did. Bruce looked us both over, and then he nodded in acceptance, understanding that I didn't want or need his comfort.

All eyes were focused on Steve and me.

"Alright everyone," Steve said to the room at large. "It's time."

Tony stepped forward. "Speech?" he asked.

Thor chuckled as Carol sat on his lap, "You know it's coming."

Steve sighed in annoyance but smiled nonetheless, "You know, we've come a long way. After everything, and we're still standing. Five years ago, we lost. We lost so much in such a short amount of time. But now, it is our chance to make it right. We can bring them back, and we can bring them all back. No second chances, no do-overs. We have one shot, let's make it count."

Everyone looked at Steve and nodded in respect to his words. It amazed me how he could do that almost every time he spoke. It would never get old I tell you.

"Suit up; it's gonna be a long day."

I looked around the room, at all the faces of the people I loved. I wasn't sure if I'd ever see any of them again. My heart was breaking. I knew it was necessary, but I didn't know how to take that next step. I needed to feel the familiar warmth and strength of Steve's embrace. I looked towards him, searching for…something, anything that could make all the fear and doubt go away. And for a moment, just a moment, he did.

My good-byes were hurried. I didn't have the time to make them lingering and meaningful like I would have wanted. And all the while, my fear was fed with doubts about ever seeing them again. I didn't say much, afraid that my voice would crack and my emotions would betray me. Instead, I relished the warmth of my friend's embraces and prayed with all my heart that I would see them, every one of them again when this was all over.

The last to say his good-byes was Bruce. He looked to Steve, almost for permission, but since Steve was willfully ignoring the exchange, Bruce proceeded to pull me into his arms. He released me quickly and stared into my eyes. His blue eyes were wide with fear.

"Natasha, I…," he stuttered. It wasn't rare to see Bruce Banner so flustered. It pained me to see him that way. The fear had fled his gaze and was replaced by an overwhelming passion, one he'd always held at bay to protect me. I took a step back, unused to seeing so much naked emotion from him. It was a reflex reaction. He grabbed onto my arms, not letting me get far. The intensity of his gaze bore into the depths of my soul. "I…," he began, desperately intent on telling me something. But he took another look at my hand and saw my engagement ring on my finger. I removed my hand before he could get another glance.

Just as quickly as they appeared, his emotions were bottled back up inside. He released me from his firm, yet gentle grip and said, "Please…be safe."

I nodded. It was all I could do. What did one say to that? Clearly, Bruce wasn't saying what he was thinking. His emotions, though buried deep, were like a blazing brand in his eyes.

I looked over to where Steve, Clint, and Carol were standing, and they were clearly in an intense conversation.

Before I could move, Tony cleared his throat behind me, effectively distracting me from my thoughts. I turned around to face him and noticed that the room was nearly empty.

"Hey Romanoff," Tony said, looking towards the front entrance where Pepper was leaving with Morgan. "You ready to go back out there and take a stand?" He swallowed hard, looking uncomfortable.

I smirked slightly and patted a hand on his shoulder, "Only if you are, Stark."

"Can't believe I'm leaving her alone on mother's day." Tony huffed, watching the direction his family left intently.

Mother's Day... god do I dread this day so much. It was bittersweet, knowing that by this time Annabelle would be five years old, getting ready to put her in kindergarten, watching her put finger paintings on the wall. All the things that could never happen now.

"I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to her, Tony. You always do."

"I hope so." He smiled back and nodded to where Steve was, who was now standing alone with a gentle smile on his lips.

I smiled in realization. He was allowing Steve and me some alone time, to say our good-byes in private. I was grateful for his thoughtfulness.

"Thanks, Tony," I whispered. He hugged me in response and then walked out the door.

My heart pounded rapidly and felt like it was going to jump out of my chest and put me out of my misery. My head turned towards Steve, and he just smiled blissfully back at me. I smiled back and took a few deep breaths. Ugh. This was not going to be pretty.

"You ready?" Steve murmured, squeezing my hand gently. His face was sincere and yet ecstatic, all at the same time.

I groaned. "When this is over, I want a thick bottle of whiskey."

"I think I can arrange that." Steve brushed his fingers along my ring and broadened his smile. "Plus we have the rest of our lives to just have late night sex and drink whiskey."

"I hope so," I muttered under my breath.

He squeezed my hand once more to comfort me and placed a kiss against my temple. "Everything is going to be ok, Nat."

"You don't know how much I want to believe that." I bit back a laugh at Steve's expression.

"You don't have to be brave in front of me." He brushed a strand of hair away from my eyes and smiled sadly down at me. "It's okay to be afraid."

"Now is not the time to be afraid," I hastily wiped a tear off my cheek.

"Hey," He leaned his forehead against mine before placing a soft kiss on it along with the tip of my nose. "Happy Mother's Day."

I chuckled bitterly, "How many times do I have to tell you to stop telling me that."

"Natasha," he breathed, pulling me closer in his arms. "Even though she's not with us, it doesn't change the fact that you are still her mother."

"Some mother I turned out to be."

Steve smiled weakly at me and ran the back of his index finger down my cheek to wipe away the tears, "How about we talk to her? We've never done that before."

"I don't know if I can..."

"It's alright, and I'll do it for you. We can do it together." He ran a soothing hand through my hair.

I was gonna protest to it, but the look on Steve's face told me just how much he needed this, "Alright."

"OK." He wrapped his arms around me as we sat on the nearby bench.

"Hey, baby girl. I'm your dad." Steve smiled. "You're not with us anymore...you're not with any more physically, but you're here...in away." I crossed my legs in front of me and held onto Steve's hand. "We wanted so much more of you, but we're ok... with what you were able to give us." Steve took an unneeded breath and ran his hands through his hair.

"You are so loved, sweetheart by your mother and me. I want you to know that...my sweet little angel." Steve's voice nearly broke at the words. He quickly wiped the tears off his cheek and gave me an encouraging look.

I opened my mouth by only a strangled cry left my lips. This wasn't as easy as I thought.

"I know you're there and I know you're there watching. And I wanna say that I'm so sorry that you couldn't stay here with us, and know that a day won't go by where I won't stop loving you or stop thinking about you." I could feel the lump in my throat swell for the tears that would never be shed. "I feel your spirit, Annabelle. And it's so strong...so strong. And I feel that and I know that because you're apart of me and you always will."

"I know you're with us...and even though I can't touch you anymore, I can still tell you every day that I love you. Mommy and daddy love you, and we will never forget you."

At that moment, I felt calm and relaxed and happy. Safe. I looked at Steve, and his eyes met mine, and I knew he felt the same. And when his radiant smile and bright eyes lit up his face, I knew it was going to be all right.

I leaned into his massive frame and hugged him tightly. "Thank you. I needed that," I said quietly.

"We both did," he answered.

"I love you," he whispered, pressing a soft kiss into my hair.

"I love you," I whimpered, washing away the rest of the emotions I had left.

Nothing more was said. Nothing needed to be.

* * *

 Steve looked all around the room and nodded curtly. "Good luck, everyone."

Everyone nodded respectfully. I look over to see Thor cup Carol's face in his hands, "Don't die on me, Danvers. Can't have you going out before me."

"Don't worry. I think you'll be the death of me, Odinson." They both laughed.

Carol sighed softly, gripping Thor's bare chin, "I missed that rugged look already."

"Oh?"

"Mhmm." She says before kissing him chastely, "But I think I can get used to this."

"Well, good. Because this is the face, you get to wake up to for the rest of your life."

For a moment, Carol eyed him curiously to find something in his. What was it, doubt, hesitancy, regret? I would never know.

"Be safe." She smiled sadly, hand gliding down his cheek.

"Of course, my love." He gives her one last kiss before finally departing from each other. Carol patted my shoulder before standing in her position.

I turned over to see Steve smiling that perfect smile at me.

"See you in a minute."

"Don't you dare be late." He clasped his hands over mines.

I leaned towards him, my lips barely ghosting his and smiled, "Wouldn't dream of it."

  

 

_Steve's POV  
_

Arriving in New York was chaotic, as to be expected.

The sidewalk is full of people in blue coats with bright yellow 'FBI' embroidered letters, evacuating as many people they can. My heart speeds up, and I brace myself, knowing this will be a tough mission.

I look up at Scott beside me. He's a bit wide-eyed, looking in all directions. He's not used to situations like this. I've seen quite a bit, and I still get jittery. I don't blame him. I reach for his forearm and wait for him to look at me. "Scott, try to calm down. Stay focus."

He sighs heavily as if he's been holding his breath. "Ok, ok. Calm down. Focus, Scott, focus," he sings to himself, while he flexes his fists and shoulders.

"Alright, we all have our missions, let's get on it quickly. No messing around here."

Tony gave me a curt nod before suiting up, "You shrinking or what, Lang?"

He took another deep breath but disappearing from my sight.

Tony and I shared a look before his helmet covered his face, and he was off to that big ugly building.

Before I could move, I felt a giant hand over my shoulder, "Wait, Steve. Can we talk for a moment?"

"Alright, but make it quick," I said a little irritability.

His face became stony as he gazed at me, "You and Nat?"

I shook my head. "Bruce, when are you going to let it go?"

He whipped his head in a flash and glared at me. "When you're in love with someone, you don't just let it go," he snarled.

"It's been five years!" I yelled back. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I didn't have time for this. "She's moved on. We've been through a lot, we lost a child together, and that is something you can never comprehend. I've watched her grown stronger and rise above her pain. Why can't you do the same?"

"You couldn't possibly understand."

"Why? Because you've had so much experience with love? There was no one before Natasha and no one since. What is it that I can't understand?"

"She's my lullaby," he countered. "She was meant for me."

"If that were true, she wouldn't be marrying me."

Bruce flinched as though I'd socked him in the face. It was a low blow, but he needed to understand. "Banner, you're holding onto something that doesn't exist. Do you want to be miserable for the rest of your existence? Do you think we want that for you?"

"You never gave up on her. Why should I?

"I never gave up on her because I saw it in her eyes. Every time she looked at me, that she loved me back. I wasn't sure how deeply her feelings went, but I knew it was there. That's why I pursued her. I owed it to myself to learn the truth. Tell me, in the last five years that she's been with me, have you seen anything in Nat's eyes that would give you the idea that she felt anything but platonic love for you?"

Bruce looked away and scowled.

"I didn't think so." I nodded curtly. "I want you happy, Bruce and I want you to be a part of our lives. But if you can't respect our relationship, then we have a problem. Understood?"

There was a heavy silence while he thought about his answer.

"Alright." He sighed, nodding curtly. "I'll do it for her."

"Good," I nodded in response. "Now let's get back to work."

* * *

_Bruce._

He couldn't help but let the words linger in his mind.

_"If that were true, she wouldn't be marrying me."_

He couldn't even deny it, and he knew deep down that Steve was right.

In all the years that Natasha and Steve had been together, he never indeed saw them. It was always too hard to see them together, loving each other when he was so dead inside and so alone. He would see them as individuals. He would look at Steve with envy and disdain. And he would look at Natasha longingly, missing the love and attention he had thrown away so recklessly. But, even after all that time, he never looked at them as a couple. He did so now.

He had to.

He closed his eyes, sighing in defeat. The truth was evident to anyone with enough sense to see. They were made for each other. And Steve was right, after all of the things they have been through, they deserved a win.

Bruce had been holding onto a dream; to a moment in time when his life, for once, had meaning. But Natasha couldn't be that for him. She alone couldn't provide a sense for my entire existence. He tried to get her back, keep her in that box. He tried to carve out that moment in time and live it forever. Had he succeeded, they would've grown stagnant, stunted. He would've dimmed the life in those beautiful green eyes forever. She knew that. She must have known all along. And that's why she left him. She needed to live, to grow, to become the woman she now was. And she could never have done that with him.

It nearly killed him to listen to those words. But, he's glad he did. It was time for him to let go.

"Can I help you?" A soft voice said from behind him, making him turn around slowly.

He was face to face with a beautiful bald woman, dressed in a long silk robe. She turned her head to the side, eyeing him curiously.

"I'm looking for Dr. Strange," Bruce replied, slowly approaching the woman.

She hummed in amusement, "You're about five years too early. Strange is currently performing surgery twenty blocks that way." She crossed her arms defensively. "May I ask why do you need to see him."

A glint of a shiny necklace caught Bruce's eye at that moment, "Actually, I'm here for that."

The woman followed his gaze and smiled nonetheless, "Unfortunately, I cannot give this to you."

"Please, I don't have that much time." Bruce sighed. "Six years into the future, something terrible will happen to the world. And I need that stone to fix what happened."

The woman gave him a dreamy look, "If I were to give you the time stone to fix your reality, _my_ reality would cease to exist."

"What do you mean?"

With a swift motion, a map of stars and constellations appears at the tip of her fingers, "The Infinity Stones create what you experience the flow of time. Remove one of the stones, and that flow splits. This may benefit _your_ reality, but mine, not so much."

Bruce stood there puzzled before a thought clicked in his head, "What if we erased it?"

"Erase it?" She repeated, suddenly intrigued by his proposition.

"If we put the stones back in place at the same time it was taken, in that reality, it never happened."

She couldn't deny that it was a thoughtful idea, but in the back of her mind, she knew that there was a chance that he may not return with the stone. She had to be sure.

"Will you be alive to bring the stone back?"

"You have my word," Bruce said solemnly.

She pinches the bridge of her nose, confliction starting to build within her, "We must protect the time stone no matter what, and I can't risk based on your word."

"If you must protect it, then why Strange give it away?"

That baffled her, "I beg your pardon?"

"Strange willingly gave the stone to Thanos."

"No...no that can't be true. Why would he do that?" A faint whisper escaped her lips.

"Maybe he made a mistake."

"Or...maybe I did." And at that moment, slowly, reluctantly, she placed the stone in his giant palms. "Don't make me regret this, Bruce."

"I won't, I promise."

_One stone down, five more to go._

* * *

 

_Thor.  
_

 

Being back on Asgard was strange for Thor.

Seems like yesterday he was in a spaceship watching Surtur burn his home into ashes, and now here he was, back like nothing ever happened. Everything looked the same but at the same time

It just felt... wrong.

There was a part of Thor that wanted to stay here, reminisce the moments he spent with his father, his mother, even Loki. Trapped in a bubble of an illusion of what his life used to be. There was also a part

of him that wished he could show this to his kids and his wife what a beautiful place his home used to be. Maybe he'll rebuild it just like this, and he had all the time in the world after all.

"Alright, Thor," Rocket whispered hastily, interrupting his thoughts. "You go in there, charm her a little bit and then I suck the life out of her with this, and we're out of here."

Thor didn't like the thought of seducing Jane, knowing that he had a wife in god knows where by now. "I feel so dirty." Thor shivered slightly.

Rocket rolled his eyes, "Don't worry about Carol, Thor. It's just until I get the stone out of her."

Thor's body stopped when he heard a familiar soft voice call his name, "Thor?"

Rocket quickly hid, giving Thor a curt nod.

Thor stopped dead. He would know that voice anywhere, but never thought he would hear it again. He took a deep breath and looked up. What he saw nearly made his knees give out. There stood Jane Foster haloed by the sunlight and more beautiful than he ever remembered.

But not as beautiful as his wife...

"Jane?" he breathed barely audible, but he knows she could hear him.

She walked towards him at a fast pace, and he thought she was going to stop in front of him, but instead, she grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into her.

Before he could react, her lips were crushed against his. The second his lips touched hers, and he immediately felt wrong all over. Not only had it been a decade since he's last seen Jane, but he knew now that his heart now belonged to another.

But Thor knew that he had to fight it. Instead, he was kissing her back with just as much intensity. His mind was clouded in all that is Jane Foster. His lips molded to hers as if the time apart never happened.

The second their lips broke apart, Jane gripped his chin affectionately, "Wow, a haircut and a shave? What's the occasion?"

Before he could answer, Thor has instantly pulled away from her arms and into another pair of small arms, but this was a lot stronger.

"Thor! I missed ya you rugged bastard!" Sif's twinkling chime voice said as she pulled back out of their hug but didn't release him.

"Sif... it's so good to see..."

Another voice boomed before he could get the words, "Thor!"

Then he heard loud footsteps and saw Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun emerging from the outside area and looking right at him. He was immediately leaped on and flattened to the ground by all three of his friends.

"Guys...can't...breathe."

"Oh, sorry, my friend," Volstagg said, helping him up. "I can't believe you're here and look how much you've changed!"

Rocket couldn't help but smile at the scene. It reminded him so much of what he lost, of what he had and didn't appreciate them enough until they were finally gone from his grasp. He was going to show them how much they meant to him once they got back.

Thor grinned proudly and roughly pulled them all in a group hug, "I've missed you too my friends, more than you know."

Thor's breathed them all in, feeling their comfort and warmth for the very last time. They would always be with him, and he would make sure their sacrifices would never be forgotten as long as Asgard stand... "Could you guys give Jane and me a moment?"

They all nodded in understanding and left, but not before Thor pulled them in for another hip crushing hug.

"Now, where were we?" Jane whispered, slowly latching her lips back onto Thor's.

This time Thor remembered Carol, the mother of his three children, his wife, and he immediately pushed her away.

"Jane... please don't do that again." He whispered. The second the words left his lips, a part of him wished so badly that he could take it back, but the other part knew it was the right thing to do. Her face panicked.

"What's wrong? Is it the shirt. I didn't-" He stopped her before she could continue.

"It's not you, Jane...it's...I have to tell you..."

"Thor?" He looked up to see a woman staring at the scene with a small smile on her face. "When where you going to tell me you were back?"

"Mom..." Thor breathed. Losing his mother became one of the worse things that have ever happened to him. How could it not? She was the only one he had, and just like that; she was gone. It crushed him for years, but now, she was here. She was alive.

Thor walked past Jane as his mother walked down the steps towards him. A few seconds later, he was pulling her into a tight hug.

"Oh my. I didn't realize you missed me that much." She said, startled by his aggressive hug.

"I did miss you. I missed you so much, Mom." Thor felt the tears that were building up in his eyes spillover.

She pulled back and cupped his face, gazing at his face, intently, "What happened to your eye, honey?"

Thor laughed softly, "It's a long story."

"Oh?"

"We should talk..." Thor turned around to invite Jane with them only to find her gone. Rocket gave him a look, letting Thor know that he was on the case.

Once they were settled, they were talking and catching up on all of the things that had happened in the years ahead of them. It felt great to speak to his mother about this, and it wasn't like he had anybody else back home to talk to but Carol.

"So who's the woman?" Frigga smiled as she lifted his hand with the band on his finger.

Thor chuckled sheepishly, "Her name is Carol." He couldn't help but smile at just the thought of her. "She's an incredible mom."

"I'll bet, any woman who can make you settle down like this will forever have my respect."

The thought saddened him a little, knowing that she will never have the chance to meet her face to face. "I wish you could meet her, mom. You would love her more than the kids do."

Her eyes widened in awe, "Kids?"

"Oh right, Carol and I have three kids. Two daughters and a son."

"Wow," Frigga placed a hand on her chest. "I have grandchildren."

Thor placed a hand over his mother's and smiled sadly, "I named one of the twins after you, mother. You would be proud."

Frigga placed a hand on her son's cheek, and her smile widened, "Oh, but I am proud my love, believe me, I am."

"Thor!" Rockets voice yelled from behind him. "I got

it, we have to..." he stopped short when his gaze met Thor's mothers. "Oh, you must be mom."

Rocket nodded respectfully at her before looking at Thor again, "We gotta go, Thor."

Thor held onto his mother's hand, afraid to let it slip from his grip, "I wish we had more time."

"This was a gift, my son." She smiled sadly before placing a kiss on his forehead. "Now you go be the man I know you can be."

"I love you, mom."

"I love you." And with that, Thor pulled her into her arms and just held her for as long as he possibly could, grateful for the time he had with his mother.

He took a few steps back and gave Rocket a curt nod.

Before Rocket could react, Thor yelled, "Wait!"

Thor closed his eyes and outstretched his arms, hoping and praying that it will come where it's supposed to be.

Rocket quirked a brow at him, "What the hell am I looking at?"

"Oh, sometimes it takes a moment. Give it time."

Frigga explained.

_Come on...come on._

In a swift motion, it was in Thor's tight grip. Mjolnir was back where it belonged.

"I'm still worthy!" Thor yelled ecstatically. "I'm still worthy."

Rocket rolled his eyes at the irony of it all.

"Bye, mom," Thor whispered.

"Bye, honey."

And just like that they were gone, now having two stones out of six. Frigga smiled at the sight of where her son once stood and placed a hand over her heart.

"So proud..."


	12. XII.

_"What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men."_ _— Leigh Bardugo_

* * *

Thanos continued to wipe the blood off his sword while his other arm laid on the armrest of his massive throne. Of course, being the man that he was, he took the head seat for himself. The eyes of the all of that followed and worshiped him were staring at him with waiting expressions.

"Ronan has located the power stone; I'm dispatching the location to his ship."

"He won't like that." Gamora sighed, having her hands behind her back.

Thanos couldn't help but chuckle at her bold words, "His alternative is death, that obsession of his makes him reckless."

Nebula glared at her sister before bowing down obediently to her father, "I will not let you down, father."

His eyes averted from Gamora's and landed on Nebula. Of course, it did not satisfy him. Nothing ever did. But it was the thought the counted in Nebula's mind. She would do anything to be her in her father's good graces, whatever it took for him to love and accept her finally. And when that day comes, she would finally be at peace of what she had become.

But it didn't change the fact that it had been aggravating years for Thanos and he knew it was only a matter of time before his patience would finally pay off.

"I know, daughter."

"I swear to you," Nebula whispered. "I will make you proud."

Suddenly, an electric jolt shot through Nebula, causing her to fall on her rear and let the recording play through her left eye.

_"Alright, Nat. No screwing around. Get that soul stone and get out of there."_

_"You know we will." The woman with red and blonde hair smiled at their direction, placing her hand on Nebula's shoulder, "Stay sharp out there, keep an eye on Rhodey for me, would ya?"_

_"Of course, we'll see you when we get the stone."_

Nebula smacked her head before the recording could play anymore, breathing uncontrollably in the process.

"Who was that woman?" Gamora asked, her voice filled with sisterly concern.

"I don't know. My head is splitting..."

Gamora stood up and looked at father once more, "Her hardware must have been damaged in battle."

Thanos was off the throne in an instant, recognizing that face, "It was an earthturian, an Avenger."

The word had been ingrained in his brain since the failed battle in New York, and Thanos hated them. He despised them. They caused him so many soldiers, and it was because of them that he was never genuinely fruitful—as much as he should have been, anyway. This was a race, and he came in second. And the one thing he hated more than anything, losing.

The Avengers had stopped his tyranny from running to Earth, taken everything from him and he would never forget it.

Gamora sat up a little more in question.

"The Avengers," he said the name with disdain, "wretched creatures I tell you, stubborn to the very end."

Thanos's feet made the steady ground shake when he stepped down from his throne, his hands behind his back in an authoritative manner. No one dared speak, because his anger was evident and created palpable tension in the air.

"Bring her to my ship." Thanos decided to keep the details of his plans vague.

"Father?" Gamora asked quietly.

"I believe we have war among us, daughter." Thanos continued.

He stared at Gamora intently and tried to decide on the final aspects of his plans, which was quickly coming together. He needed to be meticulously calculated, and that was going to take time. He still needed the stones.

But he knew what he wanted, the end of the Avengers. The Avengers was going to be in pain, suffering, and they will finally inherit failure on his behalf.

"A war that I would rather not lose.

* * *

Steve's POV

"Cap!" A voice yelled from behind me.

I sighed heavily, wondering what the hell could go wrong next. New York's time heist wasn't precisely a picnic on my end. Between fighting myself in the past and dealing with some old enemies, I could have used some good news. But by the look on Tony and Scott's face, the story was anything but good.

"We've got a...small problem." Tony sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"He lost the Tesseract." Scott huffed, looking at Tony accusingly.

"Well, I didn't know a 1500 pound green monster would knock me unconscious so that Loki could getaway!"

"So what do we do now?" I asked.

"There's nothing we can do!" Scott yelled. "We have one particle _each._ If we use that, you're not going home."

"Well if we sit here and do nothing, nobody's going home."

"I got it!" Tony got out of the wrecked car with a fiery look in his eyes. "There's a way to get the Tesseract and more particles."

"A little stroll down memory lane. Military base in Jersey." Tony gave me a wary look, and I instantly knew what that meant.

"When were they both there?"

"You know how I know, Cap." Tony eyed me sternly, telling me everything that I needed to know.

I sighed frustratingly, trying to think of a better plan. But unfortunately, I couldn't. It looks like it was a good trip down memory lane for me.

"Anybody want to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"It looks like we're improvising," I said with finality. I quickly handed Scott the scepter and walked back to Tony. He was already dialing the date on his time watch when I got there.

"Are you sure about this?"

Tony quirked a brow at me, "You trust me, don't you?"

"You know I do," I said reassuringly.

And just like that, we were gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arriving in Jersey, Tony located the Tesseract very quickly. It was my job to find more particles to take back home; it sounds simple enough.

I was cautious with my disguise; if anyone recognized me, there would be a long, complicated story that I would instead not tell. I pulled the cap on a little tighter as the elevator continued to take me down. The woman next to me was very observant, all I had to do was get out, and I would be home free.

"First time here?" She asked politely.

I gave her a grim smile and shook my head, "Not exactly."

Her eyes squinted at me curiously, and I quickly averted her gaze, patiently waiting for the elevator to stop.

Stepping out, I glanced around carefully to make sure I was going the right way. It was a hectic morning; hallways were nearly filled in every corner you turned. I was surprised nobody even noticed me yet. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I finally found Hank Pym's laboratory. Finally, inside, I made sure the coast was clear before proceeding to see the particles.

A tube with red liquid caught my attention, and I knew that I had hit the jackpot.

Before I could walk out the door, it busted open followed by a demanding voice, "Hank, do you know anything about this glowing package the delivery man was ranting about?"

My heart stopped and burned mercilessly.

That voice, I knew that voice like the back of my hand. Peggy, it was Peggy. I could only glance at her for so long, but it was long to know that even after 28 years, she was still beautiful, flawless even. Like time never passed with her. Before I could look any further, her gaze directed towards me and I immediately turned my head.

"Excuse me, soldier, have you seen Hank Pym around?"

I remained motionless, afraid of what would happen if I allowed myself to get pulled back in. She was here. She was real, and she was alive.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," I said slowly. "I haven't."

"Who are you?" She asked, her heels clicking in my direction.

"I...I'd rather not say."

Her hands gripped my shoulders and whipped me towards her before I could react.

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, my brain frantically spinning at the moment.

A desperate, strangled cry blew past her lips as she said my name," Steve?"

I opened my eyes and leveled them with hers. "Hi, Peggy."

Her eyes welled with tears as she began to sob uncontrollably. I gripped her hands when she ran one over the cheek. She was real. "My darling, you're here."

I breathed in her scent, the familiar aroma of honey and vanilla, the smell that made me feel at home and nodded, "I'm real, Peggy."

"How is this even possible?"

"It's a long story."

Peggy dragged the pad of her finger down my jaw and the side of my neck; how many times had I dreamed about her touching me like this, how many times have I desperately wished to have her in my arms, apologizing and begging for her to take me back after all those years and heartbreak. And now that moment was here, but it felt... wrong.

"I'm not going anywhere." She said softly, her eyes gazing at me intently.

"But I am Peg. I can't stay long."

"Why?" She asked, her brows knitted together.

"I can't tell you." I clasped onto her hand again only to feel to something small poke into my palm. I lifted her hand and sighed slightly. A wedding ring. She was a married woman now, probably with children. It was a pull to the heart. I already knew that Peggy had moved on with her life, and I was happy for her, honestly. It was the fact that I broke my promise to her, and another man was able to give her what I couldn't.

She followed my gaze and immediately dropped my hand, "Steve, I..."

"No, it's alright. You don't have to explain." I smiled sadly at her, cupping her face in my hands. "I'm glad that you're moving on with your life."

As she smiled back, a tear slid down her cheek. "It's just that... it's been so long, Steve. I waited for you for years. And you never..."

"I know, I know, Peg. And I'm so sorry that I broke my promise to you." I whispered, wrapping my arms around her waist. "But... you're happy now. You've found a man who can give you what I never could."

"I just...things would be different now if you had come home to me all those years ago." She whispered into my chest.

"I think everything is the way it should be, Peggy," I murmured. "None of us can go back, and the best thing we can do is move forward."

She sucked in a deep breath, holding me tighter, "I suppose you're right."

I pulled back and smiled cockily at her, "Of course I am."

Peggy smiled and laughed a little, rolling her eyes in the process, "I can see time hasn't changed you at all, Mr. Rogers."

"I have changed a lot since the last time you saw me, Peggy."

"I can tell the difference." She said before cocking her head to the side. "You want to tell me about her."

I smiled slightly, thinking about the woman who was waiting for me back in 2023. It amazed me of how much Peggy knew me. It just showed how much she truly cared about me and how much our friendship truly meant to one another. You can't find anyone like that nowadays.

"Natasha, she's a spy like you. You'd love her." My smile widened at the thought of them meeting each other.

"Married?"

"Not yet, but soon."

"Children?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and sighed, "We lost our daughter awhile back, Nat did the best that she could."

She stepped closer, gently clasping her hands back around mines. "I'm so sorry, Steve. That must have been hard for both of you."

"Thank you, it was."

"I can only imagine." She sighed, looking down at our intertwined hands. "Losing a child can be hard for anyone."

"It nearly destroyed us, but now we're better than ever."

"I'm glad. You need each other now more than ever."

I let my forehead rest against hers, letting her aroma linger my senses for one last time, "I've missed you, Peggy."

She leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss on the corner of my lips, "I've missed you too, my darling. More than you'll ever know."

"I wish we had more time."

"I know, but for now, I'll die happy knowing that I had this time with you." She smiled, hastily wiping the tears off her cheek.

My hands dug into my pocket and pulled out something significant to my heart always; the compass with Peggy's picture.

I think, even then, I knew deep down that I'd never get to be with Peggy again. But I could never bring myself to part with it. But keeping it was a constant reminder of what I had lost. So that left me with only one option.

I guess that's why I kept it so close all these years. I knew what I had to do, but I hadn't been ready. I hadn't been strong enough. Letting go involved a lot of stages. Peggy had come full circle in her life. It was my turn to do the same.

"This has saved my life more times than I can count." I laughed, thinking of all the things that I had been through. "But I think it's time I let you have it."

I carefully slipped it into her hands and closed her fingers around it.

She smiled sadly at it, brushing a kiss on my knuckles, "I'll treasure it for the rest of my days."

I couldn't believe I was giving away something so precious. But, that's all it was, a thing. I had my memories of Peggy. This compass didn't represent her, nor did it in any way symbolize the love I had for Peggy. It was a chain, holding me down, locking me into a prison of my own making.

She moved her hands to my shoulders and before pulling me into a firm hug.

Peggy will always have a place in my heart as an old friend and someone who I will never forget.

"I love you, Peggy."

"And I love you, my darling." She placed another kiss on my forehead and leaned to my ear, "Now go live your life."

Natasha's POV

  

A content sigh escaped my lips when I felt a hand clap on my shoulder.

I turned my head slightly to see Carol, giving me a sly smile, "Doing alright there, Romanoff?"

I sighed again, letting my hands grip on the armrest a little bit tighter. "I don't know... I can't shake this feeling." My eyes refused to meet hers again. I was honestly trying to keep my composure, to keep myself from breaking down right in front of her, to push away the thoughts of doing something that I might regret.

Carol sat next to me in the passenger seat, "What's on your mind?"

"I know what's about to happen...and if we want to win, I have to let it happen," I whispered, fiddling with my engagement ring. "I don't want to lose everything that I've built for these last five years. Things were doing so great, and now everything's about to change."

Carol shrugged, "Change can be a beautiful thing if you let it be."

"You would know better than anyone, wouldn't you?" I said teasingly.

She couldn't help but laugh, "I suppose you're right."

"But change hasn't been on my side lately, Carol."

"It isn't on anyone's side," Carol said. "It's up to you on what you do with that change, Romanoff."

"I wish I could look at life the way you do." I swallowed and attempted a smile. "I just wish things could be more simple than what they are."

Carol placed a comforting hand on my thigh, "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"Growing up, my father and I had a...tense relationship. He used to be a sexist pig, but I still loved him regardless. He used to tell me that women couldn't play baseball, couldn't drive go-karts, couldn't go to the Air Force. And yet I did all of those things. I wasn't afraid of what was ahead of me. I believed that things would get better down the road." Carol clasped my hands tightly and gave me a stern look. "You have to believe Natasha, don't give up."

I placed my hand over hers, "I won't."

I jumped slightly as I felt a rumble under my seat. Our eyes averted to the front to see that the shuttle had come to a halt to what looked like a desert. The sound of a shuffling caused me to turn around to see Clint holding his stash of arrows in his hands.

"You ladies gonna gossip all day or are we gonna make a difference out there?." He joked, filling the bag with arrows. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my things before following them out.

The shuttle doors slowly rose down, letting the cold wind breeze in violently.

Vormir was beyond anything I've ever seen in my life. The sky was nearly dark, followed by what I believe was their sun, making the air result in a dusk type theme. While the rest of the planet was filled with nothing but sand and small oasis's, there was a gigantic mountain, hovering everything in all of its glory.

What a strange place...

"Let's get moving," Carol said curtly.

As we got close to the mountain, a knot began to form in my stomach, telling me that something terrible was going to happen. That feeling, that feeling that I couldn't shake was letting me know that this time, it wasn't going away.

Something about this place made me feel eerie inside like danger and darkness were lurking in every corner. It was an uneasy feeling to process.

I shivered slightly as a deep voice filled the void of the darkness.

"Welcome, Natasha, daughter of Ivan, Carol, daughter of Joseph, and Clint, son of Edith."

The winds grew frantic as a man in a black robe floated in our direction as if he was God himself.

_Ivan..._

Ivan was the name of my father. The man who gave me life, the man I never grew up with, the man I was stolen from and now thirty years later and epic journey then, and I finally learn his name.

Meeting my parents was always part of my plan. I had my suspicions that they were long gone, but a small piece of me was hoping that I could finally get the closure that I dreamed about all of my life.

And I did, just not the closure I was expecting. I didn't need my father. There was another man in my life now.

And he's not going anywhere for a long time.

"We don't want any trouble," Carol said, stepping forward. "We just want the soul stone, and we'll get out your way."

His red, cracked face shook his slightly, "It is not that simple; the treasure you seek is not what you think."

"Tell me where it is now!" Carol demanded.

"Soul holds a special place among the infinity stones. It cannot be found. It must be earned."

"Earn it how?" I asked shakily, afraid of what his answer would be.

"It demands a sacrifice."

"What does it need?" Clint pressed, now in sync with Carol and me as we followed him down a narrow path to the top.

"A soul. You have to sacrifice that which you love to take the stone. A soul for a soul."

Silence fell upon us as our gazes were now ahead of us, looking at the spot that one of us would cost one of our lives.

We all sat there, letting the words of the mysterious man sink into our minds. "The son of a bitch has to be messing with us. I don't trust him. There has to be another way." I wanted to believe Clint's words, and I tried to find them more than anything. But I knew deep down that the words of the other man couldn't be even more accurate.

"I don't think so, Clint," I whispered.

"Why, cause he knew your daddy's name?" He replied sarcastically

"I didn't." I shrugged. "And let's not forget the fact that Thanos left this place without his daughter. We have to be smart about this."

Carol sighed heavily, reluctant to even look at the deep end.

I looked at my engagement ring and felt a pull at my heart. It was a sign of Steve's love and commitment to me, the promise of him returning me no matter. And here I was, at the crossroads of losing it all.

I closed my eyes and let my lips brush against it, "Whatever it takes."

"Guys, we have to get that stone. The fate of the world is in our hands." Carol said, a defeated look starting to cross her features.

I stood up and stepped in front of Clint.

"She's right, Clint. We have to get that stone."

He sighed deeply, realizing that there was no way out of this. Tears slipped out of my eyes as his hands slid into mines in a firm grasp.

"I guess we know who it's gotta be," Clint whispered, his eyes averted down the end of the path.

"Yeah," My eyes gazed down to my ring, letting my finger brush over it one more time. "I guess we do."

Clint's eyes searched mine, and he tilted his head to the side in confusion, "I have a feeling we're not talking about the same person here, Nat."

"Clint..." I tried to speak, but it just stopped in a broken gasp. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"Are you out of your mind, Nat!" Clint said through gritted teeth, gripping both sides of my shoulder. "I just got you back, and you think I'm going let you do this to yourself after everything you've been through?"

"I couldn't live with myself if I let you go and leave Laura and the kids behind." Laura and his kids need him, they need him more than anything in the world, and if I had to watch his kids grow up every single day without a father, I would break into pieces. I wasn't letting him do this. It was my turn to save him now.

"What about the team, huh?" Clint pressed his grip on my shoulder, getting a little tighter. "What about Steve?"

Steve...

"Don't do that to me, Clint," I warned.

"How do you think he's going to react to this? You think he's going to be happy about you being gone, and you think he's going to be happy with Carol or me if we let you do this? Losing your daughter was already hard enough, if he loses you, Nat..." Clint closed his and took a deep breath. "It would destroy him, Nat."

There was a heavy silence while I thought about my answer.

"See you couldn't…"

"Steve will be OK," I whispered. "He'll have everyone around him to support and love him, to love him the way I never could."

Clint didn't look convinced. "Nat..."

"Clint, enough! It has to be me."

"But unfortunately," The man interrupted from behind us. "It cannot be you, Natasha Romanoff."

I whipped my head towards him and narrowed my eyes, "And why the hell not?"

"Because there is another soul within you."

My heart stopped, and I couldn't help but look at him strangely, "What are you talking about?"

Carol gasped as she immediately rushed to my side, "Natasha, you're pregnant."

Pregnant... I'm pregnant. With everything going on, the idea that I could be pregnant had never occurred to me.

"I can see that you did not know." The man said.

I wrapped my hands around my belly. "How... do _you_ know?"

He shrugged, "I felt the child's presence within you; I felt its soul. The sacrifice will be denied if you were to jump."

Presence? Was I pregnant?

Everything was starting to build and crumble at the same time slowly. I was scared and happy; anxious and eager. After Annabelle... having another child wasn't an option for me. But Steve and I talked about all the time, and we were always so careful. I just never thought I would be back in this situation so soon. Steve and I were having another baby. All nausea and weakness fled my body, and I was filled with joy.

And that joy was immediately tarnished when I was met with Clint's sad eyes.

"No...no..." I whimpered. "Please, don't do this, Clint."

"It's alright, Nat." He pulled me in his arms and placed a brotherly kiss on my forehead. "It's alright."

"Please...I'm begging you. Please." I pleaded, holding onto his wrist to never let go.

Clint smiled weakly and placed a hand on my belly, staring at it as if it would be the last time he would get to touch it.

"You tell my family I love them," His eyes looked at mine as they were glassed over with tears. "And you tell the kid... that Uncle Clint says hi."

"No, no, no! You're not doing this to me!" I leaned my forehead against him, trying to hold back my sobs. "I still need you."

Clint sighed and let the moment wash over us. I was soaking him in, remembering everything in this very moment. His smell, his hands are covering mines, the sorrowful expression on his face. Every moment mattered, and I wanted to let this one last forever.

"OK," Clint pulled back. "You win."

A sly grin appeared on his face before quickly averted his gaze to Carol, "It's time."

Before I could react, strong steel arms were wrapped around my waist. It was Carol, effortlessly holding me in place.

"Carol, stop! Please, don't let him do this!"

Her face filled with pain and anguish as she held me, "I'm sorry, Romanoff. But I made a promise."

Clint gave her a nod of appreciation as he slowly disarmed himself, leaving his weapons and a torn picture on the rock nearby. "You watch her back, Danvers."

"Goodbye, Clint," Carol whispered hoarsely.

"Nat..."

His eyes met mine, and they told me everything within seconds. It showed how much he cared, it showed his pain, it showed his sorrows...and it showed me just how much he needed this. He had red in his ledger, and this was his way of wiping it off.

With all of the strength I could muster, I smiled weakly and whispered, "I'll tell them, they'll be proud."

His smile widened for a second, and before I knew it, he was gone.

* * *

My eyes propped immediately, only to find myself surrounded by shallow water with Carol's arms still wrapped around me securely. The sky shined a little bit brightly as I felt something small in my hand. When I lifted it, my eyes were immediately blinded by the bright gem.

Here it was, the soul stone; and all had to do was watch my best friend die to get it.

I didn't watch him jump, hearing the thud was already hard enough. My mouth was dry, my throat was aching from crying, my eyes were throbbing, and my pulse was slow and loud in my ears.

"I'm sorry Natasha," Carol whispered, refusing to look at me.

"Tell me something, Danvers," I said through gritted teeth, staring at the stone with hatred and disdain. "You told me that you had a promise to keep, right? Promise to who?"

"I promised I wouldn't say."

I whipped my head towards her in an instant, "I just watched my best friend jump over a fucking cliff for this stone. You better tell me as if your damn life depends on it."

Carol stayed silent for a long time, barely breathing. It must have been a full minute before she repeated something.

"Steve, Clint and I promised him we would keep you safe. No matter what." Her voice was low and stressed.

"I see." I breathed, clenching the stone tightly. "Whatever it takes, right?"

"I'm sorry." She raised her eyes to mine; they held a deep level of sadness that I had never seen before.

I didn't respond, I just got out of the water and grabbed Clint’s things before I made my way to the ship, not saying another word to her.

I was going to make this right for Clint, and I was going to make him proud, even if it killed me.


	13. XIII.

_Steve's POV  
_ _"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." — Ralph Waldo Emerson_

* * *

"Did we get them all?" Bruce asked as soon we landed back on the platform.

I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh air of 2023.

It's been a long day...

"Are you telling me this worked?" James said, holding the power stone in his hands.

My eyes searched the room to find Nat, and when I saw her, it nearly killed me.

There were angry tear tracks down her cheeks, and her red and blonde hair was in complete disarray. It was the worst I had ever seen her in a long time.

"Yeah, it worked." She said bitterly before her eyes met mine. Her red puffy eyes had rage ignited within them, and I could tell that her anger was with me.

"Where's Clint?"

She didn't answer. She just kept her gaze on me.

Before I knew it, she quickly walked towards me, and I prepared myself for what was to come. She slapped me so hard that my head jerked back, and a loud sound echoed throughout the room. My cheek stung at the impact, but I just cracked my neck and stood straighter.

"It was you, wasn't it?" She pulled back, wiping tears. "You told Clint and Danvers to make sure I come home, didn't you?"

"Natasha…"

"Answer my question." She cut him off before I said anything more. "Tell me the truth."

I didn't reply.

"Everyone out!" Natasha shouted. "I want everyone out now!"

There was a shuffling of feet as everyone left the room quickly. Carol gave me a sad look before Thor put his arms over his wife's shoulders and led her out of the room.

"You knew, didn't you?" she asked me. "You knew what needed to be done for us to get the soul stone."

"I did."

"How dare you?" Natasha's face turned red with rage. "How dare you go behind my back to control my life?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were safe, Nat. I just told him to make sure you came home. That's all."

"That's all?" Nat laughed bitterly. Her hands moved down to her engagement ring, and she struggled to get it off. I immediately clasped my hands over hers to stop her from touching it any further.

"Nat, stop...please." I gave her a pleading look, and for a moment, her gaze softened before it hardened.

"My best friend is dead because of you." She spoke in a hushed voice that was eerily dangerous. "How can I trust you when you're making these secret plans behind my back?"

"Trust?" I whipped my head towards her. "Like when you trusted me to tell me the truth that you were going to jump off a damn cliff for the stone?"

Natasha winced at my anger, not expecting me to lash out. Her passion slowly faltered, and she immediately turned her head away from me. And then, it was like all the pieces were falling into place. She knew what needed to be done; she knew that one of them was not coming back home, and she knew that I would be her. She had already decided that, without even telling me.

"That's why you didn't want me to come, isn't it?" I whispered, my jaw clenched.

"Steve..."

"You were gonna jump, weren't you?" I moved closer to her, feeling her anger fade away completely. "You knew that I was going to stop you."

"Steve, listen..."

"No, you listen!" I snapped. "We have lost so much, we have been through so much. There's not a moment in my life where I felt like I couldn't trust you. So it shouldn't take Nebula to tell me that you were planning on sacrificing yourself. Because you were the one who was supposed to tell me, because that's what we do, right? We're always honest with each other, no secrets."

"I knew you were going to stop me, so I didn't tell you," she confessed. "But it was my choice,  _my_  life and you had no right to dictate my decision."

"But what about our life, Nat! Did you ever stop and think about what your death would to us, to me?!" I lifted her hand and pointed to the ring on her finger. "You promised me that you would always be there that we would spend the rest of our lives together. And you were going to throw it all away within the next day!"

"Like I said, Steve." She looked up, tears falling down her cheek. "My choice."

I took her hands and squeezed them tightly. "Do you know what I told Clint after I found out what needed to be done?"

She didn't reply.

"I said, don't go... I told him that we could find another way to beat Thanos, and you know what he told me, Nat?"

Her lip quivered, and she shook her head, "What?' she croaked.

"He said, 'We have to, Steve. No matter what happens, I'll make sure Nat comes home. Everyone comes home."

"So?" Nat huffed stubbornly.

"So," I continued, closing my eyes tightly. "I put Carol on your team and said that if Clint didn't come home, that she would give me her word that she would bring you back. And they both agreed."

Natasha sighed deeply, slowly trying to process everything, "I'm sorry, Nat. I'm so sorry."

Her eyes met mine, and she just gave me a numb nod, "How can I even look at them, Steve?"

"Nat..."

"I can never escape their grief, their pain. Every time I see them, I'll see him. Always."

"I'll bring him back," I said solemnly.

She laughed sarcastically, shaking her head, "We can't get him back. It can't be undone."

I cupped her face in my hands, and I pressed her forehead against mines, "I swear to you, even if it costs my life..."

"Steve..." She croaked.

"Clint will be home."

Her hands ran over the spot where she hit me and felt my face. She didn't say anything for a long minute, just looking at me. She leans in slowly and places a soft kiss on my lips, meaning that all was forgiven, on both parts.

"I miss him..."

"I know, Nat."

"There's something I have to tell you," she whispered.

"Of course, anything."

Breathing deeply, Natasha closes the distance between us, and as her arms wrap my neck, her lips whisper words in my ear that swiftly brought me to my knees.

* * *

_EARLIER_

Nebula remained where she'd sat for the past three hours – staring resolutely into the fire, eyes unwavering. The pebble she clutched in her small fingers had long since gone numb in her grip. One corner of the blanket she'd pulled over her shaking shoulders had slipped down, revealing a bruising splotch on her bare shoulder.

The tears that had so recently spilled down her cybernetic skin left behind furrows of deep blue that raked down her cheeks, but no more fell. She had none left. Sadness - which had wrapped itself around her entire body and squeezed until she couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't even think – also disappeared, faded into a barbed numbness that fogged her brain. Any trace of her usual emotions that were usually so prevalent had gone into the flickering fire before her. She sat now, an empty shell of a woman who was used to being torn apart.

Getting kidnapped wasn't part of the plan; it usually isn't. But as usual, her father was always one step ahead of things, and now she was under his thumb once again. Their plan was going to unravel before her very eyes, and she couldn't help but blame herself.

The wind cut an icy blast across the exposed swatch of her skin, but Nebula didn't move to remedy the situation. She turned her head to see who had opened her cell. She saw the dark outline of a woman, slipping in quietly.

"We'll be landing soon." She whispered. "Don't try anything."

Words tumbled from her lips, and surprisingly, she reached up to touch her face. The fingers that pressed ever so lightly against her cheek burned hot against her skin, but she didn't pull away.

Nebula fell silent as she looked at her sister with desperate eyes.

"You can stop this." She begged. "You know you want to."

Gamora took in the bruise, the death in her eyes. "You know I can't help you." Gamora kept her voice low and even, though apart of her knew she was telling the truth.

"You know our father gets the soul stone, right?" Nebula asked.

Her words came out so clear, so strong that Gamora's gaze speared up to her face, and the expression she found there almost frightened her.

And then she was moving. Her tiny arms and tiny legs flailed for a moment, and she scrambled to a kneeling position. "Do you know what he does to you, my sister?"

Gamora was almost afraid to ask, "What?"

"He throws you off a damn cliff...just so he could get it." There was madness to her pleaded that leaked into her eyes and planted a seed of fear in his stomach. "I've watched him destroy the world once, and I can't let him do it again."

"You don't know that, Nebula," Gamora whispered, completely adamant about Nebula's statement.

"But he will," she continued, not breaking face for a single moment. "He'll never stop. Never. You know that better than anyone."

"Tell me something." Gamora made her towards her, sitting in front of her. "In the future, what happens to you and me?"

Nebula chuckled darkly at their moments, "I try to kill you, several times. Very close, if I may add. But... eventually, we end up becoming sisters, a lot closer than we've ever been."

Gamora looked at her, really looked at her, and for the first time, she knew that her sister was genuine and honest with her. A quality that was buried very deep inside of her. Her eyes now showed a fire in them.

"So we'll run," Gamora told her, "You and me. We'll go somewhere far away until he can't find us."

"There's nowhere we can go that he can't find us, Gamora." Her lip trembled with the force of tears that threatened to erupt. "You know what we have to do."

Nebula had figured out the answer to her problem.

Thanos had to die.

She couldn't do it herself, of course. She wasn't nearly strong enough, and she didn't dare pit herself against the wrath of the Black Order. But the Avengers… they had the strength and the ability to take on Thanos. They were fully capable of eliminating that horror from her life. She made sure to smother the smile as she pulled back and pushed hope into her eyes.

"That's easier said than done, Nebula."

"It's nothing we can't do together."

Gamora should have said no. She knew it was a bad idea from the moment Nebula spoke the words, and now as she trudged through the thick fog of night, he felt even worse about it. Killing Thanos would not only be incredibly difficult, but it would also be a chance that they would make things worse than better. But, Gamora was never one to shrink from a challenge, and she wasn't going to start now.

Her eyes landed on Nebula's once more and smiled weakly, "Okay."

Nebula smiled back, but it faded as quickly as it came, "She's gonna go through with it."

"We'll stop her together."

* * *

_Steve's POV_

I kept my eyes closed as I swayed with Natasha's naked body against mines, entangled by the silky sheets.

We made love for hours until the light of the setting sun turned into the fresh glow of the full moon. It was something we needed, now more than ever.

Losing Clint, it's probably one of the toughest things we're going to experience. Clint wasn't just a teammate, and he was family. He was with us from the start. He was a piece of our team that held us together effortlessly. It broke my heart that he couldn't see the end with us, but he kept his promise, and I was going to bring my end of the bargain. Tony and Bruce were currently in the works of making a new gauntlet, said they'd have it done by the morning, which gave me plenty of time to focus on Nat.

The guilt and pain that I felt over Clint's death were quickly overwashed when Natasha told me she was pregnant.

Natasha was pregnant...

Nat was pregnant...

It still hasn't quite sunken in. For so long, after losing Annabelle, I thought to have another child wasn't even up for discussion. No child could ever replace Annabelle because that was impossible. She was our firstborn, and she would always be a part of us in some way. And it reminded me of the hole that Annabelle left in Natasha's heart. She was so broken and devastated that she was so afraid of getting pregnant ever again, and I couldn't blame her.

But this was our second chance, our second baby, and we sure as hell weren't going to lose this one.

Not as long as I breathe...

Natasha and I agreed to keep the pregnancy a secret at least until after everything was settled. We didn't want to distract everyone from completing the mission, but more importantly, we liked having this beautiful secret all to ourselves.

Another baby...wow.

My thoughts were interrupted when Natasha chuckled bitterly.

I leaned back slightly to look at her, "What's wrong?"

"My best friend is dead, and I'm still here, naked, pregnant and dancing with you. I can't help but feel guilty that I'm happy right now."

"You can feel whatever you want, Nat. It's not a crime." I bent down and kissed the revealing part of her shoulder. "I'm sure Clint wouldn't to make you feel guilty for his choice."

"Maybe I should feel guilty, maybe that's how he wants me to feel."

"You know that's not true."

She places her head onto my chest but continues to sway with me to the music, "I'm sorry...it's just...it's been a long day, Steve."

"I know, honey. But it'll get better, it always does." I buried my face in the crook of her neck, pulling her closer to me. "Besides, now that you're pregnant again, you can't one-up me on the field."

Surprisingly, a laugh escaped her lips, and I couldn't help the smile that reached mine, "You did not just say that."

I pulled back to see her smiling at me, "You know there's no way in hell I'm missing this fight, Steve. You know that."

I moved my hand to her forehead to brush a strand of hair from her eyes, "I know, I just wanted to hear that beautiful laugh. I've missed it."

Her smile widened as she leaned into my touch.

"This is how I'll remember you." I whispered, leaning in to place a soft kiss on the junction of her neck, "Smiling, laughing." I kissed up a little higher until I reached the corner of her lips. "You're so beautiful."

"Steve..." she breathed, holding me close. "Don't, please. Don't say things like that."

"Tomorrow isn't promised for anyone, Nat." I pressed my forehead against hers. "You are the love of my life, and I will continue to tell this every day for the rest of my life...because one day I might not be able to tell you."

Her eyes were now glasses over with tears as she places her hand to my cheek. "I never thought that I would ever feel anything close to this. But you..you have changed my life so much. And I would not be the woman I am today without you and..." Her voice trailed off before she could continue.

"We get them back. We get them all back." She whispered before looking down at her barely-there belly. "And everything will be ok."

My focus was now on the child that was growing inside the woman I was desperately in love with.

I bent down on one knee and rested my head against her stomach, feeling her hands softly run through my hair.

"Give us strength, little one," I whispered, kissing her belly softly. "I promise to protect you and mommy always."

I looked up to see Natasha grinning down at me with the tears now sliding down her cheek, "I love you, Rogers."

"And I love you, Romanoff. Now and always."

The next morning, the gauntlet was finally finished, and my heart was pumping in anticipation.

This was it; the moment was finally here.

To think that everything in my life changed five years ago. It's nearly a struggle even to forget, but how could I forget? We lost, we lost everything that day. And when that wasn't enough, I continued to lose things that were close to me. It was like sand slipping through my fingers, and I was slowly dissolving, just like it. But now, it was the time to make it right, to make up for our mistakes. It was time to bring everyone home.

"So," Rhodey crossed his arms. "Who's going to do it?"

"I'll do it." And it was the last voice Carol wanted to hear. We all turned to Thor, who looked determined and set on his resolve. I had grown to love Thor like a brother; he was always supportive of whatever I went through as I was for him. So, I felt this need to protect him. It wasn't as though I didn't trust his strength or abilities. I just knew that his chance of surviving this was very slim, and he had a family to go back home to.

"Thor..." Carol began, but Thor cut her off.

"It has to be me, Danvers."

"Yeah," Carol laughed darkly. "Out of everyone in this room, it has to be you."

"I need this, Carol. You know, I do." Thor growled, avoiding eye contact with her. He was in pain. I could see it in his dark eyes and feel it in the tremors rippling through my body.

"Look at me, Thor." She whispered. "Look at me."

He did.

"You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, Thor. It wasn't your fault."

Thor clenched his fists tightly, tears falling down his eyes. He immediately wiped them away. "I'm so proud of the king you have become, the man you have become. And it kills me to see you blame yourself over something you had no control over. You have to let it go Thor."

"Carol..." he croaked.

"Let it go, Thor."

His shoulders shook as Carol continued to soothe him.

It all made sense now. Thor felt like he failed everyone when he didn't kill Thanos when he had the chance. I couldn't exactly fault him for feeling the way he does. It was the same feeling I felt when it happened. But it wasn't anyone's fault; it was just...inevitable.

"Just let it go," Carol whispered once again before pulling him into a crushing hug. Thor buries his head in the crook of her neck and wraps his arms around her waist tightly. "I'm here."

"I'll do it," Bruce said.

"Bruce," I gave him a look that only he understood. "You sure?"

Bruce ran his hands through his hair and paced the floor. Everyone gave him a wide berth. He was being put in an impossible position. He looked to Tony, possibly for guidance. I wasn't sure. But, all he got from his was stoic acceptance. Bruce sighed and said, "Yeah, it has to be me; it'll destroy any of you guys on the spot. I can do this."

I saw Rhodey comforting Natasha. She was upset. And it wasn't for lack of love or affection. Anyone who knew her knew that Bruce was apart of her life like the rest of the team were. But she knew the importance of this moment. As much as she feared for him, she understood that this was part of the duty he was sent upon.

Tony carefully placed the gauntlet in hands, eyeing him warily, "Okay, Banner. Focus on bringing on everyone back and nothing else. Change nothing from the last five years."

Bruce nodded gruffly, slowly sliding his hands inside the gauntlet. "Everybody comes home."

I walked over to Natasha and wrapped my arms securely around her waist. Her back was pressed against my chest. I kissed her cheek quickly and said, "Everything's gonna be alright, Nat."

She just nodded coherently, never taking her eyes off of Bruce.

"Friday," Tony, now armored, looked back cautiously. "Initiate the lockdown protocol.

The room grew darker as every window and door was being blocked off from the outside. No one was getting in or getting out at the moment.

Tony, always thinking ahead.

As soon as the gauntlet clung onto to Bruce, he immediately dropped to the ground yelling in agonizing pain. The stones shine brightly in beautiful, enigmatic transparency. Sparks climbed up his arms, nearly scorching his arm to bits. Natasha held onto my hand tightly as we watched on.

"You alright, Banner?" Thor asked, his voice thick with concern.

Bruce took several deep breaths, pacing himself so could try to embrace the pain. He nodded tiredly, trying his best to push on. The gauntlet roared again to force another scream out of Bruce. My heart stopped when I saw him slowly raise his hand. His eyes landed on mines then Nat's, before his two fingers came together for a loud snap.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head before he collapsed on the ground, the gauntlet slipping out of his hands. Thor quickly kicked it out the way before turning his attention on Bruce.

"Bruce," I screamed, immediately running to his side.

"Did it work?" He whispered, staring at me desperately.

"Don't worry about that right now; just stay calm."

"Don't move," Tony said as he began to look Bruce over.

Tony looked at it once more before stabilizing his condition.

And suddenly it was if my body shifted at the change. My eyes looked up to see the sunshine brightly in the sky, and I could feel the difference. Hundreds of birds flew past the windows as the atmosphere in the room slowly grew calm. The birds were singing loudly. Louder and louder by the moment, higher and higher. It flooded my ears effortlessly, drowning everything out in the process.

"I think it worked, Bruce," I said in awe. "You did it."

Then, the birds' singing was replaced by a strange whistling sound.

I dropped Bruce's hand by his side. I looked to the sky again and shielded my eyes with one hand.

And then, the room grew darker, causing me to look up once again. A massive ship was staring down at us, creating an eerie setting in the room.

Then a giant roar.

As soon as the weapons pulled out, I immediately secured my arms around Natasha as there was a flash of white behind me.

The ground lurched beneath my body as I shielded Natasha from the falling debris. A big burning chunk of metal whipped by along with a thousand shards of glass, which seemed to move very slow before me.

Then I crashed to the ground on my back, Natasha still glued to my chest. Covering our bodies was a shower of dirt and glass.

She lifted her head and placed her hand on my cheek, "You okay, are you hurt?"

I couldn't respond.

Natasha took my face between her hands and forced me to focus on her solely. That alone finally snapped me out of my hazy zone. I looked around the room and saw that the walls were shaking, and the ceiling was in danger of collapsing down on top of us. What the hell was going on?

Natasha stroked my cheek softly. "Are you with me now?" She asked.

I nodded.

"No time for smooching you two," Tony's voice said from behind us. "We've got trouble."

I slowly got up to my feet but still held Natasha close; Carol came rushing towards us frantically.

"Where are the others?"

 _"Does anybody copy?"_  Bruce's voice yelled through my coms. " _We're pinned down here, and we need backup!_ "

 _"I copy!"_ Lang yelled in response. " _Hang on. I'm almost there."_

There was a loud rumble, and the room shook, dropping large pieces of stone from the ceiling down to the floor. "Nat, "I started. "I need you to go find that gauntlet and keep it safe."

"No, I'm not leaving you."

"And I'm not losing you." My eyes averted to Carol, "Protect her...please."

Carol nodded in agreement. "Of course." She patted my hand and added, "Watch Thor's back for me."

"You got it."

Natasha looked up at me and held my hands tightly, "Don't go."

"Nat..."

Her brows furrowed, and her hands reached for my face. "I just... I just have a horrible feeling about this. We belong together. I need you by my side."

"This is bigger than just you and me, Nat. And you know that."

"No," she shook her head adamantly. "No, the safest place for you is by my side."

"Yes, I agree." Her eyes flashed with hope. "But," I continued, "That's not the safest place for you."

"What do you want me to do here, Steve? I don't know how to let you go."

"I need you to trust me, Nat? Can you do that, please?"

She caressed my cheek and with an intensity that I'd never experienced before and said, "If you go, I need you to come back to me." She leaned closer so that only I could hear. "To us."

I took her face in my hands and brought her lips to mine, kissing her, branding her with my love. "Always, Romanoff," I whispered between kisses. "Always."

She gives me one more lingering kiss before going down the narrow path with Carol on her heels.

My eyes averted to Tony, "Do you have any idea what the hell is going on?"

"Come see for yourself." He nudged his head towards another direction. After a few minutes of walking, I was met by a gravesite. After watching the man's head get cut off, three years later and he's still here, resilient and intimidating as ever. He was fully armored from the last time I've seen him, a giant sword mounted by his side. Thanos' eyes met mine, and I couldn't help the anger that bubbled up inside of me when a cocky smirk hit his lips.

The nerve of that bastard...

I looked over at Thor to see him staring Thanos down intently."What's he been doing?"

Thor sighed, shaking his head. "Absolutely nothing."

"He doesn't have the stones, so we make sure it stays that way."

Thor couldn't help but chuckle darkly, "You know it's a trick, right?"

Tony laughed back, "When has that ever stopped us."

"True," Thor stretched out his arms, causing the dark clouds to form lightning with the loud boom of thunder. Within the next few seconds, Stormbreaker and Mjolnir were within' his grasp. "Shall we, boys?"

"Of course." We nodded in sync before we began walking towards him.

"Destiny is a funny thing, isn't it?" Thanos chuckled roughly. "No matter how many times you try to deny it, in the end, it will always be inevitable."

He looked up once again, "I thought if I eliminated half of life, that the others would flourish and grow. But I see now, that as long as there are people who hang on to what was, they won't be able to what it can be. And they'll resist."

"What gives you the right to tell us how to live our lives?" Thor said bitterly.

Thanos turned his head to the side as he stared at him, curiously, "Because I see the good in things unlike you."

"There's no good in murdering innocent people," I replied. "Everyone deserves a chance to make something out of their lives; it's not your decision."

"It seems we've reached an impasse, haven't we?" He worked his question in such a way that he wasn't challenging me. Instead, he was stating simple facts, facts that I could not ignore. "Well, at least I know what must be done," he continued, standing up, "Once I get the stones you've so graciously collected for me, I will shred everything to nothing. And finally rest, knowing that the universe is grateful."

"Over my dead body." I crouched defensively.

"That, my friend," Thanos smirked, lifting his giant sword. "Can be arranged."


	14. XIV.

_Natasha's POV_  
_"The risk of love is a loss, and the price of loss is grief – But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love."–Hilary Stanton Zunin_

* * *

"Oh, shit... shit..." Carol whispered, her voice bouncing off the walls.

"What is it?" I pressed anxiously, only to receive a growling silence as my answer. I shoved against the hard chest above me in attempts to draw Carol's attention to me, "Danvers, what is it?" I hissed a little more insistently.

"Don't move," she rumbled dangerously into my ear.

The order was a no-brainer, seeing as I was pinned between the gauntlet and her, making it impossible for either of us to move freely. Carol's once lax body was now alive with a new energy of tension, muscles tight with a kind of anticipation that frightened me effortlessly.

"Danvers-."

"Shhhhhhhh," she hissed, pressing into me so tightly that she made it hard for me to draw a clear breath. The feeling of being smothered did not help me to stay calm. When I attempted to shift out from under her, she pinned me harder, forcing me further into the wall. "Don't move!" She ordered lowly, the growl of her voice sending shivers coursing through me. Something was wrong now.

"Romanoff, listen to me!" There was hard desperation to her voice that made me freeze. When she was sure, she had my attention, she continued, "When I make my move, I want you to get up, take that gauntlet and run. Don't look back. Okay? I'm going to do everything I can to hold them off..."

"I don't understand- Carol, what's going on?"

"Please, just do as I say," she begged, slowly helping me up.

My heart was suddenly too loud in my ears as a fear I knew too well started pumping in my veins again. I could hear my blood rushing in my ears now, my tongue burning with a familiar acrid taste; those thing from Wakanda were back.

"Danvers..."

"When I tell you to run, run. Don't stop no matter what you see or hear-."

"Carol-."

She shushed me, "-You remember the drill, right?"

"I remember…"

She squeezed my shoulder tightly, "I'll protect you, I swear."

A deep growl shivered through the air, announcing that they had finally caught on to our little waiting game and was not amused by it. As a tangible threat suddenly soaked the atmosphere, Carol's dark eyes hardened, jaw firming. She was all business now.

"Ready?" she growled, so tense that I could see a muscle ticking in her jaw.

I gave a sharp nod, a hand tightening on the hot metal of the gauntlet.

She released a sharp jet of air through her nose. "Alright... GO!"

At the sound of her roar, my blood felt as if it exploded in my veins. I hit the gravel hard, stumbled for my footing, and then took off like a shot with the gauntlet. I didn't dare look behind me, for fear of my own life and my child's. I ran. Ran for our life.

Sounds of animalistic growls were making my ears ring.

A tightness took hold of me as I realized what was to happen next.

' _Don't look back! Don't look back! Don't look back!'_

Without warning, an explosion rocked the ground. A scream shot passed my lips as the concussion wave struck my back, throwing me to the ground hard. My palms took my full weight against the jagged tear of the pavement, gravel driven into the instantly bloody gouges. The bite of pain wasn't just ignored, but utterly unfelt as adrenaline put me on a heart-shattering high. My entire body felt energized and yet wholly numb. I held onto my stomach and sighed in content.

I knew only to run.

"Hang on, little one."

Disorientation shook me for a mere second as the tunnel, and the ground was a wild blur in my stinging eyes as I clawed to clear them. Automatic tears welled to clean the dirt, spilling in excess down my cheeks out of abject fear. I didn't dare glance at anything for fear of seeing something wet and red amongst it all. This was no time to cry, though. The moment my eyes were bright, I sucked in a heavy breath, steeling myself to bolt again.

Two wild blasts to my right had my heart jumping out of my chest, my lungs seizing in my chest as if caught in vices.

"Keep moving Romanoff. I'm right behind you!"

My eyes averted up to the light above me and saw my way out. I looked back and saw Carol effortlessly holding the creatures back. Grabbing an explosive arrow from my bag, I immediately place them all around me to blow the place to bits.

"Danvers, let's go!"

Her head whipped towards me and immediately secured me in her arms before launching us to safety before the explosions could occur.

We landed on our backs with a light thud, taking a moment to catch our breaths.

"Nice work, Romanoff." Carol breathed out, closing her eyes.

"Right backs at you," I said tiredly.

A figure loomed over me.

Deep brown optics were focused on me, staring at me intently.

"Nebula," I sighed in content. "You're alright."

No words escaped, left her lips as she walked to me and grabbed the torn gauntlet from my grasp.

She smirked slyly at me, "Father... I have it."

I immediately froze at those words and gazed at her shockingly.

Carol immediately got on her feet and rammed her shoulder into her hip. Nebula's arm snapped at the impact and howled in pain, giving Carol a chance to help me off the ground.

Nebula took one look into Carol's eyes and shuffled her legs awkwardly until the wall blocked her retreat. With nothing to balance her, she was trapped. She leaned back against the wall; shoulders bowed in defeat. We turned around when we heard footsteps approaching from behind us.

Another Nebula and a green woman skidded to a stop when they saw the carnage in front of them. And then they all gaped at me.

Nebula stepped forward, fear, and concern all over her face. "Romanoff, are you…"

I pointed to the other Nebula, "What the hell is going on!"

The other Nebula's eyes rushed between Carol and my face. She hissed in defense.

Carol stalked closer to her until she was within reach. She wrapped her hands around her neck and held her against the wall firmly, "You give me the gauntlet, and I won't rip your head from your body."

"Wait…" Nebula and the green woman start to argue, but Danvers didn't care. She was too focused on the soulless eyes of the woman in her grasp.

"What's it going to be?" Carol asked.

From the side of the other Nebula's body, the flesh of her arm knit together seamlessly before my eyes. "Go to hell," she whispered, before headbutting Carol. Unfortunately, that didn't go so well for her.

"Wrong answer." Carol completely ripped off her arm and a loud crack echoed in the tunnel. The other Nebula screamed.

"No, please stop! Wait!" The green woman pleaded, slowly approaching Carol and the other Nebula. Her eyes met hers, and she immediately tensed up again. "You're betraying us, Gamora?

"Nebula, you don't have to do this," Gamora whispered.

She scoffed at her words, "I am...this."

"But you can be so much better." Nebula held her hands in surrender, approaching her duplicate. "And deep down, you know that."

The other Nebula looked away, unable to meet her eyes. "Do the right thing, give us the gauntlet."

Her eyes met her duplicates again, and she shook her head, "He won't let me."

"It doesn't matter what he wants, what do you want?"

I could tell by the look in her eyes that she wanted something more out of her life. If she could cry, she'd be balling right about now.

"Alright." She whispered, slowly and reluctantly placing the gauntlet in Carol's arms.

I stood up and retrieved her other arm, which had been lying uselessly on the floor. She looked up at me curiously, waiting for me to reattach the second arm.

After an awkward moment, she placed a hand over mines and nudged her head, "You might want to hurry, your friends aren't gonna last long with him."

I nodded curtly as Nebula and Gamora let me know that they were going to take care of things from here.

"Well I've seen it all," I said as I walked past Carol.

"Trust me; you'll get used to it."

Steve's POV

A searing curse burned passed my lips as Thanos twisted my way. Throwing up my right arm as a useless shield, the momentum of the attack ended up throwing me several feet into the air, where I was caught by Thanos' unforgiving hand. Disorientated by the impact, and jarred by the crushing power of his grip tightening around my frame, my shield dropped from my grasp. Vast chunks of faux-flesh of his right arm were gouged out, the fire of torn neural wires making it as painful as if I'd been torn to the bone.

I groaned, resisting the urge to cry out as the hand tightened around me. Searing pain in my left shoulder told me the bone had popped out of the socket. In defiance to the enemy, I refused to show pain.

"Such resilience," Thanos sighed, throwing me to the ground. "I'm going to enjoy smearing your pathetic little body into the ground. I'll make sure there's nothing left but a red smear for the worms to roll in."

I grimaced at the pleasant imagery now blooming in my mind's eye.

Then suddenly, Thor bounded off the debris and threw his ax straight towards Thanos. He deflected it with his sword, and he pounded Thor's head against the ground. Thanos continued to attack at Thor's exposed stomach eliciting a yell of pain.

He gripped Thor around the throat and threw him across the field. He crashed into a giant boulder and fell to the ground and just when Thanos was about to deal the deathblow, Thor held his hand out in desperation for his ax.

Thanos circled Thor before kicking him so hard in the ribs that I could hear his bones crack. Thanos snatched the ax from Thor's grip. Thor was strong. But he was utterly defenseless against Thanos, deprived of all his senses. Thor was pinned down, barely holding Thanos back from driving his weapon to his heart.

I wanted to help him; to shield him from the pain. But once again, I was forced to face the fact that I was powerless. My eyes uncontrollably shifted to Thor's hammer as it sat there in the ground.

Suddenly, a rough voice whispered in my ear, _"Whosoever holds this hammer, if he is worthy, shall possess the power of Thor."_

I closed my eyes and reached my hand out, begging for the hammer to be in my grasp. It slowly moved off the ground within my command, and I couldn't help but gape at the sight.

With Thanos' back to me, he was an easier target.

_Thwap!_

The hammer swats him in the back, forcing his grip on Thor to loosen.

Finally, it was in my hands, filling me with some energy that I couldn't even begin to comprehend.

_You are worthy._

Furious, he charged at me, grabbing me and locking his arms around my rib cage. He tugged and pulled me away from Thor so that he could squeeze the life out of me. I felt my ribs crack and break under pressure. I twisted and turned, trying to loosen his hold on me. He roared and threw me across the clearing. I crashed into a boulder and fell to the ground before rolling back up on my feet.

Mjolnir connected with his granite skin for multiple hits, but it wasn't enough to keep him grounded.

He threw multiple, bracing swings while I swiped at him with the hammer, colliding with him once again, and that pissed him off. He landed a hard blow, and I felt my collar bone shatter. He punched me in the face, splitting my skin from my cheek to the corner of my lips. Thanos continued his brutal attack by landing a swift kick to my chest, knocking the hammer out of my hand. I heard a loud snap.

In desperation, I raised my shield up.

And that just pissed him off even more. His sword hacked and hacked relentlessly, forcing my shield to crack and break under pressure.

I groaned, feeling utterly weak and helpless.

With another powerful strike, I wobbled for balance, and he kicked me forcefully, pressing his advantage and brought me to the ground.

I landed on my back, my body more broken and torn than it's ever been.

"I know your pain, Steve Rogers," Thanos said. "You've lost something very dear to you, and you were willing to do anything in your power to bring it back," he cocked his head to the side as though deep in thought. "I admire your resistance and your courage. Not many men have that." He bowed his head respectfully. "When I destroy the rest of your wretched planet, I'll make sure she doesn't get touched. You have my word."

Natasha... he was talking about Natasha.

My palms feel numb, grabbing the earth below me.

My body was burning with everlasting pain, but I would be damned if I were to give up now.

Behind Thanos was an army of untamed creatures that had weapons, their eyes showing me that was craving for blood, my blood.

I reached in my pocket and pulled out a picture of Natasha and me, six months pregnant with Annabelle. My girls in one picture. I looked at Natasha's smiling face as she held onto my hand, the happiness and glow that was within her.

I closed my eyes tightly and pressed my lips to it.

If this is the last thing I would see, I will die peacefully.

Unconsciously, my feet walked over to Thanos and his army, prepared to meet my maker.

" _Cap_."

I stopped moving instantly at the familiar voice on my coms.

It couldn't be...

Before I could respond, the voice spoke again, _"Cap, can you hear me?"_

"Sam?"

" _On your left_..."

A bright light flashed behind me, and the sight nearly made my knees give out. The first face that met mines was Clint's, still caked in dirt and blood, but was still standing nonetheless. He gave me a wicked grin and a curt nod, letting me know that he kept his promise.

He was back, how, was going to be a topic for another day.

Sam soared out of the golden portal elegantly, and everyone else followed suit. They were here, all of my friends, my team, my family. They were back; they were back home where they belonged.

My eyes turned and met Thanos'.

_It's not over you son of a bitch..._

"Avengers...assemble!"

And the war began...

The atmosphere was filled with smoke telling me that the fire mentioned earlier hadn't been contained. It was spreading. I coughed, and my eyes began to water from all the dust and smoke in the air.

An apparition stepped through the smoky haze. Natasha... She still had the gauntlet in her grasp, with Carol right behind her. "Nat," I whispered.

Eyes that I thought would never look on me with love again found mine. They were filled with such heat and intensity.

_That's my girl..._

Behind her, my eyes locked with Thanos. And suddenly they turned its full attention on Natasha. Recognition flashed across its features, a jagged mouth pulling back into a ravaged snarl.

"The stones!"

"Nat get to the van, now!"

Valkyrie, Thor's right-hand woman, arrived by Natasha's side in an instant, "We'll take good care of her, Cap!"

I nodded before pressing a soft kiss to Natasha's forehead, "See you in a minute beautiful."

She dug her hands in my hair to keep me close, "Not a minute later."

There was no more adrenaline left in my body to pump; my muscles burned, seized under extreme distress and exhaustion. The only thing left for me to do was to hold him off until Natasha was safe.

Even Thanos was worse for wear now, gouges along the siding revealing where plasma discharges had struck, and the metal of his armor was twisted awkwardly.

"I will get those stones, one way or the other."

"No, you won't," I breathed. "Because you've miscalculated."

"Miscalculated? How so?" Before I could answer, there was a loud bang that shook the ground. Surrounding me were Thor, Tony, Carol, Nebula, her sister, and Wanda, prepared to end him.

"I was a fool to let you leave with my entire guard to conduct some measly pest control," Thanos said. He gave a disapproving look to my team and me.

"You're damn right," I said. The air seemed to shift. The hairs on my arms stood on end, and I had a feeling that something big was about to happen. I tried to shake myself out of the haze so that I would be prepared for whatever was to come.

"You think you have won?"

"You never should have fucked with our family and our planet. And that's why you're going to die." Tony spoke up, stepping closer.

Thanos chuckled, and his laughter turned into a huge laugh. "I'm going to die?" he asked. "I think you've forgotten where you are and to whom you speak."

"I'm speaking to a fool," Tony replied. "And I think you've forgotten where you are. Look around you, Thanos. Notice anything? All of your allies are quickly disappearing on you. We've won."

For a split second, doubt crossed Thanos face before he steeled himself and glared at me. "I never lose."

Thor and Wanda quickly weakened him, forcing his knees to the ground. Carol maneuvered behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"If I die, so will you and everything you love..." he said with finality like he was so sure of himself.

Thor scoffed, "I highly doubt that."

"Have it your way then."

Carol placed her hands around his head, one of the top and the other on his chin, and twisted ninety degrees to the right. There was a sickening crunch and crack as his bones clashed against each other.

Thanos body limped to the side before it fell completely.

"He...he's gone." Nebula stood over the body.

"Thank, God," I exhaled. "It's over."

Then, there was a thud that landed behind Thanos’ corpse.

Nebula and Gamora eyed something that was behind Thanos and stopped coldly. "Don't move."

"What is it? I asked.

"Nobody move!"

"There's a bomb," she said firmly. "Motion detected. Father uses these type of bombs to obliterate an entire city."

We all looked at Nebula as she bent down to check on it.

"It's been activated."

"Holy shit," Carol gasped.

"Okay, listen to me very carefully. That thing will blow if you so much as breathe too deeply. It's all based on water displacement."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but I don't like what I'm seeing." Tony stared at the strange device. A gold box was attached to the stems, and a blue blinking light flashed annoyingly.

"We can't just sit here and do nothing," I said through my teeth.

"Is there a way we can reduce the blast radius?" Tony asked.

Nebula nodded her head, "Possibly but it's still dangerous to be around."

Tony nodded back, slowly approaching the bomb in front of him. After a few moments of tinkering, Tony pulled back, sighing in relief.

"OK, that should calm it down, but we need to get everyone out of here."

"There's no time; it's too many of us."

My eyes averted to the bomb, the lake, and then the quinjet that was surprisingly still intact. I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose, knowing what I had to do.

"I'm going to take it."

"No!" Tony pushed him. "Don't touch it. You don't understand how temperamental these things are.

"What do you expect me to do, let everyone die?" I yelled.

"You'll blow us all up if you fucking touch it."

"Okay, everyone calm down," Thor said calmly, always the voice of reason. "We need to think logically about this."

"I am," I grunted. "I can use the hook on the jet to carry the bomb over the lake. That should give everyone time to take cover."

"We're not leaving you here, Steve," Carol replied.

Tony was about to have a heart attack. His face had turned an odd shade of purple that was only rarely seen. His breathing was short, and he was trying hard not to say anything.

"What do we do, Nebula?" Thor asked her.

She was at a loss of what to say. Her mouth opened a couple of times. "I… I don't know."

"Let me do it."

I couldn't let myself cry. I could barely even talk without fear of moving this thing. My arms were getting tired, but I wasn't budging an inch.

"Why is this always happening to us?" Thor sighed.

"How do we know this thing won't kill you, Steve?" Wanda looked as if she was about to cry.

"We don't." I threaded my hands in my hair. "But we can't be afraid to take this chance.

"It should take ten minutes to set. It won't stop the motion detector  completely, but it should give you enough time to run away." Nebula looked so sad. "I hope it works."

"I want everyone out now."

"But…" Tony began before I cut him off.

"Tony...this was always the plan."

A wave of recognition hit his face as my word began to sink in. He knew how much I needed this. This was my chance, and I needed him to let me see this through.

There was a flurry of feet, everyone keeping a precise distance from me.

I got in the jet and hooked the bomb to it with ease.

"Are you sure about this?" Tony asked me.

"No," I admitted.

"Stubborn old man," I saw the single tear that Tony allowed himself to shed.

"If I don't make it back..."

"Shut up. You're gonna make it because I'm gonna kill you myself when you get back."

I couldn't help but chuckle at his remark," Sure thing."

His face then softened a little, "Good luck, Cap."

"Don't need it."

Within the next few seconds, I was in the air, heading towards the lake as quickly as possible.

 _“Steve...”_ A voice crackled through my coms, a sound that would always make my heart melt.

“Hey, Romanoff.” I smiled.

_“Please tell me you’re not on that jet right now to dispose of a nuclear bomb.”_

I nodded. "It’s what I have to do, Nat.”

_“Okay, well if this is your way of getting back at me for that shit on Vormir, you win. So turn that jet back around and bring your ass here now.”_

"I got to get rid of the thing. I need you to get somewhere safe. You'd think I'd be used to telling you goodbye by now.” I joked to ease the tension, but I failed nonetheless.

 _"Steve, no,"_ Natasha said sternly. _“I’m not letting you do this.”_

"We can't dismantle it. It's the only way, Nat."

_"Steve…"_

"Can we talk about something positive," I said, my eyes still averted to the beautiful water. Deja vu. "Can we do that?”

She wanted to protest, and I knew she did. But even she knew that this was the only way.

_“Ok...”_

I reached in my pocket and pulled back out the picture of my family, setting on the dashboard. I cracked my knuckles and added more speed to the jet.

“Nat...”

_"I’m here...”_

"You know I built you a house, right?” My voice cracked.

" _Really?"_ She sniffled. _“When did you...”_

"After Annabelle. I was going to tell you after we got married, but I guess now is a better time than ever.”

_“Steve...”_

"It’s in Wakanda, Nat. I want you to go there when this is all over.”

_"I can't leave you here. I already lost our daughter... I won’t lose you too.”_

"Please, do this for me."

She sighed reluctantly, _"How bad is the damage going to be?"_

I inspected the bomb. _"Pretty bad. Nebula said it’s potent.“_

She was trying to prolong this as much as she could. I didn't mind.

_“You owe me some flowers after this, Steve Rogers...”_

I chuckled humorlessly, “You got it.”

Then, there was a pull in my heart when I realized she wasn’t the only one I was leaving behind.

"Have you come up with some baby names?” I shut my eyes.

I wanted to kiss her so badly, to hold her in my arms, to let her know that everything was going to be alright.

 _“Steve,”_ She croaked. _“Don’t.”_

“Ok..”

_60 seconds until detonation..._

“I promise that I'll be fine."

_"You can't promise me that. You said it yourself, that bomb is powerful. You can't escape it."_

I didn't say anything.

 _"Will you be there...at our new home?"_ Natasha asked calmly, lovingly.

“No place I’d rather be.”

_30 seconds until detonation..._

_"I wish I could kill you myself right now."_

"I know, " I smiled at her words. "I'll see you soon."

_“Okay...”_

“Nat..”

“ _Yes?”_

“You are the love of my life, don’t let anything take that away from me, okay?”

She sniffles again, _“Never.”_

“Goodbye, beautiful.”

My eyes averted to the picture of my two girls, letting it linger in my mind for one last time.

Beautiful...

“I love you, Romanoff, now and always.”

I closed my eyes as my thoughts became clouded over, and the darkness consumed me.


	15. XV.

_Natasha's POV  
_ _"True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding._

* * *

_"Tony, I hope you don't kill me after I'm done recording this..."_

_"A friend of mine once told me that we couldn't go back. We can only move forward."_ Steve's holographic face smiled a little. " _She was right, you know? For years after I got out of that ice, I was hanging onto something that could never be. Time waits for no one, and it's up to us on what we do with that time."_

His face grew a little sadder, _"I never got to thank Dr. Abraham. My life has forever shifted for the better, and it's all because he believed in me. I'll never forget that, ever."_

_"I don't know what will happen once we go through with this, but I do know that it will change things forever. If weren't to make it back to my bed next to the woman I love, it will be because of my choice. And if it's my choice, it's most likely a stupid one."_

_"Francis, you are like the father I never had. I don't think you understand how much your support and guidance meant to me. When I was at my absolute worst, you and Gloria were the ones who held me together, and I am forever in your debt."_

Francis smiled sadly as he wrapped his arms around his wife. His eyes met mine, and he silently gave me his condolences.

_"Bruce... I know we haven't always seen eye to eye on a lot of things, but I want you to know that I never stopped respecting, nor stopped being your friend. You will always have a place in my life."_

Bruce's face became sad as he placed his head in his giant palms.

_"Thor," A smile began to spread over his face. " The most resilient man I've ever met. I'm proud of you and the king you've become. Through the darkest times, you've found something beautiful and pure in your life. Carol is the best thing that ever happened to you. Never forget that."_

Thor smiled weakly, pulling Carol and the kids a lot closer to him.

_"Clint, a fighter to the end. I will always admire that instinct within you. I'm sorry that you lost your way along the path, but you'll always have Nat and me to lean on. You'll always have a family in us, don't ever doubt that."_

I shivered when I felt Clint's hand entwined with mine. Laura gave me a weak smile with Nathaniel in her arms, resting obliviously. I couldn't help but smile back.

" _Sam and Bucky_ ," He crossed his arms and smirked. " _If we get you two back...try not to kill each other while_ _I'm gone, will ya?"_

The small room erupted in soft laughter at Steve's words. " _Seriously though, look out for each other, have each other's back. You guys are more alike than you want to let on."_ He sighed as his smirk grew wider. _"Thanks for always having my back, guys."_

Sam and Bucky eyed each other from across the room, having a silent conversation. For a moment, I could see their glares weaken into a sly grin and a curt nod.

They were going to be okay...

" _Tony_..." Steve shifted in the chair he was sitting in. " _Lord knows that we've rarely seen eye on nearly anything. When I first met you, I thought you were this arrogant, selfish man who didn't care about anything but himself. But... you proved me wrong. Over and over. And even though we were always at each other's throats, I couldn't help but look at you as anything less than a brother. It was always you, Tony, to lead this team, to hold us together. Don't prove me wrong on this one."_

Tony didn't raise his head; he kept his head bowed as Pepper and Morgan rubbed his back in a soothing motion. I've never seen Tony like this before, ever.

 _"Nat..."_ I froze as my name left his perfect holographic lips. Eyes were all on me at that point, silently asking me did I want the message to continue.

I nodded.

 _"Words cannot begin to explain how much you mean to me."_ His face breaks into a small smile as if a specific memory popped in his brain.  _"I remember the first day I laid eyes on you. Black leather jacket, red T-shirt. I never thought that I would soon want to spend the rest of my life with you."_

He chuckled lightly, hastily wiping an evident tear off his cheek,  _"_ _I owe you, Natasha Romanoff. There's so little left to say. I promise that_ _I will always be with you._ _There's no distance our love can't reach._ _And if there's a chance I don't come home to you, know that Annabelle and I are watching over you. I love you now and always."_

_"And as for the rest of my team, my friends, family. Thank you for this extraordinary life you've given me."_

* * *

"Ms. Romanoff," Francis knocked on my door, "It's time."

"All packed and ready." I threw my duffle bag over my shoulder, which consisted of nothing more than a couple of books and clothes.

"You sure you don't want to stay with us? There's plenty of room at the guest house." Tony led me down the hall, away from the home that had been my sanctuary for my time here. "You know Pepper and Morgan wouldn't mind seeing you."

"I appreciate your concern, but there's somewhere I have to be," I smiled.

"What are you going to do now that you're retired.

"I honestly have no idea."

I didn't know what was available at the moment. I had no job prospects and no money whatsoever. Thankfully, I wasn't entirely down and out. Tony gave me a generous check and a free ticket back home. I just wanted to make it outside, and then I would take it from there.

"Well, you know you're always welcome here, Natalie. We're a family, and that'll never change," he warned.

"I know," I whispered. These guys were the only family that I had left. I knew it would take a while before everything was peaches and roses again. I didn't think we would ever truly get back there, though.

"Okay, well, don't hesitate to call. Be safe." He wrapped me in a comforting hug before releasing me. "Take a picture of the kid for me."

"Of course."

The drive to the HQ was slow.

I checked the ring on my finger —my engagement ring —and a small smile crept onto my lips at the thought of him putting it on my finger.

I didn't cry over him anymore. I didn't have any more tears to give. The past week had been rough. I had cried myself dry, and I was surprised that my eyes hadn't fallen out. I loved Steve Rogers with every fiber in my being. He was my world, my solace, my heart, my everything.

But he was gone, and he was never coming back.

Over the week, things began to surface about Steve's death. He was celebrated all over the world, endless parades and graffiti all in his honor. He was seen as a true hero which I was happy about. His name wasn't slandered; he was treasured and loved by everyone. I gathered almost every article I could get my hands on because I just wanted to read about him. It was the only way I could feel close to him again.

That, and his baby that was growing inside of me every day.

The memorial service we had for Steve two weeks ago was private, family and friends only.

Wanda and Sam sat next to each other. She had her arm around him, and it looked like they were both crying. Bucky sat next to her, and the first thing I noticed that his hair was cut shorter. Thor was next, and his massive body took up the space of two, but his suit was tailored perfectly, which was always an issue I had with him. He never cared about how his clothes fit, and it pissed me off. I see that he had taken my advice to heart now.

His arms were over Carol as she held onto the kids. Every one of our allies had shown up, all in support of the man named Steve Rogers.

The service dragged on for another two hours. Tony made a speech; friends made speeches, even Ross made a speech, and other people just cried. I had never seen so much sobbing. I choked out a couple of tears, but I wiped them away quickly.

It was just another indication of how much he was loved.

"Nat," a soft voice said from the open door. I looked up to see Bruce, still in his arm brace, watching me with concern on his features. According to Tony, Bruce was never going to recover from this. The stones had done a number on him, but he continually tells me that he's okay. "You don't have to go."

"But I do, I can't stay here." I stepped out of the car.

"It's beautiful," He sighed. "The ring, I mean."

"Thank you," I sighed, eying the ring onto the fourth finger on my left hand. I was determined not to cry. "I hope you find someone one day, someone who can love you and only you."

"The only woman I want is you, Nat."

"Well, you keeping looking, because the man I love is gone." I nodded and slipped past him.

"Be safe out there, please."

"Goodbye, Bruce." I waved and strode out of doors.

I stood on the stone steps of the launchpad and took a deep breath. The New York air was still hot, but not unpleasant.

"You weren't gonna leave without saying goodbye were you," a deep voice said. He was leaning on the side of a red Chevy with sunglasses. His muscular shoulders made him look menacing, but I knew there was a heart of gold inside.

I ran and wrapped my arms around Clint's neck as I was lifted off of the ground. It still took a while for me to get used to Clint being back. When Bruce snapped his fingers, miraculously, he was able to bring him back. It was the only thing that I will forever be grateful to him for. I was just blessed to have my best friend back in my life.

"Of course not," I clung to him tighter.

"I missed you," he chuckled lowly.

"I still can't believe you're here." I hit his arm when he put me down. "That's for putting me through hell."

"That's fair." He nursed the spot. "Damn, that hurt."

"You deserve it." I examined him up and down. "You look good."

"You too." He smirked.

"Have you talked to the others yet?"

"I did; it was short. Laura and the kids send their love, Danvers, and Thor too."

"I appreciate it."

"Don't get teary-eyed on me. It seems that you have a long trip ahead." He picked my backpack up and threw it over his shoulder. "How are you doing, by the way?"

I shrugged, "I cried for hours. There were so many things we were supposed to do, but I never got the chance."

"I see your ring." He pointed to my left hand. "He would want it there."

"It's not enough." I shook my head, "I miss him."

"We all do, Nat." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "You're strong. You'll get through this."

"I hope so.

After a bittersweet goodbye, I finally hopped in the quinjet, leaving the past behind and headed towards my future.

* * *

_**WAKANDA** _

The rumble from the jet engine put me to sleep quickly, and I dreamed about God knows what. Most of my dreams nowadays weren't memorable.

_"You have arrived at your destination..."_

I sighed and went into the bathroom and stripped out of my clothes, putting on the jean shorts and a new tank top and grey sweats.

I looked down from the shuttle doors to see T'Challa and Shuri smiling at me.

"Welcome back, Natasha," Shuri said as the stairs came undone.

"Ms. Romanoff, how are you?" T'Challa smiled and gestured me to the car.

"Tired." I followed him.

"I assure you, you will get your rest soon."

I sighed in content as large buildings started to surround us as we went deeper into the city. I haven't been to Wakanda since I lost Annabelle. This place harbored a lot of sad memories and painful times for me, a time that I would not like to revisit.

"Do you know where it is?" I asked, trying to take my mind off of the uneasiness that I was feeling. I should be excited, but I was too anxious.

"Okoye' has given us the directions; we know the way."

The car started going through the streets, and I noticed that the tall skyscrapers thinned as we reached the far eastern side of the city.

"One more stop." T'Challa shut off the car when we reached the docks, Shuri followed us.

"What do we need a boat for?"

"You'll see."

We reached a small boat at the edge, which was built for speed and not luxury since it only sat three. It looked kind of like a bullet. T'Challa helped me down and then started the boat thunderously.

Even at our rapid pace, the boat trip still took about forty minutes. It was light enough to see the small island where T'Challa was headed. Though I was confused out of my mind, I had to admit that the scenery was gorgeous. The blue water that streams down the waterfall was beautiful, surrounded by fever trees and plants.

"Yes."

We neared the island, and I saw a dock, but T'Challa just slowed the boat in the water and let it coast slowly. 

"I'll help you." T'Challa held out his hands.

"I can walk," I took off my shoes and jumped over the side of the boat, landing in the water with a splash.

I looked up and noticed that we were in front of a small beautiful house on the hill. It had giant windows, and from the outside, it looked like there must have been at least two floors.

"He built this?" I asked in awe.

"Yes," Shuri approached me with her hands behind her back. "Okoye told me he had a lot of time on his hands after you two..."

"Lost our daughter." I finished without hesitation.

"Yes," T'Challa nodded. "I had my people furnish the place a couple of days ago. I hope you like it."

He opened the door to the house, and we went in.

It was filled with plush white furniture, hardwood floors, open windows, and a rustic feel.

"Come on." He ushered me inside."

T'Challa led me up to the stairs quickly to the second floor. He ushered me into a room. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to let me know."

I noticed that I was in a library. The house was a decent size, and it was beautiful. This could be home.

"Wow." I looked around, open-mouthed and in amazement.

I went over to the dark, wooden desk in front of the open window and picked up the copy of Wuthering Heights. It was one of those old copies and probably the first edition. A vase of flowers was sitting next to it.

I looked at them curiously as I held one to my nose, inhaling its scent. They were crocus, my favorite flowers from home.

And they were fresh...

"I knew you'd like them," a husky voice said from across the room. 

I dropped the flower from my hands, and it landed with a light thud by the time I turned around.

I was staring at a ghost; I must have been because if I wasn't, I was going insane.

"You always told me they reminded you of home."

Steve was standing in the doorway, the perfect picture of masculine beauty. The black t-shirt hugged on his body, showing off a tight set of muscles that were rolling underneath tanned skin. The bronze hair that I remembered was a little lighter now with more blonde in it and still wildly tamed, but his face was the same; reliable, defined, chiseled and clean-cut. A small scar came down his left cheek.

"Hey Nat," he said, and the grin that I had dreamed about creased his lips.

My body was shaking so badly that I couldn't see straight. "You're...you..."

He got so close to me that I could smell his scent, and I shut my eyes, wishing that I would wake up from this nightmare.

"I'm here, Nat." I felt a warm hand cup my cheek. "I'm here."

"Stop doing this. You're not real; you can't be." I shook my head.

"Natasha, open your eyes."

"No, you can't do this to me. You're dead." I shoved him hard in the chest, but I wanted to hold him. "You're not Steve!"

"I am."

I opened my eyes, and the man had the nerve to have that smirk on his face still.

I couldn't control myself as my hand just slapped the shit out of him. Skin met skin, and a loud sound echoed off of the walls. I needed that sound to make sure this wasn't my imagination. Maybe I was trying to see if he was real, or perhaps I need to get out some frustration, but I did it again. My failures would never be truly gone, but with each slap, they got better.

After the fifth hard slap to the face, the man's cheeks were red, and his hair was falling into his face.

"Steve's dead." My voice cracked.

"I'm right here, Natasha." The man's deep voice was remorseful and sad, but firm. "I'm here."

"Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you let me know that you were okay?" I slapped him again because I now had no control over my rage.

"I couldn't." Steve didn't stop my hand. "It was my choice."

He didn't say anything, and I suspected that he was waiting for me to continue, but my breathing was coming too quickly to speak coherently. I slapped him again, just because I could and debated on whether I should knee him in the balls. I didn't so that he could keep some manhood about him.

"How did you survive?" I whispered.

"It wasn't easy, I hopped out a few seconds before it detonated but, " He lifted his shirt, revealing severe scars and burns. "It didn't go as planned."

"I thought I lost you." I was determined not to let the tears fall. "No one told me a thing, and I was sick to my stomach for the past two weeks because I thought you were dead; not that I care, because I'm still pissed at you. Does anyone else know?

"No, no one knows except you, T'Challa, Okoye' and Shuri. Everyone else thinks I'm dead, and I want it to stay that way."

"Why?"

"So that I could finally start my life with you, Nat." He smiled weakly. "The war is over...we can move forward now."

"I don't know if we can, Steve..." I felt a warm tear streak down my face.

"I will beg you if that's what you want." His voice almost cracked. "I will crawl for forgiveness."

I was crying pretty badly by this point. "Steve, stop."

I took my hands from his and tried to calm down. I needed to think about this and without the new Ghost, Steve staring me in the face. Could this be happening? Was Steve here after all the tears I had cried over him? It had to be a trick.

"What have you been doing all this time?" I asked to talk about something.

He shrugged. "Sit back and read mostly. It's a relaxing life."

"You left me." I felt like I was a parrot, repeating myself every five seconds.

"And for that, I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make it all better."

"I know."

"So you're retired?" I sniffled.

"Yes, and I want to spend the rest of my days with you and our child... if you'll still have me."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to scream and shout and cry, but just being this close to Steve was bringing back deep feelings that I had missed. As much as I hated him, I just wanted him to hold me, love me. That sounded pathetic, but I didn't care.

"I'm sorry, Nat. I can't say it enough," he whispered, taking my hand and placing it on his chest, over his heart. I could feel the tattoo, which he had gotten for me, and his skin was warm.

I didn't know what to do. I had so many questions that he was going to answer, but suddenly I didn't want to hear it all.

As much as I hated him with my head, my heart wouldn't shut up. Steve was here, and I was here; finally, together again. He was right. We had an unbreakable bond, and that was only intensified now.

Once again, my feet carried me towards him. I couldn't help myself.

"Forgiveness comes with time, Steve. You can't just show up and expect everything to go back to normal." I spoke calmly.

"I realize that. I'm asking you to give me a chance. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you. Anything you want, you can have."

"Steve..."

"I will walk through the fire, Natasha. What can I do? Tell me, and I'll do it."

"Look at me," I said.

He raised his head slightly but didn't say anything.

I couldn't help the smile that I tried to fight as I stared at him. He was still handsome and looked younger if that was possible. I could tell that his eyes were sad. The blue had dulled somewhat, and I couldn't remember him looking so tortured.

"God, I hate you." I ran my hand through his soft curls.

"I know." He exhaled.

I touched his face, running my hand along his cheek. I had to make sure that he was real.

"I was waiting for you, both of you." He kissed my palm, which shot an electric current through my veins. For the first time in two weeks, I felt like I could breathe again.

His hands were now on the small bump on my belly, "How's the baby?"

"OK," I sniffled. "The morning sickness is over with, and I have to schedule for an appointment soon."

"That's good."

I was too choked up to say anything.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you." Steve wiped my face.

"Do you still love me?" I asked, needing to know.

"How could you even ask me that question?" He rested his forehead on mine. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Nat. You have my heart and my soul; I'm willing to give you anything else. Just…stay...please."

I couldn't help myself as I rose on my toes and meshed my lips to his.

It was one of those explosive, eruptive, electrifying, epic kisses that should only be shown in movies. After two weeks apart, neither of us was holding back, and flashes of memories started flooding back of a time when I was happy with Steve. Could we have that again? Everything was telling me yes. It was going to take years, tons of tears, and a lot of shouting on my part, but was I willing even to give him that chance?

What was I giving up by not staying? A shot at true love? A once and a lifetime spark? I was young, but I knew Steve and I had it. We had been through it all, and the strength of my feelings was making it almost impossible for me to deny the possibility of staying.

Once we were both exhausted, we pulled away slightly. Steve's forehead was on mine again as his breath washed over my face. I had soft tears on my face, and he wiped them away. I had made my decision, and by the look in his eyes, I could tell that he knew what I was thinking.

"So, now what?" I looked up and smiled at him.

"Now," He smiled back. "It's the beginning of the rest of our lives."

And he bent down and kissed me once more, making me melt in his embrace.

* * *

**_5 YEARS AGO..._ **

_Emerald Ravira walked into her home quietly, anxious not to make any noise. She needed not to make any noise._

_A voice in the back of her head was telling her always that what she was doing was wrong. But one look at the beautiful child in her arms, and the guilt quickly washed away. But until then, she had to accept the cold chill that had settled into her bones. A chill that she could not shake._

_Was it guilt?_

_Fear?_

_"Emerald?"_

_At the call of her name, Emerald returned to reality, fear creeping into her heart. Standing before her was her husband, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He looks haggard, bags under his eyes. Small patches of acne breaking out along his chin, no glow to his skin at all. Stress and lack of sleep would cause that._

_"Honey, I...I thought you were going to be at the office tonight." She whispered, her voice shaking._

_He stared at her for a moment, "I had to leave early because of the massive storm. Why are you here, with a baby, nonetheless?"_

_For a brief second, Emerald's stomach began to churn with guilt and disgust. Twisting and spinning as she thought back to the events that had just happened moments ago, what she was keeping hidden to secure her happiness._

_"Emerald..."_

_"Let me put her down, please..." Her eyes were silently pleading with him as the baby stirred in her arms._

_He nodded curtly before nudging her to the nursery that was once meant for their son. His eyes closed at a distant memory._

_"My precious boy." He breathed, remembering the day his son crumbled into ashes in his arms._

_After Emerald closes the door softly, her husband whipped his head towards her angrily, "Emerald, you better tell me what the hell is going on right now."_

_"Thomas..."_

_"Now." He said solemnly, not backing down at all._

_She took a deep a breath before she began, "The mother was unconscious when I delivered the baby. I...cleaned off the child and checked her vitals."_

_"A girl..." Thomas quirked his brow. " The baby was a girl?"_

_Emerald nodded, "Yes, a little girl."_

_She placed her hand on her chest, bracing herself for her next words, "And as I was staring down at this beautiful child, it hit me." Her eyes met her husbands and her gaze saddened. "Ethan...we lost him, and no other child could ever replace him, but..."_

_Thomas stepped away from her, looking as if his wife was going insane, "What did you do, Emerald?"_

_"I made a decision," She croaked. "And I don't think I can ever look at myself the same again."_

_Emerald's eyes flashed with regret as another memory popped into her brain, "When the father arrived, I told my first lie. He was heartbroken. And...when she woke up, he told her the terrible news."_

_"Then what happened?" Thomas asked, trying to press more information out his wife."_

_She sat down and placed her face in her hands, "I had another patient tonight, she had a long drive while she was in labor. The baby was stillborn by the time she arrived; she didn't even want to look at her daughter."_

_"Emerald, what are you saying to me right now?"_

_She didn't even bother to wipe the tears off her cheek, "I took that stillborn baby from earlier, and I put it in her arms."_

_Thomas' heart stopped, "Oh my god...you switched the babies?"_

_Reluctantly, she nodded._

_His eyes flashed with anger as he pointed to the bedroom door, "What is the name of the mother of the baby in there?"_

_"What does it matter?"_

_"Dammit Emerald, tell me now!"_

_Her lips quivered, "Thomas..."_

_"Tell me!" He slammed his hands on the coffee table, making his wife jump._

_"Natasha..." She whispered. "Natasha Romanoff."_

_Thomas' anger faded away and turned into absolute fear, "You took Black Widow's child."_

_"It's our child now..."_

_"Are you out of your damn mind, Emerald?" Thomas said through seething teeth. "This baby isn't ours. You could lose your medical license for this, not to mention prison. Or better yet, your life once she finds out that you stole her baby!"_

_Emerald shivered at the thought. She knew the consequences of her actions. There was no going back._

_"We can't tell anyone, Thomas." She begged, her eyes pleading for him to be on his side. " We can raise this baby together, just like we were going to do for Ethan."_

_In all the years he had known his wife, he had never seen her so desperate, so raw with pain. Losing their son during the events was very tragic, but this was wrong, and he knew that._

_"Emerald, this is a crime. You stole this baby out of her mother's arms, and now you're claiming it as you're own? This is wrong."_

_"I know," She whispered, tears falling down her cheek. "I haven't been the same since we lost our little boy, but... if I can give this child the life we were gonna give Ethan..."_

_"We could have adopted, Emerald. Anything but this."_

_"I know! I just... I reacted!" She huffed. "I can't take it back, Thomas. The best thing I can do right now is to move on from this ugly chapter of my life. But I need you... I need you to be by my side on this. Please, I'm your wife."_

_Deep down, Thomas knew this was wrong. It was an absolute crime, but the fact was that she was his wife, and he had to support her for better or worse. Thomas sighed in defeat as he looked at his wife's eyes, knowing his decision._

_"No one can know especially Natasha. She can never know that her baby is alive."_

* * *

Edge of Faith will return...


	16. PART II|I.

_Steve's POV  
_ _"True love is rare, and it's the only thing that gives real-life meaning." — Nicholas Sparks_

* * *

_9 MONTHS LATER_

The hot sun beat down on me from above as I ran through the grass, barefoot and shirtless. The picturesque landscape passed me by in a blur as my pace picked up with every step.

This was the time of day that I loved.

Even though it was only eight in the morning, the Wakanda sun was up and ready to greet the world. It was hot, but not unpleasant because the thick sea breeze was wafting around my head like a whirlwind. Even in February, the tropical atmosphere made the temperature a constant seventy.

I pushed myself harder during my run, and just like every morning, my lungs burned painfully from the exertion of my body. It felt good, so I went faster. My legs gave out sometime after the fifth mile. It was surprising that I didn't already lap the island by now. It was only but so big.

I collapsed on the hot sand and controlled my breathing, blowing long streams of air into the cloudless sky.

I was going to turn one hundred and six this year, and my body was feeling it.

One hundred and six!

How did I get so old?

As the rest of the world knew it, I was dead, but of course, that was a complete fabrication. It had been nine months that I had been living this lie, and to be honest, it got better every day. A life without restrictions was one I never thought I would be accustomed to, but it suited me well.

I had to leave my entire life behind. While I was away, what hurt the most was losing Natasha. She was and remained to be, my everything, the love of my life. And I knew that wasn't going to change anytime soon.

I guess it was ironic that I had to give my life away to get Natasha back, though.

It hurt every day I had to spend without her.

After she arrived, well, it's been... a rough couple of months. The aftermath of her anger was something I had never experienced. She had so much to say and never stopped saying it. Not that I blamed her.

Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.

I knew that better than any person on the planet. I didn't think Natasha would ever forgive me. How could she? I had left her, abandoned her when she needed me the most. But Natasha had a good heart. I never thought she would even give me the time of day. Thankfully, I was wrong. I would be forever in her debt, not only for giving me a second chance but also for everything we've been through.

Natasha and I worked everything out in those few months after she got here. It's been nonstop lovemaking since then.

Our relationship now was stronger than I remembered it ever being. I realized that few things in this world could kill me. Living without Natasha was one of them. I had to take anything that came with that.

She was feistier than ever, most likely from the pregnancy mood swings. I knew that all too well. I think she was over keeping her emotions in. The time for that had passed.

Some might ask how the hell were we still together after everything we've put each other through. I didn't question it. I just rolled with everything that came my way because above all else; we loved each other.

Now, our lives were almost perfect. We didn't have anyone to answer to. That was probably the best part. No ties to the real world so this sense of freedom settled over my life, which was slightly disconcerting at first, but I quickly got used to it.

We lived our lives on and around this island, making trips to Wakanda whenever we wanted. Our experience couldn't be better...but there was still one more step left.

I jogged to the side of the house, which had been our home for the past seven months, and stripped out of the shorts I was in. I spent a couple of minutes in the outdoor shower, washing the pesky dirt from my body and hair.

That was the one bad thing about living on an island with nothing but grass. The sand and dirt were everywhere. I had got used to it somewhat, but when it stayed on my skin for too long, I got very antsy.

After I was sure that my body was free from it, I turned the water off and grabbed a plush towel out of the cupboard near the shower. I dried my hair and wrapped the towel around my waist before heading inside.

I went into the bedroom and didn't see Natasha. I got dressed in what I always wore: sweats and a tee shirt. That was all I needed when we weren't doing anything, like today.

It took me one guess as to where Natasha was. I walked into the largest room in our house, the library.

She was quietly going through the books which were neatly organized alphabetically. She was in nothing more than a shirt and dark blue boy shorts, which barely covered her bottom. I just stood there and looked at her, unashamed of myself. Sometimes I swear I was looking at a mirage. Could she still be here?

"Stop eye-fucking me, Rogers," she said without even turning around. "It's not polite."

"Could you blame me?" I went to the ladder and held it steady as she climbed higher.

"I spilled orange juice on my pants. They're being washed, and I'm too busy looking for this book to get new ones. You can eye-fuck until I get some clothes."

"Thank you," I replied, being completely honest. "What are you looking for?"

"I just remembered that I didn't finish 'We the Living' before you put it away last night."

"You fell asleep when I was reading. I finished it."

"How thoughtful of you." She started her climb back down.

"Careful there, Nat."

"I'm pregnant Steve, not fragile," She complained.

"Well, I'm not taking any chances..." Before she could climb down, I cradled her in my arms bridal style before setting her on the ground.

"Show off." She rolled her eyes, standing in front of me in all her glory.

My heart nearly stopped when I found out we were having twins.

Twins...

Two of them. Not just one, but two. I still couldn't comprehend it, but when we heard the heartbeats on the sonic ultrasound. Natasha's face almost broke from smiling so much. I couldn't show my uneasiness. 

Natasha was happy, and that was all that mattered to me. I would get on board with anything that made her smile. Natasha called everyone back at home, and they were happy as well. Tony volunteered to stay over for a while until the babies arrived, but we both knew that couldn't happen.

Neither of us had changed much in our appearances — still the same ole Natasha and Steve. Her hair was long and completely red; my hair was shorter and lighter. Even though Nat was ready to pop anytime soon, we looked tanned and fit, like something out of a health magazine, but there wasn't much else to do on this island besides run around all day in the sun.

"What?" she asked, self-conscious from my staring.

"Nothing." I shrugged. "You're just lovely."

She blushed, deep and full just like I liked it. Natasha and I were attuned to each other on a level that I had never heard of before. She thought something, and I could almost tell what it was and vice versa. Now, she felt that I needed a kiss.

She rose up on her toes, and our lips touched. The electricity was still there, the fire was still there, and the passion was still there. It was always this way.

Natasha just went in for a short kiss this morning because she knew that things could quickly spiral out of control in seconds if we let them.

"I can't wait to get back to work," She bypassed me, carrying her book, and went out of the library.

I followed her into our room where she was putting on a pair of sweatpants, but then took them off. It was going to be hot out today. She settled for shorts. 

"Why, you're fine where you are," I commented and sat on the bed.

"But I like working Steve, and you know that."

Natasha worked at a club in Wakanda as a bartender, which I didn't like at all. When she first told me that she wanted to get a job, I was adamantly against it. Natasha said she wanted something to do. I let up a little bit and, of course, she had to get the one job I almost forbid her from.

Of course, she assured me that nothing wrong happened at her club, but I knew better. She was taking a maternal leave until the babies arrived, but I was hoping I could change her mind before she went back.

"Maybe you should think about getting a job." Natasha scaled the tall bed and straddled me, pushing my body back into the covers.

"I don't want one. Taking care of you two is my only job."

"You're bored here." Her finger traced the stubble on my jaw.

"No, I'm not," I sort of lied.

Sure, there were some days when I wished I had something to do, but I wasn't complaining. My old life might be behind me, although, I was never too far away from it. Now and then... I get this rush, the rush that lets me know that it's time to go to work.

But those days are over now, Steve.

"Idle hands are the devil's playthings," Natasha tsked me.

"My hands are never idle." They traveled over her body, sliding down her back and ending on her backside that I loved so much. I cupped it roughly, and she yelped.

"Oh, Rogers. Always looking for a good time." She kissed my chin. "Unfortunately, I'm hungry, so this will have to wait until later."

I smiled as I gently rolled her off my lap," You are the worse kind of tease."

"I can't help it." Natasha winked

Natasha grimaced when the ball of her feet touched the ground. She quickly recovered her face because she knew I would start worrying, but it was too.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," She said smoothly, not daring to move just yet.

"What's wrong?" I questioned anxiously. "Did I hurt you?"

"No." She shook her head.

"You're lying. It's your feet again, isn't it?"

"No," She said stubbornly.

"Give them here," I instructed. "I told you to take it easy today."

"I'm fine. It's just a little tickle." She placed her feet on my lap, and I began massaging them, pressing right where she needed me to.

I kneaded her feet and tenderly released the pressure from there. She moaned unabashedly with my touch.

"Why don't you ever listen to me?" I chastised. "You can be so stubborn sometimes."

"Well I don't take orders from you anymore now don't I," She replied sarcastically. "I'm capable of doing things on my own Rogers. You know I hate feeling like a damsel in distress."

"I know you can take care of yourself, Nat. But every once and a while, you have to let someone else take care of you too."

Her lips went into a thin line before she sighed, "I'm sorry, ok? It's just..." Her eyes met mine, and they softened, "I'm terrified, Steve."

"Of?"

Natasha looked away from me, "Failing another child."

We could talk about Annabelle without wincing or awkward silence, but it was still a sensitive subject to us even after all these years.

"Natasha it wasn't your fault."

"But what if it was?" She whispered. "What if I had stayed awake that night, she would be here with us right now, Steve."

"You don't know that, honey."

Tears left her eyes, and I immediately pulled her into my arms, "It's alright, Nat."

"The sun will rise on us again," I breathed into her hair, knowing what I had to next. "I promise."

* * *

Natasha's POV

"On your feet, Romanoff!"

I groaned, rolling over in bed, away from that hateful voice.

"Oh no, you don't. You need to get up."

"Okoye, leave me alone!" I huffed. "Why are you even here?"

"Hey, do I look like I want to be awake at this ungodly hour? No! Instead, I'm here trying to keep a promise to a friend, and you're not making it easy for me."

"What promise?"

"Never mind that," she growled. "Are you going to get up, or are you going to make a liar out of me?"

I was inclined to do the latter, but something in her eyes told me that I would seriously regret that decision. Acknowledging defeat, I threw the covers off and headed to the bathroom.

The house was dark, silent, and cold. That's because the sane people were asleep, snug in their beds. I was exhausted. But I told myself to do this one thing for Okoye', and then I would be able to crawl back into the warmth of my bed and rest for a few more hours before I started my day.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was a little rounder, but I just looked healthy. I looked down at my swollen belly and rubbed it in a soothing circle, "Soon, little ones."

I finished up in the bathroom and made my way back into my old bedroom where Okoye was sitting on the end of the bed, waiting for me. "Let's go," she said.

I looked down at my baggy sweats and the oversized t-shirt I had slept in. "I need to get dressed."

"You don't. What you're wearing is perfect."

I shrugged. At this point, I didn't care where she was taking me or that I looked like a slob. If she said it was fine, who was I to argue with her? I threw on a sweater and slipped into my grungy tennis shoes, and I followed her out of the house.

"Okay, what are we doing here?" Although it was late August, it was early enough that it was still chilly outside. I could see the beginnings of a beautiful sunrise to the east, looming over the treetops and mountains.

"You, my dear, have a date," Okoye said. She looked rather pleased with herself too. When she started to walk down the well-worn path to the oasis, I kicked off my shoes and followed her.

When we got down to the beach, my mouth fell open in shock. A drift-wood fire was burning near the beautiful waterfall. Next, to it, an aisle had been made from seashells and seaweed and at the end of the aisle, wearing a huge smile and a t-shirt and jeans were Steve.

T'Challa stood by his side looking ridiculous in an obnoxiously loud Hawaiian shirt paired with neon green track pants. I didn't even notice Shuri was beside me until she wrapped my arm around her and started walking with me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She laughed and shook her head like I was the crazy one. "I'm walking you down the aisle, genius."

I was too stunned to protest, so I let her lead me down the aisle of sand towards the man of my dreams.

"What's going on?"

"Natasha, when I asked you to marry me, you said that you would be perfectly happy getting married in nothing but your baggy sweats and a grungy t-shirt, just as long as we were together."

"Uh, huh…"

"I'm done waiting, and it's time I stepped up and became a man. This is just for us, for you and me. What do you say, Nat? Will you marry me?"

I looked around at the setting, at the beautiful blue flames from the driftwood fire and heard the water flowing into the small pool. And right in front of me was the most beautiful vision I'd ever seen or ever would see; the love of my life.

"Yes," I answered without hesitation.

"Let's the ceremony begin," Shuri clapped her hands, and the performers began to dance some ritual. It was beautiful.

Steve took my hands in his. T'Challa stood before us, sifting through the pages of a used book, and that's when I realized he was serving as our minister. I looked at Steve, who merely winked at me, and I smiled and laughed, thinking that this was the perfect wedding I could ever imagine. I was with the man I loved, marrying him in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

"Ladies and gentlemen," T'Challa began, "we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Steven Grant Rogers to Natasha Alianovna Romanoff. These two have been through so many hardships and heartbreak. Their love has always been pure and true, and that's why they are here, to finalize their love commitment to each other and their family. You two may now exchange vows..."

"Nat, I tell you every day how much you mean to me. I don't know if I can say it in a new or profound way to make you understand. I love you. I love you so much. You and our child," he glanced down at my belly then he quickly averted his gaze, "are the most important thing to me. Nothing else matters and nothing else ever will. And I'm going to spend every day of the rest of my life proving that to you."

I smiled at him, hastily wiping the tears away from my eyes.

"Natasha, you may now exchange your vows to Steve."

I looked at him once more and let the emotions flow out smoothly.

"I've never felt anything like this in my life. Steve, I never knew that I could feel this way about another person. You came into my life and showed me how to love and taught me what it takes to be a good woman. I know it sounds kind of corny, but I didn't know what I was before I met you and I can't tell you how much your guidance has meant to me."

Steve smiled back at me. My body and mind were reaching a level of love that I didn't even know were possible.

I continued, "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. To laugh with you, take care of you, and be someone that you can depend on. I vow to love you always. No matter what happens."

T'Challa turned another page and looked at me with kind eyes.

"Steve, do you…"

"Yes."

"Natasha, do you…"

"Yes."

Well, if that's all then, it is now my great pleasure to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Steve Rogers. You may now kiss your bride."

He brought my face to him gently, and when our lips connected, I knew that I could never live without Steve or even think about being with anyone except him. I could hear the dull roar of people as they applauded around us, but it felt like my head was submerged underwater.

"Finally," Steve spoke with a hushed tone and a smile played on his lips.

"I know right," I replied and kissed him again.

T'Challa grinned as he held out two beautiful plants in his hands, "These are  _Pelargonium culallatum_ , these plants represent faith and love. Those who share it, their destiny shall be intertwined until the end of time.

As he placed it in our hands, Steve and I shared a look before feeding it to each other. I couldn't help but moan at the tingling sensation it brought to my tongue.

As the men and women danced in celebration, I was connected to Steve amidst a beautiful sunrise. I was wrapped in his arms, and we were…

"Wait, is this real? Are we married?"

Steve smiled. "It's the real thing, Nat. You're my wife."

Wife. God, I loved how that sounded. "Well, husband, what do we do now..."

Another sensation waved over me, and it was...strange. My breathing hitched as I looked at the puddle between my feet.

"What," Steve asked, "What's wrong?"

He looked down immediately and noticed the liquid that was still trickling down my legs.

"Nat?"

The anxiety in his tone and his eyes made me anxious too. I reached up my hands to touch his face and gasped slightly, "I think...I think it's time."

* * *

"Steve!" The pain I felt was intensifying by the second. "Steve!" I cried out, hoping he could hear me.

"Natasha, I'm right here beautiful. You're doing great." His voice appeared next to my ear. It was in anguish, the pain I felt, he felt. "Doctor, can't you do anything?" My panting became labored as a burning sensation flew through my veins.

A voice answered from the foot of the bed. "No, she has to do what she can from here. I can't give her any more pain killers. It'll be a few more minutes."

A cold hand pressed against my burning forehead. His breath fanned against my face. It made it that much easier.

"Nat," Steve whispered in my ear. "I'm right here. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. Focus on pushing. It's almost over." His palms caressed my face trying to get me to calm down.

"Steve..." The fire was taking over my senses. It was time, but I couldn't focus. I needed him to help.

"It's alright, Nat, just push." His cool breath blew in my face, and it made it that much easier. With one final push, I slipped into the darkness. My heart fluttered when I heard small anguished cries broke out for the first time. I couldn't help but laugh lightly.

_I did it..._

"Natasha?" His calm voice whispered in my ear. "You did it."

"I did it," I breathed again in amazement, my eyes still closed.

"I'm so proud of you."

And with that, my eyes drew open searching for his face. With a sigh of relief, he bent down and touched his lips to mine. I could tell that he was filled with more joy and excitement than I had ever seen him.

"Do you want to hold them?" He asked me gently.

"Of course." All I wanted was to stay here and look at what we had created together. A doctor came from the shadows behind Steve and placed my son in my arms, who was wrapped tightly in a blue striped blanket.

His eyes were closed as he yawned and waved a small pink fist in my face, "My handsome little boy, I love you so much."

Steve smiled softly as he cradled our son to his chest. They were lost in their world as Steve smiled down at him affectionately.

"What do you want to name him?" I asked Steve. I figured he had the right to name his son. He didn't look up.

"He needs a strong name." Steve thought for a second. "Tobias."

"Tobias?"

"Tobias Edward Rogers."

"Edward?"

He smiled softly, "It's Tony's middle name."

"I think he would love that," I had to smile, he was just so sweet.

"When we were kids, Bucky would always tell me that he always wanted his name to be Tobias. Do you like it?"

"I think it's perfect."

He leaned in close to Tobias' face. "Do you like it, son? You'll have to live up to that name. I expect amazing things from you."

Tobias just yawned wildly, waving his hands over his father's face.

I looked to my right to see another doctor, holding my daughter in her arms.

I gasped slightly as I let her slip into my grasp.

Her eyes were opened and were that bluish-grey of all babies. She had a small patch of blonde hair just like her brothers. She looked around the room in wonder and admiration.

"Nat..." Steve asked as I stared down at my daughter.

She had her little hand wrapped tightly around my finger, and I compared the color of our skin. Hers was slightly lighter than mine. The blonde color of her hair was different from both of ours, but her eyes I knew well, and it was in them that she reminded me of Annabelle. I smiled at the thought of her, knowing that she was smiling down at the sight of her siblings.

"I love you, Caroline Adele Rogers." I bent down and kissed her forehead. "More than you'll ever know."

A wave of peace swam over me as I resided with the three most important things next to me.


	17. PART II|II.

_Natasha's POV_  
_"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."_  
_— Maya Angelou_

* * *

_"Ready to go, mommy?" Annabelle asked, her voice sounding like the soft tinkling of wind chimes " The sun's come out, a little bit. We should go now."_

_"It's freezing out, Nat, don't let her into the water. Her toes nearly fell off the last time."_

_"I promise, Rogers."_

_"Don't you leave your mother's sight, you hear me, Annabelle?" The girl mumbled a response, mostly to her shoes. "Annabelle Rogers, you promise to stay where your mother can see you, and don't take off your jacket or boots."_

_"Yes, father."_

_"That's my girl." Steve smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Have fun, you two."_

_She walked a few paces behind me, placing her shoes in the imprints mine made in the wet grass. She took wide, awkward steps and chatted as she went, utterly oblivious to the world around her._

_This gave me ample time to study my daughter, who could easily pass as a year younger than she was. Her eyes, trained with an intense focus on the footprints, were a deep glassy blue with flecks of gray and green- I could have sworn I saw them flash red once, during an intense tantrum,_

_When the small amounts of sun hit her skin, it did not sparkle or shimmer. Instead, it was slightly luminescent- as if she was standing under a stream of bright moonlight._ _As she chattered, her cheeks flushed prettily, and her lumbering footsteps grew more and more energetic until she was right next to me, smiling up at me._

_She was beautiful, and she was perfect._

_But she wasn't alive..._

_"Come find me, mommy!"_

I jumped awake as a heavy arm around my waist, pinned me to the bed. Behind me, Steve slumbered, unaware of my turmoil, and I was loathed to wake him. He didn't get much sleep a sit was thanks to the babies. He sighed and shifted under the sheets, his naked body brushing mine. I pressed a soft kiss to his jaw before I extracted myself from his embrace and padded to the bathroom. I tried dousing my face in cold water to wash away the dream. It didn't work. My mind still whirred around the images in my head, and my racing heart hadn't slowed much.

Instead of crawling back into bed, where I knew I'd only lay awake, I slipped out of the room and walked to the kitchen of the small house. Pre-dawn light streamed through the large windows, highlighting the remnants of the meal Steve and I had shared before practically attacking each other. I smiled at the memory, my heart racing for different reasons now. Over the intervening years, our passion for each other hadn't waned; if anything, it'd only gotten stronger.

I jumped slightly when I heard Steve's footsteps approaching the kitchen, "Hey, you alright?" He asked, pulling on his underwear in the process.

When I looked up at him, I felt the familiar flutters in my stomach. Steve's broad shoulders and defined muscles never failed to make my body stand up and take notice. Heck, his body had done that when we were in high school, and he didn't look half as good then as he did now.

"I couldn't sleep," I smiled weakly, pouring myself a cup of coffee and inhaling a rich aroma. The final fog of my dream was being pushed aside by the strong smell.

"Well, two kids can do that to a woman," he answered. "Among other things." He winked at me and kissed the side of my head.

I laughed at his corny line to keep the mood light. It was a testament to how far we'd come that mentions of when he'd taken my heart before didn't send us both spiraling downward. My fingers tangled with his underneath the table and squeezed, though, in happiness. He grinned at me and took a sip of his coffee.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" I lifted his hands and placed a soft kiss on it. "How far we've come."

"It is. It just shows how much we're committed to each other." Steve smiled, brushing his thumb over my ring. We laughed softly when we heard Tobias crying in the other room.

"That boy will be the death of me, I tell you." Steve sighed, getting up from the counter.

"I was thinking about going for a run for a little bit with Shuri," I said suggestively. "Figured I get my body back together. Will you be okay until I get back?"

"Of course, I think that's a great idea, Mrs. Rogers." Steve smiled as he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. "I love you," he whispered.

"Love you, too," I responded with a small smile.

After a bittersweet departure with Steve and the kids, Shuri and I took off through the city, running a track she seemed to know well. The city was huge but not in all areas, so it took us past the flower shop, the bank, the police station, and the diner. People greeted each other in the street and knew each other by name. I'd loved this place once upon a time.

Shuri and I stopped near the park, panting and leaning over. I could barely catch my breath. Around us, kids played on the old Little League fields and the swing set nearby. A black Mercedes sped by us and pulled to a stop by the curb.

A young girl got out of the car and grabbed a ball bag from the back seat, followed by a familiar woman. My breath caught in my throat, and I froze.

"Sabrina, don't leave the field until your father gets here," Dr. Ravira hollered from the window as the kid walked toward the baseball field. "He shouldn't be more than about thirty minutes."

" _Sawa, mama_ , I got it," she answered, waving and jogging away.

The car pulled away, but I still couldn't move. Tears pricked at my eyes at sight.

"Natasha. Natasha!" Shuri yelled, shaking my shoulders. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I shook my head frantically, unable to tear my eyes away from the baseball fields. I couldn't see the kid anymore, but I knew she was out there somewhere. "Shuri, I need you to get ahold of Steve for me," I managed to stutter out.

She didn't ask any more questions, and I saw her feet take off in my peripheral vision. When my view started to tunnel, I tore my eyes away and settled my head between my knees. Was this like my dreams, me seeing a child and making her into Annabelle in my mind? Had I completely lost touch with reality? I didn't think so, but did crazy people ever think they were nuts?

"Natasha, what happened?" Steve asked as he ran up and knelt in front of me. "Are you okay? I left the kids with Okoye when I got Shuri's call."

I threw myself into Steve's arms and started sobbing. "I saw her. Annabelle... she didn't die. I knew it. She's here, and she's okay, and oh, God!"

Steve tensed as soon as Annabelle's name passed my lips, but he didn't pull away. "Shh," he whispered. "You've got to calm down, angel. I don't understand. Are you hurt?"

"I saw her...I saw Annabelle," It was all I could make come out of my mouth.

He looked over to Shuri for help, but the expression on her face wasn't pity or concern. I could practically see the wheels turning in her head.

"Natasha, why don't the three of us walk over there, and you can point her out?" she suggested.

"Shuri..." He gave her a warning tone.

Shuri laid a hand on his arm. "I'm merely suggesting that we walk over to the baseball field and take a look at Dr. Ravira's kid. She just dropped her off. Ravira adopted a child a few years back, and I think maybe it caught Natasha off guard."

We hadn't ever talked about the death of my daughter, but at this moment, I was extremely grateful for her and her compassion. The problem was that I knew, deep down, the girl I'd seen was my daughter—the daughter that had died in childbirth six years before.

Steve helped me to my feet, and we moved slowly over to the fence. My feet were dragging. What if I saw him again and realized he wasn't my Annabelle? Would I be able to handle it? Maybe I should check myself into the psychiatric hospital now.

"Hello, your majesty," the coach called. "Is everything okay?"

"Hello. Everything's fine. Just thought I'd check out this year's team before I headed home," she answered, her eyes scanning the players.

Unfortunately, they were all wearing baseball caps, and it was impossible to tell one kid I didn't know from another. We watched them field the ball for a few minutes, but Steve was getting antsy. I was like a live wire, and I think he was afraid I was going to do something crazy.

Just as he turned to walk away, the coach, called all the team in for a water break, and several kids took off their hats to pour water over their heads. I knew the second Steve's eyes found Dr. Ravira's girl because he stopped and stared.

Shuri followed his gaze and muttered under her breath. "By the gods..."

"Annabelle," Steve whispered. "It's not . . . how is this . . ." He turned to me, but it was almost like he couldn't see me.

"It's her," I whispered, my tears now flowing freely and choking me.

The sound of my anguish snapped Steve from his shock, and he immediately made his way towards her. Shuri immediately placed a hand on his chest to stop him from moving any further. "Steve, I know your emotions are running high, but we don't have any proof that's your child."

Steve was about to move again, but he thought twice about it, "I think we're going to need to pay Dr. Ravira a visit," he growled.

The hospital was like an anthill before the rain. Patients and staff swarmed through the hallways and in and out of exam rooms. The activity set me even more on edge, and I rubbed my bare shoulders reflexively. Steve glanced around and walked us over to the information desk.

"Hello," the perky lady at the information desk said when she set down the phone. "What can I do for you today?"

"Is Dr. Ravira in? I need to speak with her," he said in his most stern voice.

"She is. Let me call up there before I send you up, in case she's with a patient. Is everything okay?" she asked, concerned.

"We'll see," Steve answered.

She didn't wait for more; she just picked up the phone and dialed. Seconds later, she nodded to him. "You can go on up."

My feet were leaden and my heart heavy as we trekked to the elevator and rode in silence up to the third floor where Dr. Ravira's office was. Not even the décor had changed since I'd last been here, and memories flooded my brain. This was the office where the doctor had confirmed my pregnancy, where we'd discussed options, and Steve and I had told him firmly that we were keeping our little girl.

Luckily for me, the room was different. Shelves of books lined the back wall, and two comfortable, padded chairs sat opposite the large wooden desk, which was lined with pictures, presumably of Ravira's family. I didn't turn them to find out.

Once her eyes met ours, it immediately changed to fear and shock. But she hid it well

"Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, what a pleasant surprise," Dr. Ravira greeted, her voice shaking. "Please, have a seat. How is everything?"

Steve motioned for me to sit next to him, and I sat in a daze. "Everything's fine, thank you for asking."

"That's wonderful to hear," she smiled hesitantly, casting a curious glance in my direction. "I heard that you two wedded and have two children, yes?"

"We do," I said curtly.

"Congratulations," she nodded respectfully. "So, what brings you two by?"

I turned my head to the side, now getting tired of her games, "I'd like to ask you a few questions about your daughter."

"Sabrina? What's wrong? Is she okay?" Dr. Ravira sounded panicked.

"She was when we left the park," I said to ease my anxiety. "When was she born?"

"June third. She'll be six this year. What's this about?"

I cleared my throat, tears streaming down my face, "Where was she born?"

"I...I don't know. We adopted her when she was a few days old. Natasha, why are you asking about my daughter?" She demanded.

"Because she's not yours."

"This is nonsense!" Ravira shouted. Her calm demeanor had faded. I watched, detached, as she snatched up the receiver and dialed.

"Thomas, I need you to get in the safe, get Sabrina's adoption papers, and bring them down to my office. Yes, now. I'll tell you when you get here. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. No, don't do that. Just bring the papers down here. You, too." She replaced the handset and stared hard at me. He opened his mouth to speak, but I interrupted her.

"You know, for a while, I've had this dream where I hear Annabelle cry before I pass out...but maybe it wasn't a dream. Maybe it was real," I looked at her, watching her slowly fall apart. "The therapist told me it was a coping mechanism. That it wasn't real. But now, it seems to get more real with every passing day." I whispered. The more I said it and thought it; the more real the idea became to me.

The door yanked open, and it was T'Challa and Shuri that walked in.

"What is the meaning of this?" T'Challa said cautiously.

"Uh, your majesty. . . ." I heard Dr. Ravira say tentatively."Why don't you step in here and close the door? I'm sure this conversation would be better had in private."

Steve's chest expanded against my cheek as he took in a huge breath and held it. It was something he often did when he was angry and trying to rein in his temper. I figured that it was better than throwing things like he used to. He prodded me forward and closed the door behind us, but he never let go. I was grateful because I was sure that, at this moment, he was all that was holding me together.

Shuri paused and looked at her brother, "The girl looked just like Romanoff, brother. It was uncanny."

"As I explained to them here, I'm sure this is all a huge misunderstanding. My husband, Thomas, and I legally adopted Sabrina when she was a baby. He's on his way with the papers," Dr. Ravira said, though she didn't seem as convinced as she had earlier that there was a mistake of some sort.

"I see," Steve said tightly. "Please excuse us for a moment." Steve steered us out the door and down another hallway. He let go of me for a second, only to pace a few feet away. His phone was at his ear before I'd even had a chance to see him dial it. "Okoye, I need you to find everything you can on Emerald and Thomas Ravira. Everything. Yeah, it's urgent. Send it to my phone."

His gaze softened as he looked at me. "Are you okay?" he asked, taking my hands in his.

I thought about it before I answered because I knew that he'd want the real answer and not for me to tell him that I was okay. I wasn't, and we both knew it. "I'm numb. All of a sudden, everything I've lived with and believed for six years could be wrong. Annabelle's death changed everything for both of us; if she'd lived, our lives would have been very different. Now, to find out that maybe she did live, and someone stole her from us...it makes me angry."

Steve ducked slightly to look directly into my eyes. "Do you think it was her, Natasha?"

"Steve, I'm her mother. I may not have raised her, but I would like to think I'd recognize her anywhere. It doesn't hurt that she looks exactly like me," I retorted, and then softened my stance. "But the other, more rational part of me keeps reminding me that I've been living with the death of my child for six years and that maybe I see things where nothing exists. That's why I called you. I don't trust myself."

"We'll get through this," he murmured, pulling me closer again. "I promise," he urged, and we walked back to the room hand in hand.

Dr. Ravira immediately addressed me as soon as I walked in. "Mrs. Rogers, I'm sorry that you have had to deal with this, but I assure you, my husband and I did not steal your daughter."

Her tone set me on edge as much as his words. "But something did happen, though, the day that my daughter was born, and I intend to find out what it was."

Ravira was about to say something else when the door was flung open again, and a man with dark curly hair pushed past T'Challa and went straight to Dr. Ravira. I could only surmise that this was her husband. He clutched a sheaf of papers in his hand, and my detached mind noted that it shook slightly.

"Emerald, what is going on here? Why is the king sitting in your office asking about Sabrina? What's happened?" His level of panic was sky-rocketing.

"It's fine, Tommy. When are you supposed to get Sabrina from practice?" she asked, keeping her voice calm to control the rising tension.

"I already picked her up. She was hungry, so she went down to the cafeteria," he answered. "Why did you need her adoption papers?"

Dr. Ravira carefully considered her words before speaking. "Mrs. Rogers... thought Sabrina looked familiar when I dropped her off at the park. The king is a very good friend of hers. They came to ask me about her."

Mr. Ravira stared intently at Steve, and I recognized the fight in his eyes. To him, this was his child we were discussing, and he would do anything to protect her. His eyes flickered to mine, and immediately, he did a double-take. He repeatedly blinked as if that would clear his vision.

"I see," Thomas whispered, his voice cracking.

"Does she know she's adopted?" I asked.

Dr. Ravira nodded rapidly. "She noticed when she was about five that she didn't look anything like her brother or us. When she asked, we told her that we had chosen to be her parents and that we loved her, even if I hadn't given birth to her.

"You have a son?" I pressed.

She gulped, "Yes, he's only two years old due to some circumstances."

"I see," I whispered, as an intriguing idea popped into my head.

"Okay," T'Challa said, standing. "We've taken up enough of Dr. Ravira's time today, and you two have children to go back home to."

"I need to get Sabrina from the cafeteria, too," Mr. Ravira added. His earlier fear seemed to have come back full force, and I had to admit that I completely understood it, because I felt it, too. This man had my child, and I wanted her back, but he raised her, unlike me.

Dr. Ravira's sharp voice cut into my thoughts. "I would appreciate it if you would stay away from my daughter until we have more information. I don't want to confuse her."

I wanted to protest. I wanted to scream and rail that she was my child, and I had every right to see her if I wanted to, but Steve squeezed my hand, pulling me back from the brink.

"We can agree to that," he answered. "But we won't wait long. I want this resolved, and soon. If she is our daughter, I want to know her."

"Of course," they agreed, mollified for now.

I looked at Ravira's eyes and saw the fear and desperation in her eyes that she tried so hard to keep hidden from me.

But I knew better...

"Let me something clear, Ravira..."

"Nat," Steve warned, but I ignored him.

I slapped my palms on the desk, making her jump slightly, "If that beautiful child is mine, and that you're somehow involved with all the time we've missed with her." I leaned in close, her hot breath hitting my lips. "I will put a bullet through your fucking skull, but not before I beat you senseless and make you feel pain, a pain you've never felt before, the type of pain that I've felt for these past six years."

Ravira opened her mouth but closed it quickly, afraid to speak, "Pray that she's not mine, Ravira. Or I will mark these streets with your blood."

Steve and I left first, following a familiar route from the hospital.

"What do we do now?" I whispered as we stopped by the front entrance.

He sighed and gave me a sad smile. "We wait.

* * *

"We're fucked, we're so fucked!" Thomas whispered, pacing back and forth in front of his wife.

Emerald Ravira tapped her fingers on the hardwood of the massive table as she looked out of the large window.

Her eyes then landed on Sabrina and her baby boy as she rocked him to sleep across the room. They had the look of youth that Sabrina envied: the shiny hair, the smooth skins, the bright eyes, the enthusiasm for life. Most days were a blessing, having two beautiful children by her side to watch, grow, and flourish into mature adults. But some days were not so pleasant.

It had been six hard years for Emerald Ravira, continually looking over her shoulder as she dreaded for this day.

Natasha Romanoff's return.

"I told you she would find out sooner or later, I fucking told you."

Emerald whipped her head towards her husband, "Hold your tongue, she knows nothing."

"Are you kidding me?" Thomas asked in astonishment. "It won't be long before she puts two together and finds out you stole..."

"Shhh!" Emerald hushed him as she nudges her head to the young girl. "Sabrina, why don't you put Ethan in his bed and play downstairs for a while."

"Ok, mama." She smiled sweetly before carefully walking out of the office.

"Listen," Thomas started. "We have Ethan back. The least we can do is give her back to her biological parents."

"No," Emerald said sternly, eyeing her husband. "You heard her; she'll kill me without any hesitation."

"You don't think you deserve that after what you put that woman through?"

Emerald scoffed, "Whose side are you on?"

"Ours!" Thomas sighed, getting on his knees and placing his wife's hands in his. "I told you this was never going to end well in the first place. We have our son back because of her and her husband. The least we can do is the provide the same thing for them."

"I can't," Emerald sighed, her eyes glassing over with tears. "I love that little girl as if she were my own."

"But she's not!" Thomas said through gritted teeth. "I love that girl just as much as you do. But she's not ours. Her parents are two good people, and they deserve their daughter back. We both knew this day was coming sooner or later."

"I can't let her go, Thomas. I'm sorry."

"You're playing a dangerous game, Emerald. She will destroy you for what you put her through."

She laughed ironically at her husband, "Well, dangerous games call for dangerous friends.”

“What’s wrong, mama?" Sabrina asked from her spot behind the doorway. Her bright blond hair shinned off of the lights in the room.

"Oh, Sabrina. I didn't know you were back, sweetheart." Emerald wiped away her tears almost instantly.

"Are you okay?" She rushed towards him. "You’re crying mommy, and I heard baba yelling downstairs."

“Everything's fine, dear." Emerald kissed her forehead. "Just a little scuffle."

"Whatever you say, mama." Sabrina placed her face in the crook of Emerald's neck. “I just want to be there for you, like you are for me.”

Emerald pulled back and smiled weakly at the girl as her green eyes shined under the sunlight, a spitting image of another woman. “I will always be there for you, my love. Nothing or no one will ever change that.”

“Promise?”

“On my life.”

 


	18. PART II|III.

_Steve's POV_  
_"Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That's part of what it means to be alive." — Haruki Murakami_

* * *

I couldn't help but smile at the sight of my son and daughter.

The day they were born would forever be the most important day of my life. It was the day I became a father to my children and a husband to the most amazing woman in the world.

Tobias was a very active little boy. He would never sit still for anything, and even in his sleep, he moved around as if his dreams were coming true.

We brought him home about two days ago, and he was adapting quite well to life outside of the hospital. He and Caroline were like two peas in a pod. I never believed in all that twin nonsense before, but now that I saw it in the flesh, I couldn't deny that there was some connection between the two of them. They had to be changed together, fed together, put down for naps together, and could barely stand to be separated.

I think Caroline knew how sick Tobias was, so she didn't like to be far away from him. The doctor said that twins just had that kind of connection. In short, because of his weak lungs, Tobias had developed a pretty severe case of asthma. You could hear the crackles in his lungs when he took deep breaths. He would pant and cough when he slept on his side, and I had to prop him up sometimes so his breathing would level out. The doctor had given us several different inhalers and also a couple of medications.

I was always worried about him. He was so tiny, and I feared that one day, something horrible was going to happen. I kept picturing different scenarios and trying to convince myself that none of them would ever come true.

Caroline was a different story. She was a fierce one, rarely cried at anything and was perfectly stoic when I picked her up. She would place her hand on my cheek and stare at me for hours. She was precious, but she was going to be a mommy's girl. I could tell.

"Everything alright?" Natasha asked me sleepily as I stared down at them.

"I can't sleep," I told her.

"Why?" She came behind me and kissed my shoulder.

"I don't want to miss a thing." I smiled down at Tobias.

"I know," She chuckled. "Every little moment is precious."

"You sound exhausted, go back to bed." I kissed her. "I'll be downstairs."

"Okay."

I went downstairs, flicked on the lights, and decided to make myself a pot of coffee. No one manufactured coffee like Wakanda, and it could keep you up for days. While I waited, I sat on the couch and watched the news, catching up on what was happening in the real world. I tried not to care about anything going on anywhere else. Nothing mattered but this little island, Natasha, and my little ones.

If you had told me that this would be my life four years ago, I would have completely ignored you. Back then, this kind of existence made no sense to me. Now, the regularity of island life had become my sanctuary. The simplicity, the easiness, the freedom; it was exactly what I needed.

The coffee pot dinged softly, indicating that my morning pick-me-up was ready. The sun wouldn't be up for another four hours, so I couldn't go for a run as I wanted. I settled for sitting on the couch and barely watching the TV.

I heard the light movement of feet upstairs, and a couple of minutes later, Natasha came down wiping her eyes.

"If we're going to stay up, I need more than coffee." She plopped down next to me and took my cup from me.

"You can go back to bed."

"Not now. I'm already up."

Natasha didn't like it when I wasn't in bed with her. By now, we had gotten our 'late-night-no-sleep-dates' down to a science. We had them probably about once a week.

"So… I'll get the chessboard?" she asked, almost hopefully.

"And I'll get more coffee." I got up from the couch and went into the kitchen to retrieve bigger cups.

By the time I had come back, Natasha was on the floor in front of the coffee table, setting up the massive chessboard.

"We are such nerds," Natasha said with a laugh, "but I love this game so much."

"No cheating this time, Nat." I sat across from her, stretching my legs out.

"Excuse me, but I don't cheat."

"You're right; you're just a sore loser."

In over a year of doing this, Natasha had never once won a game of chess. Sometimes, I would think about letting her scoot by with a victory, but she acquired this proclivity of taking advantage of my kindness.

"I'm not a sore loser," Natasha argued.

"If you say so." I shrugged, superiorly sipping my coffee.

She squinted at me, and the game began.

"How are you feeling, you didn't say anything when we got back yesterday."

Natasha just shrugged, shuffling her piece forward, "I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to feel exactly."

"Whatever you want to feel," I looked up for a second. "It's a lot to take in, Nat. Knowing that our little girl could be alive is a lot to take in."

"If our little girl is alive, that means Ravira stole her from us." Her brow furrowed in anger as she waited for me to make my move.

"And if Annabelle is alive?" I breathed, afraid of her answer.

She looked up and eyed me sternly, "I will make sure she suffers greatly before I kill her, and that's a promise."

Before I could reach my hand to my piece, the lights shut off completely. The air conditioner also powered down simultaneously, and an eerie silence fell over the room.

"What's happened?" Natasha whispered.

"I don't know," I said quietly. I was instantly on alert, listening, and squinting in the dark for any abnormality.

Okoye suddenly crept into the room, wielding a rather large spear in her grip.

"Okoye', what are you doing here so early?" I asked, my voice low and grainy.

"Do you two not hear that?" She turned towards us. "We have company."

"What's going on?"

"My spies said they saw people on their way here and they didn't look friendly. Just listen." She crawled on the floor towards the glass, sliding door and pulled the curtains closed.

I tuned everything out and honed my hearing. It only took a second for me to hear it, and when I did, I jumped up from the floor.

"Steve, what is it?" Natasha asked.

"Boats," I answered shortly.

"Wave runners," Okoye said. "Two dozen, I think. I couldn't get a good look at them, but I brought some help. The Dora Milaje' will help." She peeked out of the curtain.

"What the hell do they want? How did they find us?" Natasha questioned. I was asking myself the same thing.

"And they have guns, so… there's that." Okoye' sighed. "Americans."

"Natasha, I need you to go upstairs," I said as I walked to the back room to grab Mjolnir out of the wardrobe. I was surprised I still had the thing.

"I'm not going anywhere, don't treat me like some weak whore Rogers."

"I don't have time to argue with you." I sighed. "Please listen to me. Go upstairs with the babies and lock the door. I have a key, so if someone knocks, it's not me. We need to sort this out and-"

"I'm not leaving you two down here," she interrupted me.

"I will carry you up there if I have to." I had to stop myself from yelling, "Please… just listen to me."

Natasha thought for a second, her feelings evident on her face before she nodded. "What do they want?"

"I don't know, Natasha, but I promise that I'm going to find out and we're going to get them off of our island."

"This is happening fast," she exhaled.

I nodded. "I'm going to handle this."

"They're coming," Okoye whispered.

"How many are there?" I asked her.

"Two dozen and they all have some impressive firepower."

"Go upstairs," I told Natasha. "I'll be up there when this is finished. No matter what you hear going on down here, don't come out of our room."

"You come back to me, Rogers," She hugged me tightly around my neck. "I want them off of our island."

"They will be," I vowed. I pushed her up the stairs and didn't move until I heard the lock on our bedroom door.

"How do you want to do this?" Okoye asked me.

"I need one of them alive. Whatever you do with the rest is up to you," I instructed. "I want to know who they are, why they're here, what they want, and how they found us."

"Understood," Okoye saluted. "Are we waiting for them?"

I looked around the spacious first floor of the house. Fortunately, we had enough room to maneuver. My mind went into overdrive: making game plans, finding exits, trying to deduce the best strategies, seeing if any valuables needed to be put up. I had a feeling that this wasn't going to be a friendly visit.

"Wait for them," I said mostly to myself.

I flipped the kitchen table over. I went into the family room and did the same to the couch, the coffee table, spilling the chess game, and coffee onto the floor. Okoye' helped me push the bookcase into the middle of the room—anything for coverage.

There were twenty-four of them and two of us. They had the advantage because they were prepared. There wasn't any way we were going to stop them from coming in, so why try? I didn't want to stop them, anyway. They were going to get one hell of a surprise.

I sent Okoye into the kitchen, while I crouched on the floor to wait for whoever was trying to attack my home. I could feel my heart beating with the rapid anticipation that I usually got when a fight was about to begin. I guess my time off had come to a sudden halt.

"This had to be the night that I forget to set the alarm system," I berated myself. I never forgot to set the alarm. There was a buoy a mile out, bobbing in the ocean that was made especially for situations like this. It should have alerted me to any boat that came near this island.

I stopped my thoughts to listen and heard footsteps in the sand. There were twenty-four sets, just like Okoye said. My inhuman senses could pick up the heaviness of each man and the sound of their guns clicking together. I didn't know who they were or what kind of breed these men came from, but I could tell they wouldn't go down quickly.

The locks on the door began to jiggle, and I crossed myself twice, just as it banged open. I stayed in my spot behind the sofa, barely breathing. I wanted to know what they were all about.

"Where are they?" a gruff voice asked.

"I saw movement. They're here." another replied.

"How many are we supposed to take care of?"

"Four. She said there were four, take the babies alive."

"Why are we even here?"

"Because the pay is good. Stop complaining and find them."

Okoye' was the first one to attack, and the sound of hasty bullets suddenly erupted around me, followed the screams of the Dora Milaje.' I kept my head low in the general direction, where I heard the most commotion. I realized that my house was probably going to be destroyed.

There were approaching footsteps of a man, and I judged his distance from my hiding place. When he was close enough, I stood up and prepared to attack. He was in full military gear, complete with a helmet, bulletproof vest, and a thick jacket to cover his body.

That left two main targets for maximum penetration: the face and the groin. I didn't even give him a chance to prepare himself before I used everything the mighty hammer had. His body jerked violently as his body crumpled under pressure.

I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and reacted immediately, kicking him square in the chest. He was on the ground, but still wiggling in despair. I brought the hammer down on his legs, and he yelled in pain.

More men came, and they fell by feet.

The family room was quiet, with bodies on the floor around me. The lights were still out, and the walls were littered with bullet holes. The smell of new blood seeped into the carpet, and I could almost feel the spooky ghosts of the fallen in the air.

I felt a pang in my heart when I heard Tobias' cries upstairs.

_Hang in there, Nat._

I trod lightly and quietly, keeping to the shadows. There wasn't any noise, but that only made me feel more alert. I took each step deliberately and listened with waiting ears.

I distinguished Okoye's footsteps from down the hall.

"I took six, and my troops took ten" She sighed, still on edge.

"I took six. That means there's two left." I repositioned my grip on Mjolnir. "Did they go outside?"

Before Okoye answered, there was a loud pop from upstairs, followed by another cry from Tobias.

I immediately ran up the stairs. The first thing I noticed when I rounded the corner into the upstairs hallway was that our bedroom door was busted clean through with a dead body wedged between. The wood looked like it had barely survived a stampede. It was splintered off in all directions, and what little piece that was left, was hanging off the hinges.

I rushed into the room and saw a guy on our bed, clutching his shoulder, his blood staining the sheets red. He wasn't dead but looked not very far from it.

Natasha held a small gun in her hands. There was a stone-cold look on her face, and a deep scratch on her cheek. It was almost as if someone had tried to swipe her with a knife or some animal had clawed at her.

"You fucking bitch," the man groaned, rolling over the bed like he was gasping for air.

I grabbed him by his vest and knocked him unconscious. He yelped in pain and muttered indistinguishably as his eyes rolled closed.

"Jesus Christ, Natasha." Okoye looked around the room, which was disheveled and in complete tatters. Everything was broken or split in two.

"Did he do that?" I cupped her cheek, which was starting to bleed. The gash wasn't deep, but it looked painful. "What did he do to you?" I asked, my voice strained from the anger that was coursing through my veins.

She nodded and threw the gun she was holding. "I'm fine."

"Are you okay? What did he do?"

"Nothing. He just caught me off guard." Natasha sighed, pulling up the ripped portion of her shirt that was falling. She opened the door to the back bedroom and lifted Tobias out of his crib to calm him down. "Son of a bitch scared my son."

I noticed holes in the walls that could only be made by bullets.

"Did he shoot at you?" I whispered angrily.

"He tried. I shot him first before I killed his friend, though." She shrugged, kissing Tobias on the head. Caroline looked like the perfect definition of calm.

She was going to be a fighter.

"You sure did a number on him." Okoye' tried to roll the guy over. He was breathing harshly, and judging by the amount of blood loss on the bed, he didn't have much longer to live. "One shot through the shoulder and one in the stomach. Poor bastard."

She smiled wryly and slumped more in-depth into the chair with Tobias.

I knelt in front of her, placing my hand on hers and Tobias. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine." She nodded, trying to be strong. "What happened downstairs? Did you get hit or something?"

"No, I'm alright."

Natasha gave me Tobias before she got up from the chair and lightly climbed over the rubbish in our room. She went into the bathroom and came back with a washcloth and a Band-Aid.

"What the hell is going on, Steve?" she asked and wiped the wet cloth over her face. "I don't like this."

"I don't know, Natasha. Are you sure you're okay?" I asked as I put Tobias back in his tiny crib.

"If you ask me that one more time, I'll shoot you." She scowled. "I'm fine."

Natasha's face and actions were saying something different from her words. She was almost shaking. Her feet brought her towards me, and I wrapped my arms around her when she rested her head on my chest.

"Were you scared?" I asked.

"I was, for my son and my little girl."

"Natasha, it's okay."

She nodded. "I know."

"Good."

"If we want any info out of him, we might need to work fast. He's slipping," Okoye' said.

"Alright, let's get him outside." I kissed the top of her head and made sure that she could stand up straight on her own. I then went to help Okoye lift the guy.

Natasha moved stuff out of the way as Okoye,' and I dragged him off of the bed. His blood created a trail behind us as we pulled him through the house, and I had to kick bodies out of the way as I stumbled out of the door.

"This is insane." Okoye' strained as she lifted the guy higher by the arms. "What kind of sick bastards would want to kill babies?"

"I don't know," Natasha said, following behind us. "But we're going to find out."

I dropped the body behind the house. The sun was about to come up, and the morning birds were starting to chirp happily.

I turned quickly when I heard footsteps to the side of me.

T'Challa and Shuri were walking hastily to us, concern and fear on their faces, "I came as soon as I could, are you two alright?"

"We're fine," Natasha said coldly, looking at the man with a newfound hatred.

The Dora Milaje' brought back a rickety old chair and a thick rope that we usually tied the boats up in.

He would mumble something incoherent every couple of seconds. Natasha searched through all his pockets, searching for any form of identification. She found a small black book and handed it to me. "See if there's anything useful in there."

"What are you going to do to him?" I asked and flipped through the pages.

"Kill him, eventually," She answered truthfully, which frightened me a little.

"Who is this guy?" His blood was coating her hands, but Natasha kept digger deeper, trying to find more information.

"I don't know. His uniform isn't anything I recognize." T'Challa was trying to stay as calm as possible, to appear like he had this situation under control. In reality, this wasn't looking good at all.

"Let's kill him now," Natasha exhaled.

"Is he dead yet?" I crossed my arms.

"No, he's still alive." She tapped the man on the head. "Wake up!"

He grunted and gurgled something that I couldn't understand, so Natasha tapped him again. This time his eyes shot open, and his face twisted in pain.

"Who are you? Why are you here?" Natasha asked. She was beyond angry and had almost no patience to deal with this man, so if he didn't answer her questions, he was going to die quicker than he already was.

He gasped and coughed. "Where are my men?"

"Who are you?" Natasha asked again.

"I… I don't know."

"Yes, you do." Natasha slapped the shit out of him, "Don't you lie to me." She hit him harder this time.

Ben screeched to the high heavens, screaming for any help that was out there. Natasha shuddered in annoyance as I cringed a little. I let the man scream.

"No one's going to hear you," T'Challa approached after he was finally out of breath. "I am your king, and you will obey my command."

"Who are you?" He choked and turned his head away. He tried to get loose from his bindings, struggling to break free.

"We're not going to ask you again." Natasha tried to calm herself down. "Tell me who you are and why you're here."

The man still didn't say anything. He was dying anyway, so maybe he didn't care.

Natasha whipped out her gun and shot him in the knee, causing him to roar in pain.

"If you tell me what you're doing here, I might just spare you."

"I get paid to kill," he said through his clenched teeth.

"An assassin?" Okoye' asked from behind me.

"No, he's a mercenary," She replied. Natasha could spot a hired killer from a mile away. This man was trained militarily. "Who do you work for?" She questioned.

"A company based in Texas." He was shaking and sweating profusely. "We get paid to kill, but we don't know why or who. We don't ask questions."

"Who paid you?" She gripped his chin tightly.

"My boss, but I don't know who put the hit out on you. I get a call and get on the plane."

"You do know, and you will tell me," Natasha said through gritted teeth, holding the gun to his temple.

"Nat..."

"What's it going to be?"

And then he started talking. He said that he was paid by his old friend who needed a favor. Emerald Ravira.

"And how did you find us?" I asked.

"They gave us the location. She said something about protecting what was hers," he garbled.

"Annabelle..." Natasha whispered, her handshaking. "So, it's true. Annabelle is alive."

Natasha closed her eyes and locked her genuine emotions down deep. I knew what she was feeling, exactly what she was feeling. She knew that if she let loose now, she would not be able to rein herself in.

"Is that everything?" She moved the gun against his head for emphasis.

"Yes, I've told you everything." He said, his breathing slowing down.

"Nat, he told us everything."

"Alright." She whispered, moving back slightly.

"So... you're gonna let me go?"

Natasha whipped her head and cocked the gun back, "Not on your fucking life."

Before I could react, Nat shoots the gun, putting a bullet through his forehead. His neck jerked back violently from the force of the led that was ripping through his brain and came out on the other end.

We all looked at Natasha in shock and awe. He was dead, and his head limped forward as his body stilled. He was covered in grime, dirt, sweat, and sticky blood.

"You...you killed him," Shuri breathed.

Natasha shot a glare at her, "Does it look like I give a shit, Shuri? This son of a bitch comes here with two dozen men to kill my husband and me before they kidnap my newborn babies and you're worried about _him_?"

"No, I was just..."

"Whatever, it's done now," She threw the gun at the foot of the dead man. "We need to leave. If they can find us then so can anyone else."

"Where are we going to go?" I managed to get out.

"I'm not sure. Give me a couple of hours to think about it." Natasha started walking back to the house as the sun came up over the ocean. T'Challa and Okoye' went inside went in with the guards to begin cleaning out the house.

Natasha sat on one of the stools that hadn't been demolished, listening to her phone ring.

Her phone stopped for a second but started ringing again without a break.

"Let me talk. Don't say a word," She told me.

She took a deep breath and pressed the speakerphone button.

"Hello?" Natasha asked, not letting herself falter.

"Natasha? Thank God." Tony's voice was relieved and anxious at the same time, causing my heart to stop.

"Tony?" Natasha furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah… What…" Natasha showed rare signs of speechlessness.

"Are the twins there? Are they alright?"

"They're fine; they're upstairs asleep." She sighed. "Why are you calling?"

"T'Challa told me you were in trouble, I was two seconds away from getting on a plane, but he insisted everything was under control. Was anyone hurt?"

"No, we're all okay thankfully. "

Natasha pulled at her hair in frustration. I ran my hand ran over her back to comfort her, but it did little this time.

"We're leaving soon, possibly tonight," Natasha said, looking at me solemnly.

"I'm already making arrangements. The plane will pick you up tomorrow morning."

"Meaning?"

"Natalie, it's time to come home, back to New York."

"I'll see you soon," Nat said solemnly and hung up the phone.

I knew he was going to say that. I knew it.

"Nat?"

Her eyes met mine, and there was viciousness in them, something I had never seen in them before. I placed a reluctant hand on her cheek, brushing my thumb against the band-aid.

She places her hand over mines before she removes it from her cheek, "We're going home, and then we're coming back for my daughter." She said cryptically before she melded her lips to mine softly, tenderly; eagerly. I had no choice but to comply. She quickly pulls away before she goes upstairs to the twins.

"Is she alright?" T'Challa asked from beside me.

"No, I don't think so."


	19. PART II|IV.

_Steve's POV_  
_"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." — Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy_

* * *

"Everyone else will be here shortly. I texted them that I had a surprise for everyone." Natasha spoke quietly.

"Do they suspect anything?" I asked.

"No, thank God. I don't know how I've kept this up for so long. I take it you've seen them already?"

I shook my head.

She looked out of the window. "They're here."

I stood up straighter, preparing myself for the bombardment of awkwardness that was sure to come.

"Do you have a speech prepared or something?" Natasha asked me.

"No, I figured I would just let them talk first. Maybe they'll think I'm some magic trick."

"Well, unlike you, I'm alive and have to think of something to say. I don't know how they'll react."

I almost stopped breathing when I heard footsteps in the hallway a couple of minutes later. Natasha and I looked at each other with anxious eyes. She shuffled up next to me.

_This is it._

"I hope Nat is okay," Carol said. "She must be terrified after what happened."

"Let's hope," Tony said, before knocking on the door.

Nat gave me a look and said, "Come inside."

The door opened, and the world slowed down to a snail's pace. The first eyes I saw were Wanda's. Everyone else's followed. They stopped moving when they realized that two people were standing in front of them… and one was supposed to be dead.

There was a mixture of fear and confusion in all their faces. They all looked the same; iridescently pale, beautiful in their way with firm faces and distinguished stances.

I let out a deep breath at the sight of my friends. We were finally all in the same room, and I felt stronger just being in their presence. It was no secret that we all worked better as a single unit. Being without them was weakening. I felt like I had my strength back somehow.

No one moved. All their mouths were opened, and I almost saw the blood drain from their skin.

"Natasha, what's going on?" Thor asked, his voice low and strangled.

"So…We need to talk," she said.

"Is there a ghost in this house?" Tony's mouth hung open. "I think there is because you're supposed to be dead!" He pointed at me.

"Well… I'm not." I shrugged.

"No, shit." Thor stepped forward. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came home with Nat."

"You came home with Nat?" Tony mocked me. "Is that all you have to say after two fucking years in the grave?"

"What did you expect me to say?" I was already getting too defensive. I wanted to try and keep the peace, but…well, I've never been good at backing down when someone shouts at me. It's a curse.

"Okay, let's calm down." Natasha stood in between us.

"What's going on?" Wanda blinked rapidly, trying to catch her breath. "I think I see him, but that can't be him…"

"Oh, it's him," Tony scoffed. "That fucker faked his death."

"Natasha, did you know about this?" Carol asked her.

She nodded. "We've been hiding away this entire time."

"I don't understand," Wanda stated.

"We were hiding," I repeated. "I didn't die in the explosion, and so when Nat found me, we decided to live our lives with our children."

There was a lot of talking all at once. It was more like shouting. Everyone had something to say, except Carol and Natasha. They just stood there, looking at each other while the commotion exploded around them.

The main person who was trying to yell at me was Tony. I didn't understand what he was saying through the cigar in his mouth, but it was evident from his red face, he was not pleased. Thor and Bucky were trying to get answers out of me, which I didn't have. Wanda and Sam were trying to keep everyone calm. It wasn't working.

Tony pointed at me. "You could have called, wrote, something. I couldn't eat for months after…" He let out a deep breath.

"I could have, but I didn't. And I'm sorry."

"Steve, your excuses are shit." Bucky suddenly shoved me…hard.

Before I could react, Natasha put her hands on my chest, and the touch immediately worked wonders, cooling my fiery anger, "Not here. Now's not the time."

"Nat..."

"Everyone needs to talk first. Please calm down." She softly placed her lips at the base of my neck.

I nodded before eying Bucky, "Just this once, Buck."

No one spoke, but we glared at each other with mortal eyes. Tony and Bucky, especially, were starting holes into my shirt.

"I did what was best for myself and my family," I said without a hint of regret. "I decided to live my life the moment I jumped out of that damn jet."

"You don't get it, do you?" Tony squinted. " _We_  were a family. You shattered us."

There was more silence. I didn't have anything to say to them at the moment.

"And what do you have to say for yourself?" Carol asked Natasha rudely.

Natasha calmly glowered at Carol with intense eyes "Don't start with me. Just don't. You don't know what I had to go through, what we've suffered."

"I was your friend, Natasha. You should have told me where you were or what was going on."

"Do you want to know what's been going on? I just had twenty bastards try to kill my husband and me in our own home. I nearly died trying to stop a fucking bullet from ever touching my babies!" Natasha's voice was hard, with pent-up anger that was bubbling towards the surface.

They all bowed their heads in shame.

"And you think that wasn't hard enough?" she said crossly. "I just learned that my baby girl, my beautiful daughter, was stripped away from my arms and stolen from me. My little girl has been alive all this time, and I've missed everything! And that's something that none of you will ever understand."

They didn't have anything to say.

"Get the fuck over it, I did."

"Natasha…" Carol began.

"Shut up!" She shouted.

It was now my turn to calm her, and I softly ran my hands up and down her back.

"We thought he died," Thor said softly, still not looking at Natasha. "We thought we lost him."

"You have no idea what _I_  lost. I needed a family after…" Natasha bit her lip, willing herself not to go further, but I could tell what she wanted to say. "We all hurt, but we need each other now. Things aren't going as well as they should be. But I need you guys right now. We don't need to be fighting right now."

The first one to take a real breath was Wanda as her eyes shifted to Natasha. She took off and made it across the room in a second, grabbing Natasha's body and pulling it towards her.

"I've missed you," She exhaled.

"I know." Natasha embraced her back. They held onto each other tightly for a couple of seconds. "I've missed you too."

"You just left. We never even got to say goodbye." Wanda pulled back, wiping her face.

Natasha nodded. "I had to leave. It was too painful to stick around."

"Are you guys back for good? Why are you here?" I asked.

"I'll explain later." Natasha shrugged.

Wanda looked at me over Natasha's shoulder. "It's nice to see you."

"You too, Maximoff." I nodded.

"Can I hug you?" She asked.

I chuckled, "Yes."

She ran towards me, and her arms were like vice grips on my body as she squeezed the life out of me. It was almost painful. I hugged her back.

"God, I can't believe you're real..."

"I know."

The anger from everyone started to dissolve, and after Wanda let me go, I was suddenly in the arms of my other friend.

"You sick son of a bitch." Thor lifted me off the ground. "I always knew you weren't dead."

"Oh?" I rasped out.

"Yeah," Thor set me down, "you wouldn't go down like that. Plus, when I called for Mjolnir poor girl didn't want to come back. Figured you somehow had something to do with it."

"Guilty," I admitted.

He clapped my shoulder. "It's good to have you back."

Tony took his place and eyed me suspiciously. "Is it you?"

"It is."

"I'm not so easy to convince as Thor is. You don't have my forgiveness just yet." He shook my hand like this was a business proposition.

"I wasn't looking for your forgiveness," I said.

"I know." He shrugged. "Give me some time to think about this. It's been so long without you, and I forgot what it was like to have you around."

"I know what you mean."

"We're just shocked." Carol surprisingly embraced me without an acidic tone. "How did you expect us to react?"

I didn't have an answer for her.

"I'm glad you're back. It's been hell without you."

Sam gave a small smile and a nod, "Good to have you back, Cap."

"Good to be back."

Pepper smiled. "We're all back together. Back from the dead, and back from… Well, wherever the hell Natasha was."

"How about we sit down and talk?" She suggested, pointing to the chairs around the room.

It took about an hour for her to explain in detail what had happened when Natasha saw Annabelle.

She told them everything; the day we lost our daughter, seeing Annabelle, the attempted assassination.

"They stormed the island, and we were unprepared." I shrugged. "God, I can only imagine if..." I didn't dare finish.

"Well, shit," Tony leaned back in his seat, "this is serious."

"They were going to kill us. They were going to kill us and steal my babies." Natasha said through gritted teeth. "My family is never going to be safe. I'm working on getting my hands on that bitch and getting my daughter back."

"They're based out of a company in Texas," I repeated the information that we got from the bastard before Natasha killed him.

"We can defend ourselves," Natasha grunted.

"But only together. We're not too successful separated," I disclosed. "And I think you know that or we wouldn't be here."

She didn't respond.

"Well, you know we can help Cap," Sam said. "Whatever you guys need."

I was about to say something, but it was immediately forgotten when we heard the cries of a baby.

"Tobias," Natasha and I said at the same time.

"I'll get him," Nat sighed, getting off the couch to check on him.

"So," Sam began, taking a deep breath. "You and Romanoff, huh?"

"It's Rogers now."

"Of course it is," Sam snorted. "I should've known you two were gonna hook up when you shared that latte' in Scotland."

I couldn't help but laugh at the fond memory, "We've come a long way from those times."

"So you have."

I smiled lightly at the doorway as I watched Natasha rocked Tobias in her arms, whispering sweet nothings to him. My smile instantly faded when I remembered her murdering the guy back in Wakanda, the coldness in her eyes, how heartless she acted when she found out about Annabelle. Natasha was different; I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"I missed you guys a lot. Even when Tony was a dick, he was a good friend." Sam sighed.

"We missed you too," I patted his shoulder "It's been too long."

"Far too long." He looked me up and down. "You look good. Family life agrees with you, old man."

"Thank you." I stared down at myself. "It's been a crazy ride."

"Tell me about your wedding."

"It was beautiful. Hands down the greatest day of my life." I smiled, fondly at my wedding band.

"Wow," Sam commented. "You two look so happy."

"We are."

"Things must be tough with the learning your daughter's alive thing?"

I shuddered. "Nat's not taking it too well."

Sam nodded in understanding.

"And what about you? How are you taking it?"

I thought about my words carefully, "I'm taking it one step at a time. Losing Annabelle was one of the worst things that happened to us, you know? And now, to find out she's been alive all this time..."

"It's overwhelming."

"I'm mostly worried about Nat, Sam."

"Why?" He pressed.

"Sam, when she murdered that man on that island, there was this...coldness inside of her that I've never seen in her. It was like... it was easy."

"Do you think she's back on that path again?"

"I hope not, Sam. I hope not."

* * *

I came out of the bathroom and saw Natasha looking out the window.

Her eyes reached mine, and it was like I was seeing Natasha for the first time in what felt like years. My heart ached for her, and I realized that I haven't been checking on her to see how she was handling all of this.

Natasha and I stood in front of each other, not speaking, not moving.

"Are you alright?" I asked quietly.

"That's an interesting question to ask," She chuckled darkly.

"You haven't been sleeping." I took a chance and reached my hand out to trace the bruises under her eyes. Just the feel of her skin was enough to make me crumble. I wanted to hug her, kiss her, feel her, anything.

"I don't know how you can sleep when some bitch has our daughter." She looked at me, blankly.

"I know this is taking a toll out of you, Nat." I ran my hand along the nape of her neck.

"You have no idea..."

"I know," I whispered. "It's been a weird month for both of us, but I need you to reach out to me."

We both said nothing as we stared at each other in silence.

She was already in sleeping clothes. Short shorts and a tank top, making her look incredibly sensual. It was getting hard for me to stand there in my boxers without her noticing my obvious enjoyment of the sight. Her hair was down her shoulders, cascading over her breast.

"I'm going out for a walk." She stood on her toes to kiss my cheek and then looked at me for a couple of seconds before leaving the house.

I stayed awake and like many nights over this past week, inspected the ceiling for cracks as I stayed up, thinking.

Why, why did all of this have to happen now? Everything was going so well until that day. I wanted this nightmare to end, I wanted my daughter back, and I needed my Natasha again.

There was a soft knock at the door, pulling my brain back. The twins were with Pepper and Tony, so I wasn't worried about how loud the knock was. It wasn't until Natasha poked her head in that I realized it was her. I sat up quickly and tried to cover myself up better with the covers.

"Uh...hey Nat," I said lamely.

She came in fully, and I noticed that she was stripping out of her clothing on her way to me.

"Nat?"

Without saying a word, she got into my lap, straddling my legs and I couldn't fight her as she moved her lips to mine, molding our naked bodies together. I pushed her back tentatively and just looked at her.

I raised a hand slowly, reaching forward tentatively to touch her face.

"Natasha?" I said quietly… confused... uncertain… then almost… hopeful, "I don't think we're ready for this yet."

"Stop talking; you'll ruin the moment."

"Talk to me..."

"Shut up."

She leaned forward, and I felt her breath wash over my face as my own stopped entirely. My whole body shut down… my heart, lungs… even my thoughts froze at that moment as I waited for Natasha's lips to touch mine again. My self-control was gone.

Her soft lips descended on mine again, my body kick-started in a hot-blooded frenzy, and I was more than gone.

Her kiss was hesitant at first, a mere brush of warm lips, but when I moaned in response, my fingers went into her hair, locking her into me. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me toward her as we deepened the kiss, then sucked lightly.

Her teeth grated against my bottom lip, then my tongue, and I opened to welcome her, my hands trailing up her thighs. Thankfully, we were in nothing more than a thin fabric. I ripped her sheet from her body, exposing her skin in its entirety. I cursed under my breath.

I glanced up at her briefly before leaning forward to plant my hot mouth over my newly bare breast. She clutched at my head, her breath coming in loud gasps as I sucked her hardened nipple.

"Jesus," She whispered, her head rolling back.

My whole body reacted to the touch of her against me, and I secretly moved my sheet from my lap so that we were skin against skin. She gasped lightly as my firm erection nestled between her legs.

"I need you now." She pulled at my hair.

"Not yet. It's been too long."

I smirked and bent down to trail my tongue along her neck, planting wet, nibbling kisses from her shoulder, up to her ear, then back again.

"God. You're killing me," She groaned.

I flipped us over so that I was hovering above her body and she was flat on her back, staring up at me with erotic eyes.

I lifted her hands above her head, tightening my hold so that she couldn't get away once I started my torturing. I reached between us and stroked her. I pushed a knee between her legs to force them apart slightly.

I knew Natasha like the back of my hand, and I could tell where this was going. I was driving her up toward the peak over and over again without allowing her to fall over.

The torturing had begun.

I watched her intently as I worked her. She writhed beneath me, and her eyes were half-closed with lust and euphoria.

"Please…" She sobbed. "Steve… I can't…"

It took mere seconds for the tension to tighten like a spring in her core I could feel it. I moved once more inside her, and that sent her over, screams fell from her lips, her back arched, her head almost pushing a hole into the sheets.

It was glorious.

I covered her mouth with mine, swallowing her cries as she rode out her orgasm.

I didn't let her arms go as I pushed my dick into her, not making her come back to reality from her orgasm.

"Jesus," I said through gritted teeth. I pulled out slowly, then pushed back in full and we groaned in unison.

"I don't think," I said as I pulled out again, "that I can go slow." I thrust a little harder, and my eyes rolled back in my head.

"I don't need slow, Steve. I need you. Now."

With a loud groan, I lifted one of her legs onto my waist, deepening my angle.

"God," She grunted. I could only moan in response as I thrust powerfully and roughly into her again and again… each pound was taking us higher and higher.

"I'm going to…" I muttered, my eyes clenched tight as sweat was glistening on my forehead. "Jesus, I'm gonna…" I couldn't even finish my sentence as I fell over the mountain top. We both let the coil go in our bodies, almost bringing the walls down with our shouts.

It was one of those quick fucks that we both needed, and I tried to show her how much she meant to me.

We stayed as we were for a long minute as our breathing returned to normal. Finally, I rolled off of her, panting and wiping sweat from my brow.

Suddenly, everything seemed to change. The tension that was gone during our lovemaking session was back in full force, knocking me on my ass.

Natasha sighed and turned away from me, "That was fun." She said, void of the emotions that I seemed to be filled with, "I needed that."

"Fun?" I asked, confused as her back faced me.

"Yeah, fun." Natasha later fell asleep without another word.

My jaw dropped, my heart rate sped up, my fists clenched.

She just played me like a fiddle, threw me in the garbage like a two-dollar whore, used me for nothing more than a release.

I felt used. I felt worn, I felt...pathetic. Natasha just gave an Oscar-worthy performance to put an actress to shame, and I was so confused.

What happened to my wife? Where did she go?

She just made it clear that the Natasha I once knew, was gone.


	20. PART II|V

_Natasha's POV_  
_"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. That word is love." — Sophocles_

* * *

I reached over to Steve's side of the bed and ran my hand over his bareback. He was turned away from me and his breathing was steady so that I knew he had been sleeping for a couple of hours.

It was cold over here by myself, but I couldn't blame him for being so far away. If I was him, I wouldn't be so buddy-buddy with me right now, either.

I was the world's coldest bitch and I knew that. How could I not know that?

I had just taken advantage of Steve in the most disgusting way possible. Who was the abuser? Her name was Natasha Rogers and she was sickening.

I didn't know how this was going to turn out but I guessed that after the little stunt I pulled, Steve would probably never forgive me.

I just needed him to feel...something.

I know that sounds sadistic, masochistic, whatever you wanted to call it but I was just feeling alone. Even in the dark, I saw the hardening of his blue eyes when I turned my back on him and I knew that he was broken inside for what I did to him.

Natasha the Cold-Hearted bitch was not a person who I wanted to turn back into. She was cold, crass, evil, mean, vindictive, hurtful and I couldn't stand her. What kind of a woman was I? All of these resurfacing emotions of Annabelle were fucking with my every move.

Don't tell me that I was immature or childish or selfish or unsympathetic because I knew all of that. I was so messed up right now that I needed a serious therapy session.

That was the main problem I was facing. I was doing what I did to him all of those years ago, shutting him out and pushing him away from what I truly felt. I had to trample on his warm advances with my cold heart and I think I might have taken things too far. I was going to have to own up to what I did and just take whatever punishment Steve dealt out.

I continued to rub Steve's back as he slept, not moving closer until I was certain that he was asleep.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

There, that counted.

I scooted closer behind him so that our bodies were flush together and put my arm over his waist. That was the only way I could sleep nowadays. Like I had theorized, I was out like a light only five minutes later.

"Get up." Steve's vicious voice said from the bedroom door. I sat up in bed and his eyes glowed in the darkness. He was pulling on his sweats over his naked body.

"What are you talking about?"

He seemed to have an angry vigor about him. I did leave him naked, used, disregarded and I knew he wasn't going to take that lying down. I didn't expect him to. If he wanted this to work then we both had to put in the fighting time.

"I want to show you something. Get up." Steve commanded and ripped the sheets from the bed, "Be outside in five minutes." He left the room, slamming the door on the way out.

I staggered around the room looking for something warm to put on. I didn't know where we were going but I just hoped he didn't throw me off of a mountain or something.

I put on some sweats and a hoodie and slowly opened the balcony door. Steve was standing against the opposite railing with a hard look.

I pushed open the balcony door, walking into the crisp, cold winter morning. It was pitch black but the stars and lights from the city below lit up the roof of the apartment so that we weren't sitting in complete darkness. There was snow everywhere but no flakes were falling from the sky for which I was thankful.

I missed the warm weather of Wakanda.

There was a small, round table with two chairs and thermoses of what I guessed were coffee or hot chocolate. There were blankets on the chairs and under any other circumstances, this setting would have been incredibly romantic but I doubt that Steve was bringing me out here to woo me. Not after all I did.

"Sit." He plopped down in a chair and then pointed to the one across the table from him.

"What are we doing up here?"

"We're watching the sunrise." He picked up a thermos, "Coffee?"

"Sure."

I noticed that even when he was pissed at me, he was polite and gentle.

"Is this supposed to be a metaphor for something? The rising of the sun?" I said.

"Maybe we should have come at sunset." He sighed and leaned back in his chair, eyes on the horizon while mine were focused on him.

"I have thought for a long time about what you just did but I've concluded." He spoke gravely.

"And what's that?" I whispered.

"You just don't have any type of trust in me."

He leaned against the railing with his arms crossed and he didn't even want to look at me so I kept my head down.

We stood silent for a long minute while the air grew heavy with hate that was rolling off of his body.

"You used me. I'm your husband and you fucking used me." He pinched his nose, "I'm not doing this all over again, Nat, where you shut me out and just walk over me."

"Steve..."

"I want the old Natasha back before all of this Annabelle shit happened. There's a difference in being hurt and being a cold bitch." All the fluff was gone from his voice, replaced by shame.

"I'm ruining us aren't I?"

"Yes, you are," Steve said simply.

"Steve, I'm..."

"Don't say you're sorry just to save your ass."

"We can get past this. I know we can."

"I'm not doing this again, Nat. I told you that."

"Well maybe if you showed some sympathy over our kidnapped daughter..."

"Natasha, just stop it. You always play the victim and I'm tired of it."

"The victim?" I was getting mad now.

"Yes, do you think I'm not hurt about what happened to our little girl? You keep forgetting that she's my daughter too and I was just as devastated as you were when she was gone. And you call yourself an adult for that stunt you pulled?" He looked at me ashamedly, "You could have just talked to me about it, Nat."

"Steve..."

"It's not just us anymore!" Steve snarled. "We have other children to think about and what you're doing isn't healthy."

"You're willing to just throw everything out of the window?" I was close to tears.

"No," He said quickly, "But I just can't keep doing this." He ran his hands through his hair.

I hated how quickly the tables had turned and I knew I was being pathetic.

"I don't want to keep fighting with you because of something stupid."

"I'm sorry Steve. I never meant to hurt you this way."

"And yet you do it anyway." He sighed.

"You're putting me through hell right now. I don't want to lose you, I don't want to lose what we have." I knew exactly what he was talking about and at this point, I was pathetically trying to keep whatever slice of a relationship I had from crumbling

"I love you so much, my heart hurts just thinking about being away from you but I can't keep trying to help you if you won't let me in."

"I'm lost!" I yelled. "Don't you see that I'm screaming on the inside for help! How do you expect me to react Steve when our little girl was stolen from my arms and placed a dead baby in my arms instead? I'm not using this as an excuse but it infuriates the hell out of me when you're upset with me when you're not understanding what I'm going through, what I'm feeling."

He couldn't even look at me, "Tell me, if you were to see Ravira right now, would you kill her?"

"You know that I would."

"Why?"

"Wouldn't you?"

"It would be too easy, Nat. Too quick."

"Then I'll make it slow."

"And then you'll be in prison, leaving daughters and our son without a mother. Did you ever think about that, Nat?"

I didn't answer him.

"I guess not."

Suddenly, the once dark sky was filled with brilliant oranges, reds, and pinks that lit everything up as the sun peaked over the mountains in the distance. The metaphors from our surroundings were so abundant, it was almost funny.

I could go off about how the white snow represented purity, the rising sun represented a new life, the clean air, the stars, the moon, everything meant something in my eyes. The painted sky was haunting as the sun crept up over the horizon.

It felt like my whole world was being turned upside down and I didn't know if I should grovel, keep apologizing or what but I knew none of that would work on Steve. I was truly sorry for hurting him and looking back, I saw the error in my ways but it might be a little too late.

"I don't want to lose our family. We've been through so much to stop now." I whispered.

"Natasha, the last time I tried helping you, you left me. And I did nothing but try to love and cherish you through  _our_  pain."

"I know..."

"You don't know how much this is killing me but it's for the best."

"You don't believe that."

"You're right." He chuckled, "I would rather just wipe the slate clean of these past few weeks but we both know that won't solve anything."

"Then what will? I can beg if you want, I don't care."

"I'm not going through this again, Natasha. I won't."

"I'm sorry. That's all I can say." I wiped my face.

"Where did my Natasha go?"

I didn't have an answer for him. I was the same Natasha as normal but the old me was starting to show and I hated it. I needed to pull myself back together because I was going to lose everything if I kept being such a bitch.

"I don't even know if I can trust you anymore..."

"You can trust me. I'm sorry for treating you so badly and I'm sorry for being such a bitch but I'm hurting Steve. I'm hurting so badly that I can't think sometimes. We had to hold off filming one day because I couldn't breathe and Alice had to sit with me until I calmed down. I have nightmares of this exact situation and I don't know what I would do without you." I poured my heart out.

"Well, then you should have reminded yourself of that last night."

"Please," I grabbed his hand and placed it over my heart. "I'm not giving up on us, I can fix this. Not in a day, but I can fix this."

His eyes didn't meet mines but I could tell that he didn't want to leave it like it this either, "How?"

* * *

Steve kept asking me where we were going, but I wouldn't tell him. First, before anything else, I took him to Starbucks because we both needed a pick-me-up. We both got a large black coffee. We walked back to the garage of my building and got into the car.

Steve leaned back as I drove and sipped his coffee. "What are we doing, Nat?"

"Spending time together, now stop asking questions," I took his hand; he didn't pull away as I continued to drive.

He asked again where I was taking us when the buildings of the city began to transform into the land and hills of the country. The sun was out and what little leaves were left on the trees were deep reds or oranges. It was the perfect day for outdoor activities and probably the last one before the dead cold set in.

He tugged on his baseball cap a little tighter and fixed his sunglasses. The world still believed that Steve was dead and he wanted it to stay that way, for a while at least.

The drive took about an hour and when I started to see town signs of New York suburbs, I knew exactly where to go.

I took the exit that I needed off of the highway and drove through the streets of a town called Ashland. It was one of those perfect little suburbs with manicured yards.

"What's all of this?" Steve said as he looked out of the window at the fall leaves and parade set up that was going on around us.

"It's their annual End of Fall Festival," I answered and drove slowly so that I didn't hit someone's kid.

"Have you been here before?"

"No, but Tony tells me Pepper loves it out here. I wanted to see what all the buzz was about."

"It's really beautiful."

It only took us another couple of minutes to get to our destination, and I parked in the packed lot.

Steve got out of the car. "What's this?"

"It's an apple orchard," I replied as we walked towards the entrance. The orchard was massive with hundreds of acres, and it was all geared towards families. Little kids were running around, older teenagers trying to pelt each other with fallen fruit and couples, like Steve and I, who were just trying to have a peaceful day. I never thought I would be one of "those" wives, but I had some groveling to do.

There were tents with old wicker baskets under them and rows upon rows of apple trees.

"You pick a basket and then go through the acres. When you reach the end, you weigh them and see how much you have. You pay by the pound," I explained to him and picked up a basket.

We began walking through the rows of trees, and I kicked apples that had fallen on the ground. There wasn't much talking between us, but it wasn't uncomfortable like it had been earlier. Steve was trying to find the perfect apples, but since it was late in the season, there weren't that many good selections.

"I've never done this before." He looked up towards the trees. "My mom tried to take me to a pumpkin patch once when I was younger, but I didn't like it."

"Why? That sounds like a good fall activity."

"I'm terrified of pumpkins."

I tried to hold back my laughter, but couldn't. "You're scared of pumpkins?" I repeated slowly.

"Sleepy Hallow legend," He smirked. as he reached for an apple and added it to the small pile that was accumulating in our bucket.

"I'm surprised all of these are still up. We did have a couple of days in the freezing rain last week."

"I'm glad you brought me here before it was too late. This is nice." We continued to stroll through the orchard as the sun warmed up, but there was a strong wind in the air so it stayed cool.

"The best apples are in the back. They've had the longest time to grow." Steve guided me through the thick brush.

"I need some big ones. They make the best pies and maybe I can learn how to make jelly or something like that."

"Aren't you the little homemaker?"

"I try." I gazed up at the larger apples that were barely hanging onto the limbs above us. "I want those." I pointed to a cluster near him.

"Okay, give me the bucket."

"Let me pick them?" I asked.

He knelt and pointed to his shoulders. "Climb on."

Steve stood up with me on his shoulders, and I began pulling apples from the trees. I was done after another couple of minutes, and he put me back on the ground with our basket was filled.

"I can't wait for you to taste my pie." I grabbed Steve and kissed him on the lips.

"You're dirty," he replied with his hands on my waist. "And no, I will not be tasting your pie for a while. I'm still mad at you."

"I know," I moved my lips to his neck. "But I'll make it up to you."

"You're off to a good start."

"Oh?" Steve stopped for a second and looked down into the bright blue eyes of a little girl who was about five.

"Mister, can you lift me so I can get an apple too?" she asked in a sweet voice.

Steve moved away slightly bent down to the girl. "Where are your parents?"

The little girl shrugged. "I don't know."

She had short blonde hair and a round face with big eyes that made her look very adorable with her pink dress and white coat. It made me think about if Annabelle looked like that a couple of years ago. All of the time that I missed, wasted.

"What's your name?" Steve asked.

"Natasha," the girl replied. "I want an apple."

_Natasha?_

"We have to find her parents." Steve took the girl's hand.

"Yeah, of course."

After another ten minute walk, we started to hear the faint screaming of a certain mother who was looking for her daughter, Natasha.

"Does that sound like your mom?" Steve asked.

"I guess so." She shrugged.

"Natasha, is that you?" I was suddenly pushed out of the way by a short woman who grabbed the girl up in her arms. "Oh my God, I was so worried. Where did you go?"

"I just wanted some apples, Mommy."

"Thank you so much." A man, whom I guessed was  _Natasha's_  father, holding his hand out for Steve.

"She was fine," I told the mother.

The mother turned around and my jaw dropped a little instantly. It was the woman I saved at that grocery store all those years ago.

Tears fell down her cheek as she hugged me tightly. "Of course it was you! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you."

I couldn't speak so I just awkwardly held her in my arms, "It's...uh... it's good to see you again."

She pulled back and smiled sadly, "I heard about what happened to..." Her eyes met Steve's and before she could respond, I pressed a finger to my lips and she quickly understood.

"Hi, Mr. Steve," she whispered.

He gave her a nod and a small smile, "Hi, but I feel quite bad that I never caught your name that day."

"It's Vanessa, Ness for short."

I bent down and smiled at the young girl, "Natasha, huh?"

Vanessa bent down as well and returned the smile," I named her after the woman who saved our lives."

Natasha hid behind her mother's legs as she looked at me with wide eyes, "You're the lady that saved my mommy?"

"I am," I looked up at Steve and my smile widened. "But I didn't do it alone."

"You didn't?"

"No," I stood up and wrapped my arms around my husband's waist. "If it weren't for him, I probably would have died as well. I owe him everything and more."

"Sounds like you're lucky to have him, ma'am," Natasha said.

I smiled at that and Steve returned the smile, "I am, very lucky."

We continued to talk and catch up for another couple of minutes until Steve all but pulled me away.

"She was an adorable little girl," Steve said as we started walking towards the checkout tent.

"Yes, she was..."

His hands entwined with mine, silently comforting me. We didn't need words, he knew what I was feeling.

After getting a ticket and paying for our apples, we put them in a bag, and I carried them to the car.

"Where are we going now? You said my whole day would be full," Steve asked when I was back on the road.

"Another surprise. Don't worry, I've got the day planned."

I drove for a couple of minutes, and pulled into the parking lot of Francis'.

"Francis' place?" Steve asked and got out of the car.

"I hear he's famous around these parts for his chicken parmigiana. I thought we could have a picnic," I said, more like a question.

"You sure are jumping through hoops today." He raised an eyebrow as he held the door open for me.

"I know," I replied.

We went into the deli and Francis came up to greet me with a very Italian, very enthusiastic kiss on the cheek and tight hug. He then noticed Steve and wrapped his arms around him before going on in a was speaking so fast that I barely caught any of it.

"What's he saying?" I whispered to him.

"He said that the next time I fake my death, he'll bury me himself."

"Isn't he so sweet?"

I pushed him towards the counter and we ordered everything because Steve told me how good it all was.

"Are we eating here?" he asked as we were waiting for our food.

"No, I thought we could have a picnic in a park near here," I suggested.

He smiled brightly. "That sounds nice, really nice."

"I told you I would take care of the day. You were worried."

"I wasn't worried," He wrapped his arms around my stomach as we continued to wait for our food.

We carried the four bags of sandwiches towards the car. I was determined to eat at least two of them.

I drove us to a small park that was on the outskirts of town and secluded away from the festival that was still raging with a carnival and a bunch of smaller activities. The park wasn't anything as massive as what we were used to in the city. It was just a patch of grass with some benches, but it was nice.

I grabbed a blanket out of the trunk and brought it with us so that we could find a spot. Steve chose to sit under a large tree that barely had any leaves on it, but she liked it and leaned against the trunk.

"So, what should I try first?" I clapped my hands together as Steve spread out our massive feast.

"How about... the Caprese salad sandwich?" He picked it up and handed it to me.

"This looks good." I unwrapped the package and took a small bite at the same time.

"The best, even better than Pepper's." Steve chomped on the chicken parmigiana, which he loved so much.

"Don't let her hear you say that."

"She would agree."

"Are you still mad at me?" I asked like a child.

"Yes, but I'm trying to get over it." Steve's shoulders slumped as he took another bite of her sandwich.

We continued to eat in silence for a little while, switching sandwiches. After a while, Steve pulled out a sketchbook and started to read it quietly to himself. I watched his brows furrow in concentration as he took in his surroundings. I must have watched him for half an hour without diverting my eyes.

"Stop looking at me." He breathed a laugh without lifting his head.

"I can't." I lay my head down, turning it so that I could see him. The wind was carrying a strong scent of fall and the grass was the perfect temperature.

I closed my eyes, my stomach full and my mind tired.

I think I fell asleep, but I couldn't be sure. I could feel him lay down next to me at some point, but he didn't stop drawing.

When I opened my eyes again, the sketchbook was resting on Steve's chest, and he was sleeping peacefully, without a care in the world.

A small smile appeared on my lips and I sat up, stretching my tired limbs.

"Steve, wake up." I leaned up and kissed his neck.

"Why? I like it here." His eyes fluttered open.

"Get up. This is the last surprise and I promise you'll like what's next."

"Okay, fine." He sat up and cracked his neck.

We packed up our stuff and carried it back to the car before we were off again, back on the road towards the city.

Before we reached the city limits, I pulled over on the side of the highway.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked when I reached over him towards the glove compartment.

I pulled out a black cloth and held it up. "You need to put this on."

"No," he answered quickly, "are you going to kill me?"

"No, Steve," I laughed. "I just don't want to ruin the surprise, and I know you'll fight me on it."

"Just tell me where we're going."

"Put on the blindfold."

"Can you see?" I waved my hand in front of his face.

"No. What the hell is this made out of? I can't even peak through it." He touched around blindly.

"Don't know, don't care," I answered and got back on the road, trying to maneuver through thicker traffic as we approached the city.

"I don't know if I like this very much," Steve commented.

"Will you stop worrying? Things will be fine."

"If you say so." He leaned back in her seat.

I pulled up in front of my destination half an hour later and went around the back of the building to park.

I got out of the car and Steve came over to me, taking off the blindfold. "What are we doing at a tattoo shop?" she asked.

 

"What do you think?" I smirked and led him inside.

"I don't want another tattoo, Nat," he chuckled.

"Then don't get one. But I am," I clarified.

"What are you getting?" Steve asked me.

"You'll see." I winked, and the manager of the store pushed us all into the back.

I pulled my sweater over my head and handed it to Steve.

He watched me. "Where are you getting it?"

"Right here." I pointed over my heart and sat in the chair. "Does it hurt?"

"Eh, the pain isn't that bad." Steve shrugged. "Nothing you can't handle."

"We'll see." The man who was doing my tattoo leaned me back in the chair.

"Tell me what it says," she begged.

"Look it up," I repeated.

The technician wiped my chest clean with a rag and started to open up the inks with his gloved hands.

I watched Steve look at me in amusement.

I winced in slight pain as the needle touched my skin for the first time, digging deeper with the beginning stroke. Steve snatched my hand into his without even a second in between.

"I told you it was going to hurt," he chuckled.

"It doesn't hurt. I just wasn't prepared."

"Sure." He held my hand tighter.

It took about an hour and surprisingly, with Steve there, I didn't even really feel anything.

The left of my chest was red and bruised with ink by the time he was done. I stood in front of the mirror to check out the new addition to my body.

Over my heart, in three perfect lines, were words the remained would remain true forever.

_"Steven Grant Rogers, born July 4, 1918, has my heart now and always._

Steve came up from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist, touching my bare skin, "You didn't have to get that for me, Nat."

I turned around and placed my arms around his neck, "I did. You need to know that I'm yours. I know I haven't always shown it but you complete me and I can't lose you. I know I have some more groveling to do, for a lot of things. But I will never give up on us. I love you."

He cups my face in hands and kisses my forehead, "And I love you, Nat. That'll never change."

Before I could respond, my phone ringed in my pocket, "Duty calls."

"It always does."

I answered it without looking, "Rogers speaking."

T'Challa's voice went through the phone, "Natasha, we found her."

I froze, "What?"

"There's a safe house in the eastern section Birnin Zana. Ravira's name is on the lease and that is where she was last seen."

"Are you certain?" I asked, suddenly feeling anxious.

"I wouldn't have called if I wasn't."

"Make sure they go nowhere. Ravira's mine."

" _Kueleweka_ , see you soon."

I hung up and looked into Steve's worried blue eyes, "It's time to get our little girl back, Steve."


	21. PART II|VI.

_Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness._

_-Marianne Williamson_

* * *

 

"You know that she's coming for us, right?"

"I know," Emerald whispered, counting the bullets in her gun.

"You do know that' Black Widow will most likely kill you, right?" Thomas continued, trying to get through to his wife, but she shrugged all the same.

"Not if I kill her first."

Thomas could help laugh at her stubbornness, "Emerald, for once can you just fucking listen to me!"

She sighs deeply and closes her eyes, placing the 44. Chrome in her lap, "What do you want me to say, Thomas? That you were right, that all of this blew up in my fucking face! I know that!"

"Oh, now, you know?" Thomas exclaimed, "After seven years, you finally understand what the hell I've been trying to tell you? It's too late for that, Emerald!"

"We can still do this," She pleaded, rising to her feet. When he was within reach, she laced her fingers through his. "We can still give Sabrina the life she deserves."

"Annabelle..."

That baffled her, "What?"

"Her name...is Annabelle Rogers, and you stole her from her mother's arms."

His hands slowly departed from hers as she stared at him in shock, "It's time to do what's right, and you know it."

"Thomas..."

"We're about to lose everything, Emerald. The best thing we can do right now is to give her back to her true parents."

Emerald was getting ready to respond to her husband when the little girl in question came into the room, tugging at the collar of her shirt. She looked around the room with a questioning glance, before her eyes alighted on Thomas. Thomas patted the couch next to him, and she sat rather stiffly.

"What's going on, baba'?" she asked, looking from Thomas to Emerald.

"Do you remember us telling you a while back that you weren't our biological daughter?" Thomas asked gently, attempting to ease her evident nerves.

"Yeah . . ."

"Well, there's something we have to tell you, sweetheart."

"No, we don't," Emerald argued.

"Yes, we do," Thomas said through gritted teeth as he laid his hand on Sabrina's shoulder and glared at Emerald from behind her back.

"It's time we talk about your real parents."

Her brows furrowed, "Did you know them?"

Thomas didn't continue, though. He seemed to be having trouble getting the words out of his mouth. "We've...met them."

"Oh." She whispered. "What are they like?"

Thomas smiled weakly at the little girl as he ran his hair through her blonde hair, "They're courageous people. They're the reason why little Ethan is here. You would love them. I know you would."

"Well, they didn't want me when I was a baby, so why do they want me now?"

Thomas' heart pounded in his chest, and it became hard to breathe correctly.

If she only knew.

Thomas looked to Emerald for help, but she remained silent. It was apparent he was getting no help from that quarter. "Who told you that they didn't want you, Sabrina?" Thomas finally asked, casting a hard look at Emerald.

She shrugged. "That's why people give babies up, isn't it? Because they don't want them?”

Thomas's hard look turned to red hot anger at Emerald, and he leveled his wife with a glare, before taking a deep breath and returning his gaze to Sabrina's face.

"That's not exactly right, Sabrina," he answered. "Some parents put their children up for adoption because they can't care for them. In this case, though . . ." Thomas choked on his words before letting them out, "You were stolen, little one. From your mother's arms."

Emerald gave him a skeptical look as if she couldn't believe that he’d told him the truth.

"What are you saying, baba?"

"I'm so sorry; I never wanted this to happen."

"You kidnapped me?" She asked, on the verge of letting her tears spill.

Thomas looked at his wife and gave her a look. Emerald remained still, years of guilt and fear now rising out of her. The moment she dreaded was here, and it was killing her.

"Mama, it's not true? Is it?"

Emerald's eyes met hers, and she knew that it was over. It was all over.

"It's true, my love. It's all true."

* * *

_Natasha’s POV_

By the time the jet landed back in Wakanda, attack strategies were made, and we all knew how this was going to go. They weren't armed, so this was going to be quick and straightforward. A car was waiting on the tarmac, and the air was humid from the rain.

"Natasha, do you copy?" Sam's voice called through my coms.

"What's your status, Sam?"

"We have them, Nat, we're on our way to you two now."

I couldn't help the breath of relief. I let brush pass my lips, "Thank you, Sam."

"Hang in there, Nat. She's almost home."

I was agitated and anxious. I could barely hold myself together.

When T'Challa called, I knew something was up. When he told me he found my little girl, I almost had a heart attack on the jet ride to Wakanda. I wasn't prepared, nor in the mood, to deal with this. But the moment was near, and everything was about to change.

Now and then, when Steve wasn't looking, I felt myself get livid at whatever twist of fate that stripped me from my daughter. It didn't make sense. Was I the only one in the world who had to deal with this shit? Was all the evil dumped on my shoulders?

It doesn't matter now, and it was all going be paid for.

Tony, Steve, Thor, Carol, Wanda, Bucky, and I waited for what seemed like hours, and it was honestly making me even more nervous about what's to come.

"I can't this waiting Steve, what time is it?" I asked, pacing back and forth.

"Midnight."

"He's late," I grumbled.

"I know, but Sam will be here. Have a little faith."

I nodded.

Steve wrapped his arm around my waist, kissing the side of my head to calm my nerves. It worked for a moment.

The car was parked underneath a secluded bridge in a questionable part of town. A large was to my left, and I swore I saw a tumbleweed pass by. In the shadows where we were, the city lights didn't reach the car, and I knew we would be hidden from prying eyes.

Tonight was a night of the utmost importance. Nothing was going to take this away from me, nothing.

I was finally going to get my life back, the experience that was stolen from Steve and I. All of the restless nights, the crying and depression, our departure. There were too many things that needed to be amended. But there was something I can never get back, and that was time. And that's what killed me the most. I was tired of it.

"Relax honey," Steve whispered soothingly, rubbing his hands up and down my back. "Baby, you're shaking."

"Am I?"

"Yeah, are you alright?"

"No, I miss my babies. And this certainly isn't helping.."

"Don't worry. It won't be long now."

I cringed slightly as I remember those words being told to me by the woman who stole my firstborn, "It won't be long now."

I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, silently repeating those words.

Sure enough, a black Audi pulled up in the opposite direction. I almost didn't see it because it was so dark. The headlights flashed.

T'Challa and Sam stepped out of the car with Thomas and Emerald handcuffed, flanked by two large security guards. The car stayed on, and Emerald stared at the back window silently. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I assumed it was a final farewell.

Emerald looked worse than I remembered, and I could see just how the power of fear was crippling her when she walked towards us. In the soft light of the streetlamp overhead, I saw how bags were evident under her eyes, and it is evident that she had lost a lot of weight from stress or just her lack of appetite.

Thomas stood proud and firm while Emerald stood vigilant. "Natasha and Steve Rogers." He nodded in greeting.

I was filled with so much rage that I couldn't even form a greeting. I pushed off of the car and strolled towards them. My boots clicked on the cement and echoed under the hallow bridge.

"I would ask you why we've been called here, but I'm sure I already know, and I'm not scared." His hands stayed clasped in front of him.

"Really? Why do you think you're here?" Steve asked, crossing his arms.

"You called us here to pay for our crimes." His steel-blue eyes were steadfast but scared. "I understand that nothing I say will ever change..."

"You would be correct." Tony interrupted him, "Nothing will ever change what you did to my family. Ever. So save your statements for someone who will listen."

"I know that what Emerald did was...cruel and unforgivable. But I'm begging you, have mercy on us. For my son's sake."

"Mercy?" Carol scoffed as Thor caught her by the waist to keep her in place. "Did she show mercy when she stole a baby from her mother's arms and convinced her that it was dead?"

Thomas' mouth opened up slightly to speak but realized that nothing he said could ever make this right. My head moved to the side in curiosity and annoyance as I watched Emerald consistently avoided my gaze.

"Nothing to say, huh?" I said through gritted teeth. Her head was bent down in defeat, not uttering a word.

Her silence was only fueling my rage.

"I've dreamt of this moment for the past three months." I circled her. "I've thought of nothing else but to watch you suffer as I fuck up everything you love as you've done to me. You even tried to kill me, my husband...with my little boy screaming for his mama to stop the gunshots."

She shivered slightly, but still kept her head down, "I knew this would be the outcome if they didn't succeed." Emerald seemed to have already made peace with her demons. Her voice was calm, expecting.

"You're a fucking monster." Wanda shook her head.

"And now here you are, after all these years. Right where I want you."

"Here I am." Her lips set into a thin line.

"So what to do with you now, Ms. Ravira?" I stepped up to her, her face inches away from mine.

Her eyes finally reached mine and showed pure defiance."I've lost everything. You cannot break me."

"You're right about one of those things. You've lost everything because of your actions. You placed a dead baby in my arms and lied to my fucking face saying that it was my little girl. You took my little girl to replace your son, and even when you got him back, you kept my little girl away from me. You brought your husband into your scheme, not caring if the lie was eating him up inside with every passing day. And now that the truth is out, your life is slowly crumbling around you. That's why you were never going to get away with it."

Before she could react, I grabbed her chin roughly and forced her to face me, "But what you were wrong about, is that I won't break you. Because I will, I will break every bone possible until I have nothing left to break. I will leave you broken so that you remember that you stole the wrong fucking baby."

For a moment, Emerald didn't have anything to say after my scolding until she said, "So you're just going to kill me?"

I didn't answer her. Instead, I looked at Bucky, and he immediately walked over and placed a handgun in my grasp.

"Please, don't this! I beg you!" Her husband pleaded as fear began to creep in Emerald's eyes.

I stared at her intently and nodded curtly at his direction, "Get him out of here, please."

The guards grabbed him with no hesitation as he kicked and grunted in a struggle.

"Release her."

"Natalie..." Tony began, but I cut him off. "Release her."

Tony looked at Steve; his eyes blank from all emotion as he stared the woman in front of him. His reached mine for a second before he authorized them to release her. And that's when shit went sideways.

As soon as her hands were free, she threw a wild punch at my direction.

I immediately caught her arm and flipped her to the ground, letting her land with a hard thud.

"Nat," Thor moved forward, but Steve stopped him, giving me an encouraging nod.

I started to shake violently. I was holding on by a thread. And it was then when my vision went red.

I shoved the gun in my pocket and watched her intently, "Get up."

She got up quickly and swung again. I spun around at the last second, landing a hard kick at the base of her shoulder. The sound of a bone snapping caught me off guard a little, but it didn't faze my rage. She dropped to her knees before screaming in agony, and it was music to my ears.

"Get up."

She charged at me, and I sidestepped her before punching her ribs. She screamed again and fell to her knees. I stepped in front of her and punched her in the face, splitting her skin from her cheek to her nose. I heard a loud snap. Nobody made a move to stop me as I continued my assault.

"Get up."

"Please," she spat out blood. "Please stop."

"I said get up," I said, with no hint of emotion behind my tone.

She wobbled for balance, but I kicked her in the chest and brought her back to the ground. For a split second, she stared up at me; her eyes were filled with fear and disbelief. I kicked at her, punched her, attacked her until she was curled on the ground, helplessly trying to protect her head.

I knelt over her and applied more punches to her face, now contorted with pain as blood gushed from her nose.

"Get up!" I stood and kicked her again.

She took one look into my eyes and shuffled her legs awkwardly until her retreat was blocked by the car. She was trapped. She was mine now. She leaned back against the vehicle; shoulders bowed in defeat.

At that moment, all I felt was the years of built-up rage, blinding fury that was turning me back into the monster I used to be.

"Please, I'm so sorry."

"Weak is what you are," I said in disgust.

Emerald sniffed, "I know."

"I hate you," It was getting harder and harder to control my breathing. "I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone in my entire life.

"I know."

"I don't think you do..."

"What will happen to my son?" Ravira spat blood again.

"I don't know, and I don't care."

"Please...tell me what will happen to my boy."

I walked behind her so that I didn't have to see her face. "He'll be with your sister for the time being, maybe longer. I'm sure he'll be fine," I told her truthfully.

"Thank you..."

"I didn't do it for you," I sighed. On some level, I understood. Emerald lived for her son, and when he was gone, a large piece of her left as well. But that didn't give her the right to take my piece as well.

"I would like to apologize for my actions. I know they threatened your family, and I tried to warn them…" She trailed off. "I admire you, Natasha. Your determination and love for Sab... I mean Annabelle, is infectious. You're a good mother. Better than I will ever be. "

I was slightly stunned by her words. Of all this time, now she was choosing to voice her real thoughts? It was a little too late for that. My vision became blurred every time I thought about what she had done to my family and me.

She had crossed the lines by attacking and threatening us. We had been a constant target, and I couldn't bring myself to conjure up remorse for this woman.

"I have no sympathy for you. If you thought that little speech would save your life, you were sadly mistaken," I whispered, my head low to her ear.

She began to pray. I heard her low mutterings.

I pulled the gun back out and pressed it hard against her temple, cocking it again.

She was shaking violently under the touch, looking at me with desperate eyes. And the more I looked at her, the more I felt...conflicted. I hated this woman, and she deserved to die. She earned everything she was getting and worse. But something was telling me that I shouldn't do it.

"Nat," I felt a firm but comforting hand cover my forearm, "You don't have to do this."

"I have to," I shook my head. "She has to die, and she has to pay."

"She is paying for it, Nat." Steve slowly moved in front of the sights of the gun. "She has nothing left. She can never see her son as much as she would like."

"She deserves it."

"She does, and she deserves to live with that guilt. Killing her would be too easy, Nat."

Tears were at the brim of my eyes, "Steve..."

"You're not that woman anymore, Nat. You're better than that."

"I'm not," I was starting to get agitated. "Move, Steve."

"No," he said, moving closer to me. "I believe in you, Nat. Do the right thing."

"I...dammit Steve, move!"

"Let it go, honey." His fists slowly surrounded the gun. He could have quickly snatched it out of my grasp, but he was giving me a choice. "Let it go."

My eyes averted to the broken woman before me and back to my husband, who was yet again seeing the good in me that I didn't understand. That was the real kicker here. I was selfish, I was heartless, and I was a relentless bitch. I knew that I've always known that. But not to Steve. To Steve, I was a goddess walking on water. He knew who I was, and he loved me anyway. He's been there for me, and he's never given up on me even when I've given him multiple opportunities to.

I could this, for him. Because he would for me.

Before I knew it, I dropped the gun and fell in his arms.

"It's alright, Nat. Let it go." He ran his hand through my hair, "I'm right here."

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed, holding him tight.

"Don't be, I'm so proud of you."

I couldn't help but let the relief flow over me, like a river. The anger, pain, and guilt that I was feeling were eating me up inside, turning me into something that I wasn't anymore. I murdered a man without hesitation, I manipulated my husband, and I nearly beat this woman to death. And now, looking back, I could have handled these things a lot better.

"You're free Nat...we have our little girl back." He sighed as I felt more arms wrap around me in the process.

"We got your back, Nat," Carol whispered.

"Always." Tony agreed.

I took a deep breath in relief and reveled in their comfort. I couldn't have asked for a better family. They were all right. I had them. I had Steve, and now I had my little girl back.

And it was finally time to meet her properly.


End file.
